After An Irish Wedding

September 10, 2023 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

I got up a little gingerly on the morning after the wedding. My alcohol unit count and monthly quota had taken something of a battering the day before and my head was a little fuzzy. It was a blessing then that the relatives of the bride and groom had laid on a lovely lunch with more drinks, at the wedding reception venue at Ballycurry. I had enough scope in my alcohol unit quota for a ‘hair of the dog’ or two.

By now, after a damp start, the weather was gorgeous and the manor house and estate looked splendid. After an excellent buffet lunch, we had the opportunity to see one of the recent ventures the bride’s brother has initiated to diversify revenues into the estate farm. This was a substantial film set that has been used by the BBC and, latterly, for streamed series such as Vikings and The Last Duel. The scale of the set was impressive and now the trick will be to find new ways of using it for further dramatic series.

*^{The Film Set With The Estate House Beyond}*

The next day, our last full day in Ireland, again started with dreary weather. We considered abandoning ill-formed plans to visit local gardens and to visit Dublin’s galleries and museums instead. But as we left our Airbnb, blue sky appeared and we headed east over the mountains again to Glendalough.

This is an ancient monastic settlement, set in a glacial valley, and now a big draw for tourists. We arrived just in time to find a parking spot among hundreds of cars and a fleet of large coaches. The ruins of the towers, monuments and chapels are very picturesque. The quaintness of the scene was enhanced by the presence of semi-tame deer mooching between the gravestones despite the crowds.

*^{Deer Amongst The Gravestones At Glendalough}*

Rather than loiter among the throng of tourists, or embark on the suggested nearby woodland walks, we headed off to lunch at Powerscourt Gardens.

*^{Powerscourt Gardens (Including, Apparently, The Longest Herbaceous Border in Ireland)}*

The mansion at Powerscourt was destroyed by fire in 1974 and has been restored since as a tourist destination with a few high-quality shops (including a couple of Jane’s favourites) and a restaurant. We were able to bag a restaurant seat by the window overlooking the 47 acre expanse of formal gardens and arboretum. The view was great and the food was excellent quality and value.

*^{Powerscourt Gardens And Great Sugar Loaf Mountain}*

We worked lunch off a bit with an extended walk around the gardens. These are varied in format and large enough to absorb the large number of visitors, especially as we moved away from the main building. The sun was creating lovely dappled shade, the borders were full of colour, bees and butterflies, and the views were splendid. I enjoyed our relaxed time at Powerscourt very much.

Our penultimate excursion (apart from one final, smooth charging up of the car) was again to the coast. We visited Bray Head with the intention of walking along the coastal path for a while. Unfortunately, this was shut due to a recent rockfall so we ventured up towards Bray Head. This was a steep and stony climb that, until we reached the top, afforded none of the expected views of Bray or the coast to the north.

^{Looking South and North West From Bray Head}

Eventually I made it to the top of the tree line to get some long views up the coast and across to the Wicklow Mountains but I eschewed the final scramble to the imperious, concrete Bray Head Cross which was built in 1950 and from which, I imagine, the vistas are even more spectacular.

*^{Bray Head Cross – It’s Bigger Than It Looks Here}*

Jane had one more thing on her bucket list for the trip before we left for Roslare and the ferry uncomfortably early the following morning. That was to visit a traditional, rural Irish pub. We popped into the one nearest to our Airbnb, Brennans in Kilteel, which was just inside Kildare rather than Wicklow.

*^{An Authentic But Rather Empty ‘Brennans’, Kilteel, At 6pm On A Monday Evening}*

As was befitting, I had a pint of Guinness (which took me fractionally over my 100 alcohol unit quota for the month but which was very nice and creamy). In a nod to our normal UK-routine we completed the Guardian newspaper Quick Crossword over our drinks. Then we headed back to our Airbnb to finish the Netflix Scandi-noir crime series we had started earlier in our trip, polished off the remaining chocolate and crisps, and had an early night. It was a pleasantly chilled evening to complete our busy day and our brief stay in Ireland!

Before An Irish Wedding

September 8, 2023 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

At the end of August, Jane and I travelled by road and ferry to County Wicklow in Ireland to attend, and help celebrate, the wedding of a granddaughter of Jane’s aunt. This was a great opportunity to see a part of Ireland and a useful test of driving (and, critically, charging up) our electric car in a foreign country. We had decided to tack a free day on either side of the two days of the wedding events so we could get a feel for County Wicklow and space out the two 12-hour journeys to and from Ireland.

^{Leaving Fishguard, Approaching Roslare. The Ferry Trip Reminded Me Of My Childhood Trips To The Isle of Wight}

The only time I had been to the Republic of Ireland before was for a short conference in Dublin. I only really remember that trip for it being the only time in my working career that I was ever late for the start of a conference due to drink-induced oversleeping (I had previously prided myself on turning up no matter what). During this latest visit, the drinking was much more moderate, the wedding celebrations were lovely and we had a very good time.

We stayed in an Airbnb on the west side of the Wicklow Mountains – the opposite side from the location of the wedding. That meant more driving for Jane (since she didn’t really trust me in the narrow lanes) but it enabled us to see much more of County Wicklow and the eastern edge of County Kildare. Having our own car allowed a comfortable familiarity and charging it up was relatively easy, although more expensive than in the UK.

Our Airbnb was in a renovated and repurposed farm outbuilding amid a lovely garden that is periodically open to the public – June Blake’s Garden. At the time of our visit the flower beds were packed with colour. The dahlias (I have come to love this species of plant) were particularly gorgeous. It was lovely to stroll through the garden and among the restored farm buildings whenever we went out to the car or just to put the recycling out.

*^{June Blake’s Garden, Blessington, Wicklow}*

Armed with information from the Airbnb host, the bride to be and a travel blog I follow by someone living in Ireland (Marie at HopsSkipsandJumps), we ad-libbed our itinerary and set off on our first free morning to the National Botanic Gardens at Kilmacurragh. The meadows, trees and one long flower bed that was full of interesting plants and masses of bees and butterflies, were lovely and the weather was kind.

*^{National Botanic Gardens, Kilmacurragh}*

We then headed to the town of Wicklow for a perusal of the county town and lunch. Already we were finding the Irish people very friendly and, as we sat on the quayside with our fish and chips, a quip from a passer-by, “ahh, fine dining!”, made us giggle.

*^{Wicklow Town Docks – Perfect Spot For Fish And Chips!}*

We took a look at the remains of a Norman castle, (The Black Castle) on a promontory overlooking the town. We loved the views along the coast in gorgeous sunshine.

^{Views From The Black Castle, Wicklow Town}

Jane wanted to visit the hand weaving mill and shop at the ancient and pretty rural settlement of Avoca. Having negotiated our way down some very narrow roads to Avoca and wandered around the shop, we returned to the coast for a wander along one of the long and surprisingly empty beaches on the Wicklow coast.

We then headed home equipped with bits of fruit, nuts, chocolate and crisps for an evening in front of Netflix. To be honest we didn’t eat very healthily until we got to the wedding reception but we did enjoy The Lørenskog Disappearance, which is yet another European crime thriller in which we seem to specialise.

Next morning was rather grey and drizzly. We ventured a quick walk and a breath of fresh but damp air around a section of the nearby Blessington Lakes. These were formed over 50 years ago when the Poulaphoca Dam was built.

*^{Blessington Lakes And Low Cloud Over The Wicklow Mountains}*

Fearing rain, we headed back to the Airbnb to change into our glad rags. In my case that involved squeezing rather inelegantly into a morning suit that I hadn’t worn for decades and that I first wore at my own wedding over 38 years ago. It was a little tight to say the least!

Then we were off to the wedding ceremony. The wedding service, in Nun’s Cross Church, Killiskey, was lovely and cheering. The weather perked up for the photos on the way out and we made our way to the wedding reception.

This was in a giant marquee directly in front of an impressive country house owned by the bride’s family. The estate is managed by her aunt and uncle and, latterly, her brother. The setting and arrangements for the reception were both marvellous. The marquee was laid out for around 170 guests and we all enjoyed an evening of plentiful drinks, lovely food (especially the local lamb), dancing, mingling and celebrating.

It was a late night by the time we got back to the Airbnb, but it had been a thoroughly memorable day.

Fragmented Summer

August 16, 2023 / fgrtommo / 1 Comment

June this year was wonderfully sunny. The vegetables would have appreciated a little more rain but July certainly made up for that. Indeed, July and, so far, August have often felt autumnal and summer has only come in fits and starts. The sunny periods may have been intermittent but maybe that has helped us to appreciate the sun more on the occasions when it has shone on the unusually verdant countryside.

*^{Intermittent Bright Summer Sunshine On My Daily Walks Into Town}*

Our summer has sometimes felt as fragmented as the weather. The lack of any ties to school holidays and, much more recently, my retirement has meant that we don’t tend to book blocks of holiday through the summer months. As a result, we don’t have centrepiece diary commitments to schedule around. Instead, we have moved towards multiple shorter trips including those to our sons in Belfast and Edinburgh, plus a couple of day visits to Nottingham to check on my Dad during a period of ill-health.

^{The Wonderful Variations Of London’s Skylines}

Retirement means flexibility too. I was able a few weeks ago to piggy back, at relatively short notice, onto the back of a visit Jane was making to London to see a friend of hers. We could share the driving a bit and I caught up with an old friend of my own. I also took the opportunity to visit an exhibition of the sort that was part of my routine when we had a flat or sons in London. I miss those exhibition trips a lot. This one was a visit to the rather wonderful White Cube in Bermondsey.

*^{Anselm Kiefer At The White Cube Gallery, Bermondsey}*

I have been to this gallery several times and one of the most memorable visits was to see an exhibition by Anselm Kiefer. I wrote briefly here about that back in January 2020 just before Covid disrupted things. The monumentalism and scale of that exhibition is repeated in his latest works at The White Cube. I loved it and the White Cube spaces were perfect for it!

Kiefer’s works this time were based around the novel by James Joyce called Finnegan’s Wake. The novel is apparently (I’ve not tried to read it) a fractured mix of dream world and grim reality that deploys invented and combined words. The language of the novel is strewn across most of the works on show. While most of the phrases and sentences are nonsensical in this context, they added somehow to the mystery and sense of a dystopia as I moved from room to room.

*^{Detail From Various Anselm Kiefer Works At The White Cube Gallery}*

Goodness knows how the White Cube is funded – the exhibition was, as usual, free – and I fear removal of some of the works will require repolishing of the extensive polished concrete gallery floors. To be honest the huge piles of debris in a couple of the exhibition rooms were, for all their scale, harder to appreciate than the pictures on the walls. These were dense art works including rural scenes that worked for me close up and from observation across the huge rooms.

*^{‘Woman Will Water The Wild World Over’ By Anselm Kiefer}*

Those rooms were linked by a vast corridor stuffed with huge, dusty vitrines and crude floor-to-ceiling shelves full of… well, what were they full of? Just stuff! It was like walking through a museum of detritus but it was strangely compelling and all underlined by the sheer scale of the thing.

Another recent highlight has been a visit to Cambridge where I once – several decades ago – studied. I had not been back for quite a while and the reason this time was the wedding of my Best Man (BM). He lives nearby and we took up an Airbnb (which turned out to be outstanding) in his village and travelled into Cambridge twice: once for the formal registry element of the wedding and then again for a ceremony and reception held in BM’s and my old college, Peterhouse.

^{Our Outstanding Airbnb (Just the Left-Hand Portion Of The Building) From The Grounds}

^{Peterhouse Main Quadrangle and Chapel (Left) And My Old H Staircase In Gisborne Court (Right)}

The whole weekend was a delightful mix of ceremony, catch up with a few old friends and meetings with a number of new acquaintances – both local and international – who were very interesting and easy to talk to. They really helped to make the whole weekend event lovely. The event generated some nostalgia too as the reception dinner was held in the main Peterhouse Dining Hall where, about 50 years ago, I ate college meals every day. I didn’t appreciate the history or the grandeur of the college buildings half as much when I was living there as I did during this fleeting visit.

One other prompt for a less welcome bit of recollection was that Jane, and a few others at the wedding, contracted Covid there. Fortunately, I have avoided it again but it was a reminder that the pandemic was not long ago and that damned virus is still very much around.

During our stay in and around Cambridge, Jane and I went to Kettle’s Yard to see an exhibition of Palestinian embroidery over the last century that Jane had read about. Even someone like me with no real understanding of the intricacies of embroidery could appreciate the delightful patterns and muted colours of the clothing on display in the first room of everyday women’s wear.

*^{Palestinian Embroidery At Kettles Yard; Everyday Wear In The 1920’s}*

The exhibition went on to show more formal and more ornate wear and the way each local area had its distinctive styles and motifs. The exhibition then tracked the changes in Palestine embroidery brought about by history since the Second World War.

*^{Palestinian Embroidery: Formal Wear (1921)}*

First the United Nations Partition Plan for Palestine in 1947, the subsequent displacement of about 70,000 Palestinians, and then the 1967 Six-Day War all disrupted and then broke much of the cottage industry of embroidery crafting in the Palestinian villages. Enforced movement of Palestinians mixed up the local pockets of unique styling. Materials such as silks from France became unattainable and were replaced by cheaper products. Small handicraft workshops were often replaced by factories. The end results, outside of a few traditional, small-scale operations, became bland and almost garish.

Finally, following and during the Intifadas of the 1980s and 1990s the embroidery became a means of protest. The exhibition showed how the defiance of the Palestinians led them to incorporate the Palestinian flag into their embroidery designs as a symbol of resistance.

The exhibition was an interesting mix of video and clothing, and of art and history.

*^{Palestinian Dress Post Intifada With The Palestinian Flag Embedded In Designs}*

Back at home the advent of the new football season, together with the Women’s Football World Cup, is starting to take up time at Forest Green Rovers’ football stadium and in front of the telly.

*^{Evening Football At Forest Green Rovers – We Lost (Again) But It Was A Nice Sunset}*

Also, we have entertained Eldest Son, his wife and First Grandchild (FG) with a number of relatives who were keen to meet the little one. I had a great time with FG and my phone is full of video of him that Jane and I watch on repeat. Now we are looking forward to entertaining Youngest Son, his partner and some of their (and our) friends from their time in Australia. Then we are off to Ireland for another wedding. For a quietly retired chap like me, summer may feel a bit fragmented but it also feels pretty full!

Edinburgh: Same Trip, Different Model

July 11, 2023 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

For our latest visit to Edinburgh, we changed the accommodation model from what we have done in the past. This time we stayed in an Airbnb, converted mews building rather than stay in Eldest Son (ES) and his wife’s flat. That meant we felt we could stay in Edinburgh for longer – a full week this time – and not be a burden on them as they worked and went about their daily lives.

*^{Edinburgh New Town (From Calton Hill) – Where First Grandchild Lives!}*

Because our accommodation was so close to them, we were able to pop over for, or just after, breakfast to see First Grandchild (FG) and, on his nursery days, enjoy the novelty of taking him to his nursery. Overall, we saw ES, his wife and FG as much as ever, but they and we could also enjoy a bit more independence. It worked for us anyway!

Our first few days were those when FG doesn’t go to nursery and so we had fun with him in Inverleith Park, the Royal Botanic Garden and the National Portrait Gallery (where FG ignored the art but loved going up and down the flights of steps). We also loved playing with him at home playing with his toys. It had been almost two months since we had last seen FG and, at his age (just over 18 months), that is a long time and a lot of growing up. The way he now plays with his toys using his imagination in conversation with them is the main development I noticed.

*^{Edinburgh Skyline From Inverleith Park}*

The highlight of these early days of our stay was a car trip to Jupiter Artland to the south west of Edinburgh. This is an outdoor sculpture park exhibiting a wide variety of works of contemporary artists set in over 100 acres of woodland and open grassland. It is a very impressive venture founded in 2009 by philanthropist art collectors Robert and Nicky Wilson.

*^{Jupiter Artland: Works By Shane Waltner, Ian Hamilton Finlay, Anish Kapoor And Cornelia Parker}*

FG walked with us but was a little bemused by our occasional sheltering under trees to avoid the showers. He seemed to particularly enjoy the ‘Weeping Girls’ (rather macabre bronze figures looking very sad) by Laura Ford and the ‘Temple of Apollo’ by Ian Hamilton Finlay which had the sort of steps that he loves.

*^{Jupiter Artland: One Of The ‘Weeping Girls’ By Laura Ford}*

I believe that he also enjoyed the snacks at the café. While he tried those out, I popped off to get a closer look at the earthworks by Charles Jencks that we had driven past on the way in to Jupiter Artland. They are larger versions of those outside the Scottish Museum of Modern Art and are quite dramatic, especially as the heavens opened for another shower.

*^{Jupiter Artland: Charles Jencks’ ‘Cells Of Life’}*

On the Sunday we had a lovely lunch with ES’s wife’s parents. ES has certainly married into a family that knows hospitality and how to cook. We had great breakfasts fueled by bread from excellent Archipelago Bakery and delightful gooseberry jam home made by ES’s mother-in-law. On our Edinburgh visits ES’s wife has repeatedly demonstrated calm and efficient cooking of lovely meals and she did so again. ES wasn’t to be outshone and he treated us to a very tasty vegetable curry too. Overall, and as usual, we ate very well.

We also drank well including at our favourite Edinburgh bar, Spry and at Kay’s Bar which is a tiny, intimate pub tucked away in a side street right next to our Airbnb accommodation.

Once we had dropped FG off at nursery – he seemed entirely unfazed by the change in those accompanying him – Jane and I had several hours in which to relax and see the sights of Edinburgh. Our main excursion within Edinburgh was past the noisy royalists and noisier anti-royalists lining the Royal Mile to watch King Charles receive the Scottish crown jewels, and on to the National Museum of Scotland.

*^{‘Not My King’ Protesters On The Royal Mile, Edinburgh}*

There we saw an exhibition called Beyond the Little Black Dress. This traced the history of the little black dress as a fashion item since the 1920’s to the present (and, with a bit of foresight, into the future). Even I could see that the dresses were spectacularly good and almost all the famous designers I know were represented.

*_{The Little Black Dress Exhibition At The Scottish National Museum}*

Rather than follow a purely chronological route, the exhibition was mainly structured around themes that have underpinned the use of the little black dress by designers and those who wear it. There were sections on ‘Well Mannered Black’ (emphasising elegance during cocktail hour), ‘Spiritual Black’ (reflecting religious undertones), ‘Subcultural Black’ (such as the Goth look), and ‘Subversive Black’ (including the erotic and nuances of bondage). Others showed, for instance, how Japanese designers used different ‘Shades of Black’ and how sustainable fashion is emerging.

*^{Little Black Dresses At The Exhibition At The Scottish National Museum (With A 3-D Printed Dress Bottom Right)}*

I liked the displays very much and I felt I learnt something in an area I know little about. I was particularly struck by the last exhibit which was a short video called ‘Her Dreams Are Bigger’ by Osman Yousefzada. This showed poor textile workers in Bangladesh – the sort that make mass-produced little black dresses – and related what they imagined the wearers of the clothes they make do and think. The punchline is in the title of the video. It was quite unexpectedly moving.

While Jane went off to peruse shops, I walked over to Old Calton Burial Ground and Calton Hill. Both offered great views of Edinburgh in wonderfully sunny weather and clear air.

^{Old Calton Burial Ground}

I hadn’t seen the burial ground before and it is a secluded, private space easily overlooked by tourists. It is dominated by a tall obelisk erected in memory of members of the Friends of the People who campaigned for universal suffrage in the late 18th century but who were deported to Australia for their efforts. It got me researching ‘one man one vote’ campaigns and I was amazed to find out how long it took for rich property owners to lose their monopoly of electoral privilege. It was only in the early 20th century that the UK passed legislation to enable all men to vote; womens’ suffrage followed shortly after.

*^{View Across Edinburgh Old Town From Calton Hill}*

On another day, Jane and I popped into The Scottish Gallery, a private gallery which had completely changed its exhibitions since the last time we visited and now included some lovely porcelain pottery by Jack Doherty (not someone I knew but who Jane follows and likes).

Jane and I also visited both buildings comprising the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art where I briefly revisited the retrospective of Alberta Whittle’s work (and, as during our last visit, enjoyed the abstract watercolours more than the more prominent fabric and photo-collage works). We wandered through the galleries and again I was struck by the number of famous artists (that is, the ones I know!) represented on the walls. It was nice to be able to spend the time rather aimlessly taking in such a wide range of art.

^{Modern Art Galleries of Scotland 1 and 2}

The relative flexibility of our longer stay in Edinburgh than usual (without impinging overmuch on ES and his wife) and the fact that we drove up (with no recharging delays or issues at all) and so had a car with us, afforded the opportunity to travel further afield. I’ll cover our day trip to Glasgow separately……

Breaking the Routine – To Visit and Be Visited

June 11, 2023October 7, 2024 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

After Jane’s Mother’s funeral early last month, we had visits from my Dad and my sister and then my Best Man (BM). A quiet week followed before we headed off to Belfast to see Youngest Son (YS) and his partner. I’ve written a lot about my retirement settling me into a new structure of daily routine but these visits were a nice break from that and forced changes to our settled pattern of everyday life – a beneficial shake up.

It had been quite a while since my Dad and sister had visited us. Whilst there have been no structural changes to the house or garden since their last visit, the garden has matured. The weather was largely fine and the garden was approaching its best in terms of colour and variety. This, despite the loss of several small shrubs and many of the ornamental grasses during the cold and wet of late Winter and early Spring.

We ventured out on a few short local walks together while my Dad and sister were with us. Unfortunately, the bluebells in the woods on the way into town were well past their best but there was enough to see and the strolls were pleasant and largely sunlit.

We also had an excellent dinner at The Woolpack Inn in Slad near Stroud (thanks Dad!). This pub was made famous by the poet, Laurie Lee and it’s a great venue to go to with visitors to Gloucestershire. On one hand it looks like what people typically envisage an old rural pub to be (the toilets are still outside!) and the atmosphere is intimate and cosy. On the other hand, it offers modern, excellent food, and smiling but unoppressive service. In addition, I had a really well-kept pint of India Pale Ale.

*^{Double Rainbow From Our Dinner Table Window At The Woolpack}*

Later in the week, the arrival of my BM, an old friend from university, was dominated by his exciting news that he is getting married. We met his fiancé, a lovely Chinese woman, in 2020 just before the Covid lockdown. After a lockdown apart, they are now together in Kenya and planning their wedding. It’s a lovely story of late life (for him, anyway) romance and we enjoyed catching up with that and the other developments in BM’s life during good food and long walks.

Our trip to Belfast was long awaited. YS and his partner bought a house there at the end of last year and we have been keen to visit it and them since then. YS wanted to settle into the house – and get the spare bedroom renovated – before inviting us. Then that invitation was postponed by YS and his partner taking on the responsibility for a large and lively puppy. We finally arrived to meet ‘Reggie’! He is a disruptive handful but they love him despite his chewing of the furniture and the digging up of the lawn.

The house is already great and has a lot of potential. I liked the local area, Ormeau, very much; it is a much larger residential area than I remembered with several roads with pretty Victorian terraces and later rows of larger, well-built houses. There are a smattering of attractive independent businesses on the main road and river walks and the Belfast Botanic Gardens and Ulster Museum are nearby.

*^{Inside The Belfast Botanic Gardens Palm House}*

We visited the Botanical Garden Palm House briefly but spent far longer in the Ulster Museum. This has a very diverse set of exhibits and attractions set in an airy combination of old and new buildings. Since YS moved to Belfast, I have focused more than before on articles and television programmes about Ireland but my understanding of its history remains thin; the museum provided a lot of reminders and filled in a lot of gaps.

*^{Inside The Ulster Museum With Porcelain Works By Frances Lambe And Nuala O’Donovan}*

As well as displays about Ulster and Northern Ireland history there was some beautiful craftmanship on show. Overall, it is well worth a (free!) visit and I’m sure we will go again.

The weather in Belfast was noticeably cooler than back in England but it was mainly sunny and clear; perfect for walks along the coast to the east of Belfast and around the green enclaves of Belfast along the Lagan River – both with and without Reggie.

*^{Walking With Reggie in Belvoir Park Forest, Belfast}*

*^{The Path On The South Side Of The Lagan Estuary}*

We were also able to leave Reggie so we could visit YS’s place of work in a renovated set of warehouses and factories in East Belfast. His offices weren’t open but we were able to sample a beer (and a few games of Bananagrams – YS loves games!) in the Boundary Brewing Taproom next door.

YS’s partner’s business (Restore Osteopathy) is more centrally located in the Cathedral Quarter. Here she practices not only osteopathy in a very attractive treatment room but also leads yoga and Pilates classes in two large, ideally suited rooms. It’s a wonderful space for what she does. Both YS and his partner have more than found their feet in Belfast.

*^{YS’s Partner’s Yoga Spaces And Treatment Room}*

Belfast itself is very lively and seems to have so much potential if only the politics would calm down and business could invest with even more certainty. It is a small city compared to London. But, like Edinburgh (which is about 50% bigger) it is a capital city, has some impressive things to see and is attracting increasing numbers of young people setting up new businesses.

Great coffee houses and interesting and enjoyable restaurants are popping up across the city. On this trip we ate at EDŌ where we had a welcome chance to catch up with YS’s partner’s parents (thanks for dinner guys!) and Waterman House. We breakfasted on trendy bread from an bakery (Bakari) apparently using Icelandic recipes.

*^{Waterman House Restaurant With A Large Painting Of Belfast By Colin Davidson}*

Being visited and visiting others disrupts our well-worn micro-routines. This is a good thing. Having YS ask us whether we want a beer at 4.30pm instead of waiting till our traditional 6pm drinking time is a good challenge. Not finding time to do the Quick Crossword at 5pm is actually ok for a day or two. Having to scrabble around in the depths of a cupboard for our sugar bowl for a visitor that takes sugar in their coffee isn’t much trouble really. Dealing with the issues of a new puppy is unsettling but helps to keep us on our toes. Seeing new places and finding out about them is always interesting. We should, and will, do more and I should avoid getting stuck in my ways.

Life and Death

April 12, 2023 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

Spring is definitely with us after a very wet March. We have April showers – it even snowed for a minute or two earlier today – and spring flowers. The cherry blossom is out and there are lambs in the fields.

^{One Of Many Cherry Trees In Full Bloom In The Local Area}

The birds are marking out their territory and gathering material for their nests. During just 15 minutes of my walk to my Food Bank duties in Stroud yesterday I switched on the Merlin bird identification app on my phone and detected (and sometimes saw) 20 different bird varieties (plus a seagull and a buzzard that didn’t squawk at the right time). Spring is such a busy time for these little home builders and it was relieving and lovely to hear that our rural pathways are still home to such avian diversity.

*^{Birds Heard In 15 Minutes During A Local Walk}*

The outside temperatures are gradually rising with the prospect of heatwaves to come. At Easter, when Youngest Son and Middle Son came to stay for a couple of days and the weather was sunny, we managed our first outdoor lunch of the year.

*^{Random Roadside Bulbs On The Way To Food Bank}*

Spring really is a season of new life and promise.

Except that, this spring, we are mourning the passing of Jane’s mother who died peacefully last week in the care home we had all come to love and respect. Her death came as no surprise after a steady decline hastened by a fall but of course there is mood of sadness around the family. Easter and its Bank Holiday’s was a convenient pause for Jane to enable reflection on her relationship with her Mum before getting stuck into the administration of funeral arrangements. Death brings sadness but also a need for clear thinking about the fall out. Death balances out life.

Before the funeral we are off to Edinburgh to see Eldest Son, his partner and First Grandchild. That will be a great distraction and an antidote for Jane to the last couple of weeks of focus on looking after her Mum and then the mourning of her passing. Of course, discussions about Jane’s Mum and the making of funeral arrangements will continue, but it will be in the company of a little grandchild who will demonstrate as vividly as possible that life goes on.

A few days of tiny, effervescent youth and spring; what could be better!

Visiting Two Sons

February 20, 2023February 20, 2023 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

A couple of weekends ago we drove the 350 miles north to Edinburgh to get another hugely welcome dose of Eldest Son (ES), his wife and their delightful son. My dodgy back more than held up through the drives up and down, the weather was clear and dry, the electric car charging points we used were all working and available, and so both journeys were smooth.

*^{The (Long) Road To Edinburgh At Keele Services}*

Throughout our visit, First Grandchild (FG) was an unalloyed joy. He only had one 30 minute spell when he was tired and grumpy, but he is now old enough to be distractible and consolable. Whilst his parents have to deal with more of the everyday stresses and strains (and some very early mornings) than I can really remember from our own parenting days, they are settling into their own parenthood, married life and their flat; and FG seems to be loving life!

We had many little trips out with the little one including to the National Museum of Scotland and the Royal Botanic Garden Edinburgh. Both venues have become fixtures in our itinerary for every trip since they are both so toddler-friendly and free (while presumably relying in large part on donations).

We managed a trip out to South Edinburgh with FG, ES and wife to a lovely, relatively new café (Elliott’s) and we twice slipped into Spry Wine Shop and Bar which is, so far, my favourite bar in Edinburgh. Jane commented that being on our own in Spry felt like being naughtily awol from grand-parenting duties but we did babysit later to enable ES and his wife to visit the same bar one evening.

It was a lovely few days of catch-up, good food and of being able to see, first hand, First Grandchild’s developing physicality, brainpower and, perhaps most of all, his sense of humour. The videos we now play every day (sometimes multiple times a day) are those of him mucking about and giggling. As grandparents he is just an absolute treat and we are lucky to be able to see him every couple of months or so.

*^{Grey Skies Over Edinburgh From The Royal Botanical Gardens}*

We were able to visit Middle Son and his partner in Bristol shortly after our return from Edinburgh. A highlight was to be able to see, open/close and touch their new bedroom wardrobes. These were custom made by a craftsman cabinet maker from our village who is near retirement but who is very skilled and has done work in the past in our house. We are so pleased we could help make the connection to him. The wardrobes looked great.

We then all went to a very swish new Spanish restaurant called Paco Tapas which is run by an apparently Michelin starred chef (Peter Sanchez-Inglesias). His reputation and that of his kitchen clearly goes before him and brings in the crowds – the restaurant was packed despite a cost of living crisis and relatively high prices. Certainly the food was very good and some of the small plates were exceptional. I especially liked the lamb rump, pork ribs, patatas bravas and citrusy fennel. I also loved that I faced the kitchen where much was cooked over open flames in a way that provided a bit of extra theatre.

The restaurant was in an area of Bristol that I didn’t know on the south bank of the Avon estuary called Wapping Wharf. It was clearly once a heavily used port area. Large, old cranes still dominate the harbourside while rail tracks criss-cross the roads. There were still many boats on the quayside from modern cruisers (including one surmounted by a helicopter!), to small cargo ships, to The Matthew of Bristol which is a reconstruction of the boat John Cabot used to discover Newfoundland in 1497.

*^{‘The Matthew At Bristol’ And Princes Wharf Cranes}*

It was raining so we didn’t loiter but the wharf and nearby marinas, container-based shopping units and restaurants looked interesting and meriting another visit. Indeed, visiting the cities that our sons have moved to over the last year – Edinburgh, Bristol and Belfast – is one of our great pleasures these days. However, later this week we are taking a break from that cycle to visit Paris…… whoop, whoop!

Three Property Purchases and a Funeral

December 19, 2022 / fgrtommo / 1 Comment

Last month we went to a funeral for a very popular, lovely, family man almost 10 years younger than me. He had died suddenly leaving his family and friends shocked and bereft. It was an absolutely packed and emotional church service – he was a terrific guy who was enormously popular – followed by an equally packed reception. The whole occasion was very moving and I have thought about it a lot since.

Of course, the overriding feeling during the service and afterwards was sadness that it represented a life cut short, especially as he was so full of life, he had looked so well and was so obviously a vital part of his family, the organisation he worked for and his local community. However, the speeches and readings at the funeral were largely an uplifting celebration of his life. There were many amusing anecdotes and also a lovely poem by David Harkins that provided a positive slant on death that gave a little boost even in such a sad situation.

You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Into this mix of shock, sadness and a celebration of a life well lived, was a feeling of being the recipient of good fortune in that I am still here and reasonably healthy. I have seen three sons settle with three delightful partners and seen Eldest Son produce a wonderful child with his wife. And, this year, I’ve seen all three sons purchase homes with their partners that are each very different but which seem very well suited to each pair; a flat in Edinburgh, a terrace house in Bristol and a semi-detached house in Belfast.

Old age may bring aches, pains and worse but it is a privilege to have had longevity to be able to see our sons grow and establish themselves in the world, to be happy and to establish a platform into which they could introduce new life. As I stood in the crowded church at the funeral, I thought: lucky me.

*^{Late Afternoon Walk With Middle Son And His Partner Near Their New Home In Bristol}*

Even as Christmas approaches and we look forward to hosting our sons and their partners at various times over the Christmas period, Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I are starting to think about making the most of our time with a few trips next year. First, we want to get to Belfast to see Youngest Son’s new house but we will be trying to visit Edinburgh too and, I hope, spending smaller but more numerous fragments of time in nearby Bristol. Plus, after a few years of abstinence, we want to travel abroad again.

Meanwhile, I continue to potter through my local routine of walking, shopping, cooking, and working a bit for the local Climate Action Network and Food Bank. In recent cold, clear weather, the local walks have been a real treat.

Plus, of course, I have been watching a lot of football at the World Cup. Qatar may have been a crazy choice for a number of reasons but the overall quality of the football has been great. For all the concern about the Qatari views on LGBTQ rights and workers rights, it has been a pleasant change to see the joyous, ebullient crowds in the stadia in contrast to the thuggery and tears at Wembley at the Euros a couple of years ago.

My normal routine was also interrupted but enhanced by a trip to Lewes in Sussex. I tagged along with LSW who wanted to visit a specific shop called Freight there. It was a long way to travel for a shop but it was very much LSWs thing and Lewes is a very attractive town.

*^{Harvey’s Brewery And St Michael’s Church, Lewes}*

Harvey’s brewery is based in the town and the smell of hops was delightful as we walked down the high street. It is a smell that reminds me of my home town of Reading which was the home of Courage breweries in my youth. I love it.

After a very good value and pleasant lunch at Bill’s, LSW and I split up for a bit. While LSW surveyed the shops, I wandered around the town’s castle and gardens. The gardens are a bit bleak at this time of year but the weather was fine and the views from the visitor-friendly castle were pretty impressive in all directions.

*^{Views Of And Views From Lewes Castle}*

Since getting back home, the weather has been very cold and then surprisingly snowy. We had about seven inches of snow and it stuck around for almost a week. My Yaktrax Ice Grips allowed me to continue my normal round of walks to and from the local towns and the frost and snow made the local countryside en route even prettier than usual. A week of such weather is, though, enough in my book; I am looking forward to temperatures rising a little bit before Christmas.

*^{Frosty Weather In Nearby Ruskin Mill Valley}*

And so on to Christmas! Hopefully our sons and their partners will be able to avoid the issues caused by strikes and weather to make it down to us from their various new abodes. Then we can feel so lucky all over again…..

*^{A Cold And Not-So-Lucky Grey Heron In Ruskin Mill Valley}*

Onwards to Dundee and Edinburgh

December 4, 2022 / fgrtommo / 1 Comment

Having stayed a couple of nights at the small, tasteful and quirky Taybank hotel, Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I moved on and stayed for further couple of nights in Dundee at a large, modern Premier Inn. This was right on the Tay estuary, over which we had a great but very windswept view.

It was also conveniently close to the new V&A Design Museum outpost in Dundee. This is a wonderful building, designed by Kengo Kuma. The museum provides a video explanation by Kuma of why the museum looks like it does and that made it even more interesting for me.

The weather was intermittently very wet (dreich is the appropriate Scottish word I believe), so we went to the dry comfort of the V&A twice. We took in not only the standing exhibitions, but also the temporary ones including a very comprehensive and wide ranging one about Plastic: ‘The Remaking of Our World’. Fortunately that was every bit as interesting as the big exhibitions I have seen in recent years in the V&A London. It’s great that Dundee has such an impressive centrepiece.

*^{The V&A And RRS Discovery And Some Sun!}*

*^{V&A Dundee: Part Of The Plastics Exhibition}*

While in Dundee, LSW did start to eat again following the illness she had picked up from First Grandchild (FG) the previous weekend. However, she quickly regretted it and, with the rain still persistent, our movements were limited. Then, for a while, the weather relented and we did make it to the McManus Art Gallery and Museum. This is a lovely looking building exhibiting proudly the seafaring and industrial history of Dundee, its art and its most famous people. Then,, as the weather closed in again, we visited the Dundee Contemporary Arts (DCA) centre.

*^{The McManus Galleries, Dundee (And More Sun!)}*

At the DCA we saw an exhibition by Manuel Solano. He became blind after contracting AIDS and, incredibly, the exhibition contained just work that he had produced since losing his sight. Another interesting hour was passed out of the showers.

*^{Manuel Solano In The Big Spaces Of The Dundee Contemporary Art Gallery}*

While at the DCA we also saw Living, a new and very moving film starring Bill Nighy. He is perfect for the lead role and is supported by excellent acting all-round in a really lovely film. We both enjoyed it hugely.

It was great to have visited Dundee and to see a different Scottish city. The weather changed our plans of what to do there and the rain reinforced our impression that the car was king along the city’s coastline since we seemed to spend a lot of time getting wet waiting for the little green man lights and for the traffic to allow us to cross. But, given the tricky weather blowing in from the East, and given that LSW wasn’t fully operational, we did a lot of good things in Dundee.

*^{View From Our Dundee Premier Inn Room (When It Wasn’t Sunny!)}*

On our way back to Edinburgh via the coastal road around East Fife we had to take a couple of diversions to avoid flooding. We spotted the huge waves off the coast as we passed the famous golf course and lovely buildings of St Andrews and decided to stop at the fishing village of Crail on the easternmost coast of Fife to take a closer look. We parked and walked down pretty, narrow lanes to the harbour. As I rounded a corner to get a closer look at the breakers and take a souvenir picture, I was astounded to be instantaneously splattered by sea spray even though the sea was 40-50 yards away. It really was startling weather.

We drove on along the coast and stopped at a recommended coffee house in St Monans (The Giddy Gannet) where LSW managed half a scone. Then we pressed on and had lunch at The Ship Inn right on the coast in Elie where LSW watched me eat a tasty plate of fish and chips with all the trimmings. Then, with one of us rather more stuffed than the other, we set off for a final 36 hours or so in Edinburgh.

Remarkably given the pressures and events of the last few days, Eldest Son (ES) and his wife were entertaining again (with help from her Mum), this time to celebrate her Dad’s birthday. It was a lovely evening with, as usual, lovely food and a chance to meet one of ES’s new uncles-in-law and his wife. Gradually LSW and I are getting to know our newly extended family.

To round off a momentous and lovely week in Scotland, (lovely despite what viruses and the weather occasionally threw at us), we had a few hours with FG including a visit to the National Museum of Scotland. We had taken him there earlier in the year and he loved it again even though he was still recovering from his illness. I previously vowed to take him to this wonderful museum whenever possible when in Edinburgh and that vow stands; it is so exciting for him and, as he grows up, I think it will retain his interest (no pressure FG!)

A Wedding and a Birthday

November 27, 2022August 4, 2025 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

Amid much happiness, our Eldest Son (ES) and his partner were married a couple of weekends ago. Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I had a lovely time in Edinburgh celebrating this huge event with them. What made it extra special for us was that ES and his (now) wife pared down the events of the weekend to a very intimate affair. Everyone who took part was someone very close to the marrying couple. That meant that every conversation with everyone in attendance felt meaningful.

The Registry Office was a grand building with pleasantly decorated rooms and an overseer of the process who achieved the right balance of formality and relaxed bonhomie. First Grandchild (FG), was rather unwell but nonetheless, was well behaved, wasn’t sick on anyone’s dress and loved playing with the room’s long curtains. ES looked smart and the bride looked stunning. As they shared their home-made vows, my tears welled up; their personalisation of the exchange was really moving.

Later in the afternoon and well into the evening, a wedding reception was held at the married couple’s new flat. The flat looked great and was just the right size for a party of about 30 enthusiastic relatives and friends. A few of the latter were fellow new parents who brought contemporaries of FG which added to the lovely, informal conviviality. Everyone was very happy.

*^{Lovely Wedding Reception Table Layout In The Married Couple’s Flat}*

The mantelpieces and tables had been beautifully decorated and set out by ES’s new parents in law. The caterers knew what they were doing (they had been under close instruction from ES’s wife), the food was excellent, and the drinks and conversation flowed. FG was excited by the hubbub and rallied at the important moments to be giggling sweetness itself, despite his illness. The speeches were short and heartfelt and the intimacy of the event shone throughout. We loved it – not only the fact that ES was now married, but that he and his new wife (especially!) had organised what seemed to be an ideal way of doing it.

*^{First Grandchild (FG) Checking The Wedding Presents}*

On the following day, we refreshed with a sunny morning walk around the Royal Botanic Garden and then met up with a very small number of close relatives for a wonderful lunch at Timberyard. LSW and I had been there once before and had been very impressed by the food, decor and ambience. We were very impressed again. It was the centrepiece to another lovely day.

^{Walking In Sunny Royal Botanic Gardens, Edinburgh With Youngest And Middle Sons And Their Partners}

My Dad and sister went back to rest at their hotel. It had been marvellous that they had been able to come and they had made the most of their visit to Edinburgh by taking in a couple of art exhibitions as well as the wedding events. Meanwhile, LSW and I retreated to the Air BnB that we had rented for ourselves, our Middle and Youngest Son and their partners. There, we allowed our emotions to settle quietly in front of a second rate romantic comedy and assorted crisps. What a couple of days!

And then the fun went on! The Monday following the wedding was FG’s first birthday. Unfortunately FG was still unwell and relatively subdued but he enjoyed early use of some of the presents and a trip to one of the local playgrounds. Unlike him, we will remember his first birthday for ever.

*^{Wedding Cake Cleverly Converting To Birthday Cake (FG Loves Penguins!)}*

We left Edinburgh late that afternoon leaving ES and wife to ponder how to manage FG’s illness while both are holding down a job working from home on the back of little sleep. At that point we assumed that the conundrum they faced would be only for a day or two – it turned out to be another week. Oh, the joys of parenthood!

Meanwhile, LSW and I set off for Dunkeld on the River Tay, on the southern edge of the Highlands for rather more rest and relaxation than the newly married couple were going to get.

My Retirement Journey

I've Retired! What Next?

Family