Talk Club When I’m OK

April 23, 2026 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

Talk Club is a national mental health charity for men over 18 years of age. It was set up a few years ago by someone with a friend who had taken his own life, in part because he felt he had too few people to talk to about the things causing him anxiety. We live in a world where men tend not to spend a lot of time talking about their feelings. The aim of Talk Club is to help men improve their mental fitness by providing talking and listening groups that actively help men understand how they feel.

I am lucky that our little village of Horsley has a pub landlord who has cottoned on to this charity. He has taken the initiative to set up a weekly Talk Club in his pub along with a few of his chums who share the role of ‘captain’ for the meetings. I was lucky too that, about four years ago, a good friend in the village who was already familiar with this sort of group, persuaded me to attend this village’s instance of the nationwide network of meetings. I’ve been attending on a semi-regular basis ever since.

The group sessions follow a pattern which I outlined in a blog post shortly after I started attending. Each attendee is asked four questions in turn. The first and last question each attendee is asked is how are you feeling out of 10. Invariably scores tend to rise during the meeting for almost all participants – the process works in allowing us all to get things off our chests, feel listened to and feel a bit better.

Recently my scores have been particularly high and I have started to wonder why I continue to attend the Talk Club meetings. My knees and ankles have been less troublesome recently and, touch wood, my health generally has been in line with my increasing age but not a cause of anxiety. The onset of Spring has boosted my score (and that of other attendees) too.

Local Bluebells - Spring Unleashed — *^{Local Bluebells – Spring Unleashed}*

I’m also aware that I’m about double the age of most other attendees and my concerns – mortality, aches and pains and whether I’m going to manage to get my potatoes into the ground in good time – are very different from those of most others in the group who tend to worry about work, relationship breakdowns and looking after small children.

More Spring - A Crab Apple Tree In Our Garden At Peak Blossom — *^{More Spring – A Crab Apple Tree In Our Garden At Peak Blossom}*

Also, Easter at home with all our close family was a triumph for my well-being. It was just so lovely to have our sons, their partners and the grandchildren with us for quite a few days, the weather was good, the Easter Egg Hunt I had devised went well, and we all had lots of fun. Even amid the anticlimax of everyone leaving after Easter, the memories, helped by a plethora of video and photographs, are keeping me ebullient.

*^{Easter Egg Hunt With Maps This Year}*

Easter Fun

So, given my Talk Club meeting scores are so high, why attend? There are a few reasons.

Numbers attending each meeting vary from about eight down to three (or even on a couple of occasions, two). There is a need for attendance because otherwise there is an insufficient listening element. Participants need to disclose their feelings to others and so me just being there is valued. And I have seen how that listening helps; it has been exciting to see how some new joiners to our sessions have felt better progressively through their attendance.
One of the rounds of questions asks what we are grateful for. Historically, I, for one, haven’t spent enough time thinking about this. The Talk Club process forces that thinking and as the meeting progresses and others in the group talk about what they are grateful for, I am often prompted into thinking of additional reasons to feel grateful myself.
Another of the question rounds asks what we are going to do to improve our well-being in the next week. My answer usually fixes on a list of tasks rather than issues of diet, sleep and exercise which drive most other participants’ answers. But just sounding out the key actions to the group makes them more likely to get done.
My scores have been high recently but that hasn’t always been the case. I may be ‘ok’ now but when I’m not, at some point in the future, I will need the support of the Talk Club to help me. In that sense, attendance now feels like a bit of insurance for the future.
We have a laugh. Of course, not everyone feels good when they attend the meetings but usually someone will have an amusing story to lighten the mood. The meetings are confidential so these stories and other tales are not generally repeatable, but, in the moment, they are welcome.

I couldn’t attend Talk Club this week because my football team, Forest Green Rovers had a County Cup Final game and home football games take priority for me (and we won!). But I plan to be there the following week as usual. I’ll keep attending Talk Club while we continue to live in the village and the other members of the group also continue to see it as worthwhile.

I recommend Talk Club and other men’s groups like it to anyone over 18 especially if you are feeling down. I’d say that it is a valuable support in life whether you are feeling happy and relaxed or not.

Getting Back Into The Groove

April 1, 2026 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

We spent the majority of February in Edinburgh and most of March relaxing back into our routine back at home. That home-based groove is pretty nice though. The weather has been mixed – warm and cold, sunny and wet by turns. But we live in a lovely and relatively quiet part of the Cotswolds. When the weather has been good, we have enjoyed rural walks, local pubs and the start of Spring with all the bird song and new growth that brings.

*^{View Across Our Local Town: Nailsworth}*

We have also, courtesy of Jane’s Christmas present to me, renewed our membership of The Newt Gardens in Somerset. We paid our first visit of the year there a couple of weeks ago. We haven’t been for about four years and there have been some notable extensions to the structure of the huge garden space. The weather wasn’t great so we restricted our explorations to the areas already familiar to us and the new ‘Four Seasons Garden’; we saved the ‘Roman Villa Experience’ for another day.

*^{The New ‘Four Seasons Garden’; The Newt, Somerset}*

The garden is very impressive. The centrepiece remains the ‘Parabola’ the top half of which is home to over 300 apple tree varieties. The trees are trained onto trellises or architectural shapes. The attention to detail here, and elsewhere in the garden, is incredible.

*^{Upper Part Of ‘The Parabola’: The Newt}*

We stayed for lunch in the main restaurant and that too was, as on previous visits, very good. We had a great table with a view over the ‘Parabola’. Beyond that we could see the vegetable and fruit garden, the topiary towards the hotel and then, even further on, the orchards on the slopes to the south west. Next time, we will come when more of the planting is in flower and the weather is more conducive to a longer excursion around the property, but we enjoyed the first of our membership visits very much.

Back home, I have slotted back into the normal mix of walking, daily shopping, volunteering at the Food Bank and local school, and watching my football team, Forest Green Rovers, struggle to regain their early season form. On the cultural side, I have increased the pace of my reading of novels (slightly). I have enjoyed that even if it has been at the cost of catching up on the backlog of The Economist magazines that built up while we were in Edinburgh.

^{My First Attendance At A Forest Green Rovers Womens Team Game}

Also, I caught up with an old acquaintance from when he was involved in the local Climate Action Network who had, bravely and impressively, organized an exhibition of portraits of progressives and activists he had painted. Whilst I didn’t like many of them much, they were good likenesses and the reasons for choosing to paint them were explained well.

Jane and I also saw Salt House, a threesome folk band from Scotland and the North of England, at our local Ruskin Mill. We had heard a lot of their music in advance on Spotify and loved it. We often caught each other, before and after the gig, humming the melodies. The gig itself was lovely, intimate and beautifully done. I will renew my attention to the list of future performances at Ruskin Mill since the quality is almost always exceptional.

Other highlights have been involvement in celebrating Second Grandchild’s second birthday in Bristol. Given my love of football, I was encouraged to see that his presents included a small football goal and a child size football. (The football was branded Arsenal to reflect his father’s preference but Forest Green Rovers have merchandise too so watch out……). Plus, last weekend, we hosted a couple from London who have been close friends for decades; it was great to catch up, chat and to eat well at home, at The Crown in Minchinhampton and, especially, Juliet in Stroud.

*^{Local, Village View In Glorious Spring Sunshine}*

Now we are planning a big family Easter get together. Fortuitously, life – whether in Edinburgh or back home – is good.

Edinburgh Highlights: Eating, Drinking

March 3, 2026 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

Continuing the highlights of our month long stay in Edinburgh…… here the best of ways we found to sustain ourselves between our sightseeing.

Dinners

Restaurants in Edinburgh are worthy of a capital city; there is both high quality and diversity. The best are also very popular and we couldn’t get a suitable booking at a couple of the restaurants on our wish list. It seems from the evening restaurant experiences we did manage (in between more basic meals back at our rented accommodation) that the clientele is dominated by young professionals. It seems that either the cost-of-living crisis is a fiction for this group. Or perhaps they are spending their discretionary funds on the short-term pleasures of dining out rather than accumulating savings in the face of whatever jobs crisis Artificial Intelligence is promising to create for them.

Little Capo was my favourite evening dining experience. The food, especially the burrata, was excellent and our seating at the bar put us in the centre of a buzzing atmosphere. The service was excellent – friendly, attentive but not too quick.

A close second was a meal at Vinette. A tiny entrance led to a rather labyrinthine space where, again, the service was very good and at a very comfortable pace. Our table was somewhere between a corridor and a room and Jane had to spend the evening looking at a fridge of hanging beef which wasn’t ideal. However, the food was unusual (we didn’t choose the steaks) and very tasty.

Lunches

As we had when we visited Edinburgh for a month last year, we had lunch at The Port Of Leith Distillery. This held some nostalgia for us since, last year, coming to the bar in the distillery had been our first real outing together after Jane had broken her shoulder. It was interesting too to see the result of the demolition work we had a ring-side seat for last year. My lunch was excellent but Jane said hers was too tepid to be really enjoyable.

*^{View From Port of Leith Distillery: Last Year (Top) Versus This Year. Royal Yacht Britannia To The Right}*

Better for lunch and with an equally good view was Cafe Calton. This is on Calton Hill and is very popular with residents and tourists alike. We started with a shared, very tasty Scottish Rarebit and my chicken burger was very good with enough unusual touches to raise it above the ordinary. The efficient, smiling staff seemed to be having a good time and so did we.

I know I wanted to avoid a list but I have to mention Sunday lunches at Brown’s of Leith. This has only been open for a few months but it is already hugely popular. It was perfect for informal lunch with a large canteen style dining area with three or four pop-up type food and drink providers around the edge including seafood and pizza. We went twice and I will go again next time we are up.

Coffee and Wine

In my mind, Smith & Gertrude just trumped our old favourites from previous Edinburgh visits: Cairngorm, Toast and Spry Wine Bar and Ante Coffee. I thought that Ante had the best coffee but they gave it to me in a cup with no handle so I couldn’t drink it easily while it was as hot as I like without burning my fingers; style over function in my view.

Smith and Gertrude with its turntable playing classic vinyl, lovely cheese and wine selection. On one day, we dived in there as it opened at 4pm to have a swift glass of wine before picking up FG from nursery. The frisson of mischievousness on our part from being 10 minutes later than usual in picking him up was memorable.

Pubs

One of our longer walks took us through the residential area of Trinity which is full of 18^th and 19^th century villas and solidly built terraced houses. Just beyond, was the Firth of Forth and The Starbank Inn which provided a view of the sea and good food and beer.

The Firth of Forth Outside The Starbank Inn. Gloomy Day But Nice To See The Sea! — *^{The Firth of Forth Outside The Starbank Inn. Rather A Gloomy Day But Nice To See The Sea!}*

Although it was just over the road from where we were staying, we only managed to get into Teuchters Bar & Bunker, the scene of my rather unfortunate seating failure during last year’s visit, once.

Because Teuchters majors on the rugby I called upon the outstanding knowledge of Eldest Son’s parents-in-law for suggestions for a venue to watch an Arsenal football game with Youngest Son (he’s a big Arsenal fan) on a rainy Sunday night. They came up with Platform 5 which turned out to be perfect; a sports bar with a telly showing the Arsenal game in a sea of screens showing the (Glasgow) Rangers versus (Edinburgh) Hearts game in front of dozens of energised Scottish football fans. The atmosphere was great, the cheering was raucous, broken glass was on the floor, the bar staff were working flat out and Arsenal won (but Hearts lost); great evening!

As usual, Edinburgh had much to offer. There is still a lot that we have left to do there – I’ve still not been to a music concert there for example. We love it.

*^{Sunset Over Edinburgh And The End Of Our Stay}*

Edinburgh Highlights: Viewing

March 1, 2026 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

We achieved so much in our month in Edinburgh and there seemed to be something memorable every day. The weather was grey and drizzly for most of the first three weeks, we both caught colds (the only apparent downside of visiting grandchildren) and I had a nasty recurrence of tinnitus for a few days. But my joints behaved, we had a nice place to stay and had a great time.

Listing all that we did will turn into a long list so, below, I’ll focus on the best and most pleasurable….. Sights seen first and then eating and drinking….

Art Galleries

As usual, we visited several private and public art galleries. Best for me were the several different exhibitions that came and went while during our month-long stay at the Scottish National Gallery. As last year, perhaps the best of these were the two substantial exhibitions of the best works by members of the Royal Scottish Academy. The first was for work of all types and the second focused on watercolours.

Various Works At The Royal Academy Show, Scottish National Gallery — *^{Various Works At The Royal Academy Show, Scottish National}*

*^{Huge Variety Of Watercolours from Royal Academicians At The Scottish National Galley Show}*

Alongside these there were two other exhibitions in the National Gallery. One celebrated the 200^th year of the Academy and was called Origin Stories. It showed works throughout the last two centuries and illustrated how members of the Academy (‘academicians’) supported, taught, mentored and inspired each other through a network of artistic relationships. The second was a small exhibition of Modern Miniatures – both small sculptures and paintings. All of this was very good to see.

'Modern Miniatures' At The Scottish National Gallery — *^{‘Modern Miniatures’ At The Scottish National Gallery}*

Elsewhere the Modern One was showing its rehanging of its permanent collection. Also, the City Art Centre was as excellent as usual with an exhibition of Scottish Portraiture alongside its permanent collection.

Works Qt Modern One Including One From A New Peter Doig Exhibition (Top Left) — *^{Recently Re-hung Works At Modern One And One From A New Peter Doig Exhibition (Top Left)}*

*^{Pictures At The City Arts Gallery (Including By Joan Eardley and John Bellany)}*

……And I always love visiting the National Portrait Gallery where the great entrance hall is so impressive.

*^{Entrance Hall Of The Scottish National Portrait Gallery}*

Here, this visit, there was a fascinating exhibition of photographic art by Alfred Buckham (‘Daredevil Photographer’) who, in the first half of the 20^th century, created aerial pictures from three negatives – one of a plane, one (or sometimes more) of clouds and one of a city or landscape taken from his own plane. He travelled the world as a somewhat larger-than-life Englishman, clearly had a great sense of humour, and produced some remarkable images.

Edinburgh BY Alfred Buckham — *^{Edinburgh By Alfred Buckham}*

Other Exhibitions

Dovecot Studios was also well worth visiting as we usually do. First, we saw an exhibition along the viewing balcony of tapestries made at the studios. I thought some of these were very good to look at and almost all were impressive in some way.

*^{The Dovecot Studio And Some Of The Tapestries On The Balcony}*

Downstairs we saw a new exhibition: The Biba Story: 1964–1975. Biba fashion rather passed me by at the time. Regardless, the exhibition was well laid out and interesting.

*^{The Biba Exhibition At Dovecot Studios}*

The exhibits conveyed the distinctive Biba style, the development of the brand was fascinating, and the stores that sold the goods were clearly impressive. At the end, my questions about textile sourcing and what the accessories looked like were largely answered but I was left unclear about why the whole enterprise came to an abrupt end.

On a different scale, we saw a small exhibition of textiles and weaving by Lynda Graham at Mote102 Jane keeps an eye on this tiny gallery and we have visited before. It’s a intimate space with undecorated, rough walls that is perfect for the types of exhibitions Mote102 present. Indeed, the walls are almost as interesting as the art.

Films

The Everyman Cinema is a luxury with big sofas and the option to buy drinks and food from them. We saw and, overall, enjoyed Marty Supreme. Timothy Chalamet was very good but, as Jane said afterwards, the film has so much action that it felt like being hit around the head with a rolled-up newspaper for two and a half hours.

We also saw and enjoyed Hamnet. I especially enjoyed the last 20 minutes of Hamnet and can understand why Jessie Buckley has won so many awards for her performance.

I also went with Eldest Son to see the very different 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple at the Everyman Cinema. It was impressive throughout; the music and acting are top notch (especially Ralph Fiennes). This was my best cinematic experience overall while in Edinburgh; especially so since Eldest Son, who is a huge fan of the whole 28 series, had kindly shown me the prequel on his laptop/telly the previous day so that I was up to date.

Day Trips

We only left Edinburgh/Leith twice once to visit Stirling and the other time to visit Rosslyn Chapel.

There was a limited amount to see in Stirling but the train ride there was smooth and Stirling Castle is very impressively located, presented and preserved. It was made ornate and grand by James V as a way of underlining his status (some might say narcissism). The statues and rooms remain majestic.

*^{Inner Royal Chambers And The Chapel (Bottom Right), Stirling Castle}*

Our visit benefitted from gorgeous sunny weather and the views from the hill top on which it was built were of snowy mountains and wide river valleys. The history of the castle, its architecture and rooms were all well explained and maybe we will revisit it one day with a grandchild or two in tow since the presentations were very child-friendly. My lasting memories though, will be of the 360-degree panoramas available from the castle site and the neighbouring cemetery.

Our visit to Rosslyn Chapel did not benefit from sunny weather but it was an unexpectedly impressive building and, again, its history, architecture and specific features were well explained.

It seems that Victorian renovation efforts, following a long period of disrepair after the Reformation and attacks by Thomas Cromwell in 1650, were rather ill conceived. Severe problems with damp remain. However, and despite the building only being about half of what was originally intended by the owning St Clair family, it is a gothic marvel. The carving throughout the chapel is remarkable and the stories surrounding it – including those amplified by Dan Brown in his famous book ‘The Da Vinci Code’ – are absorbing.

Again, I can imagine revisiting the Chapel in the future with grandchildren but on a drier, sunnier day so that we can appreciate the views and walk through the adjoining woodland rather more.

Best Walk

The best walks were with First Grandchild (FG) between our rented mews house or FG’s nursery and his home. Sometimes he sang, sometimes he ran or skipped, and sometimes he showed us the sights of Edinburgh from his perspective. We particularly enjoyed him pointing out the absent parts of clothes dummies in the windows of fashion shops – some didn’t have feet, some lacked arms and all were missing their faces. FG is almost constantly amusing as he burns off energy and reveals his vivid imagination.

I walked along the Water of Leith and through the Royal Botanic Gardens many times and walking around of the Georgian architecture West End and New Town is endlessly satisfying.

*^{Barely Spring Views In The Royal Botanic Gardens, Edinburgh}*

However, my favourite walk without FG during our month in Edinburgh was along the Union Canal. This showed me once industrial parts of Edinburgh I’d not seen before and the Slateford Aqueduct over the Water of Leith was an unexpected and impressive sight. The Water of Leith Visitor Centre nearby wasn’t open but I’ll be back.

Indeed, I am already looking forward to our next visit to the sights of Edinburgh.

Edinburgh Family Plus

February 26, 2026 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

We both understand how lucky we are to see our sons grow up and become fathers, and even luckier to have good relationships with them and their partners so we can see grandchildren. Jane’s father didn’t live quite long enough to meet me, let alone see all that has followed.

As last year, we spent a month in Edinburgh to spend time in a city we love and to see our growing family there. Coincidentally (since we had made the rental booking well over 9 months before), our visit started a day after the birth of a Third Grandchild (TG) in Edinburgh. Like last year, our Bristol family were able to join us for one of the weekends. Plus, this year, our Youngest Son (YS) and his wife were also able to visit for a weekend; last year a storm grounded them in Belfast.

*^{Dean Village, Edinburgh From Dean Bridge}*

It was marvellous to have all our immediate descendant family in Edinburgh over the period of a month to welcome TG into the world. Her parents seem to be coping with the new arrival very well and TG is a gorgeous little granddaughter.

First Grandchild (FG) loves his new sister. We picked FG up from pre-school a few times. It was lovely to hear him chat about his day on the way and then to see that his first act upon arriving home was to give his sister a big, loving hug and kiss. He seems so proud of her.

First Grandchild So Proud Of His New Sister — *^{First Grandchild, So Proud Of His New Sister}*

FG also loves Second Grandchild (SG) from Bristol. FG was generous to his cousin with his toys and the two of them played well together. SG was very excited by the whole experience of travelling to Edinburgh, staying with us and seeing his cousins. It all warmed our hearts.

That YS and his wife could make it over from Belfast for a couple of days was unexpected because their new business had only been launched a week before. Both have been heavily involved in securing grants, harassing slow, overstretched builders, chasing Council planning and building regulations officers, pressing the landlord for services, securing materials and preparing the media for the launch. Although they have been consistently positive, the last few months have undoubtably been stressful for them.

However, the launch of Nellie Studio, a very smart osteopathy and Pilates studio (take a look at the website!), has been a great success and they felt able to join us and admire TG. We have watched the hard work and determination needed to get the business established with a degree of anxiety and an inability to help much. However, the space they have constructed looks great, teachers and customers seem very happy, and we now expect to see the business grow amid a bit of fun. We certainly had fun with them in Edinburgh.

Youngest Son's Wife's New Osteopathy and Pilates Business — *^{Youngest Son’s Wife’s New Osteopathy and Pilates Business}*

As ever, we had a great time in Edinburgh and that time cemented in our minds how lucky we are to have lived long enough to meet the people our sons live their lives with, and the lovely children they have produced with them.

Museums: Cheltenham and Bristol

February 2, 2026 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

We are currently in Edinburgh for the second of our annual, month-long, winter stays to continue to build our affinity with the city and, this time, spend some time with a new addition to our Edinburgh family. In the days before we left for Edinburgh and all the excitement there, I visited two museums – in Cheltenham and in Bristol.

*^{Winter Near Our Home – But With Snowdrops Emerging}*

I demonstrated a hint of senility recently as I bought the wrong trousers online. That error led me to a rare visit to Cheltenham via foot, bus and train. There, I could exchange the trousers face to face rather than go through another online and postal exchange which I would probably have messed up. Having completed the exchange, and given I was under no time pressure, I thought I would take a look at the The Wilson Museum which I only became aware of through a recent advert in our local culture listings.

The museum is in a smart modern building but was founded over 100 years ago around the collection of the Wilson Family including Antarctic explorer, Edward Wilson. The museum has undergone some recent restorations and re-organisations and has a pleasant café, educational play areas for children and a few good-sized rooms for permanent and temporary exhibitions of art and artifacts. Given how good and wholesome it was, I felt negligent in not having visited before.

The highlight was a room containing art and furniture from the Arts and Crafts movement. I’ve loved seeing exhibitions of work of this type in the past in London (and especially the William Morris Museum and Thomas Carlyle’s House which I had visited in August and September 2019). What I hadn’t fully appreciated until now was how important the Cotswolds were as a locus of the energy and talent that drove the movement. Many of the main protagonists such as Ernest Gimson, the Barnsley brothers and William and Eve Simmonds, lived in villages and homes we have walked though or past many times in recent years.

*^{Arts And Crafts At The Wilson Museum, Cheltenham}*

The exhibition was well laid out and had a good combination of very high-quality luxury pieces and very plain but beautifully designed furniture that still bore the hall marks of the movement but was for families with limited means. The latter showed how the movement aimed to bring great design and well-made things to the working population in the face of increasing industrialization and mass production.

Then, on the day before our trip to Edinburgh, Jane and I stepped up to manage Second Grandchild’s (SG’s) trip in and out of his nursery while his parents attended a funeral and worked in London. Seeing SG is always fun and it was interesting visiting his nursery for drop off and pick up and lovely to see him waving us off so happily.

In between, I walked into the centre of Bristol while Jane returned home to get a haircut. My primary aim was the 2026 iteration of the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition which was on tour from its home in the Natural History Museum in London and on show at Bristol Museum & Art Gallery.

I love this competition and exhibition and have seen it many times in London. It was a treat to be able to weave this year’s viewing seamlessly into my local schedule of retired life while helping Second Son and his partner. Plus, there was the bonus of visiting another relatively local museum for the first time.

The Photographer of the Year exhibition didn’t disappoint. Unfortunately perhaps, my favourite photos were the very first I saw. These were aerial drone shots of the tundra by Alexey Kharitanov that contained incredible colour. The remainder of my wander around the exhibition was not exactly anticlimactic but many of the animal shots were, maybe inevitably, rather similar in style to those from previous years and, so, less memorable. One excellent thing though is that all the exhibition is available online and so there was no need to fiddle around with picture taking of the best.

'Taiga Tapestry' By Alexey Kharatanov — *^{‘Taiga Tapestry’ By Alexey Kharitanov}*

The rest of the museum had interesting rooms, exhibiting a wide range of art since Medieval times, a large natural history collection, and an exhibition demonstrating the long history of ceramic production in Bristol before it was overtaken by The Potteries in Staffordshire. I saved some areas for another time and look forward to an opportunity to show SG the excellent collection of stuffed native birds and animals.

Bristol Ceramics — *^{Bristol-Made Ceramics, Bristol Museum}*

From the museum I wandered towards the city centre and had a ‘smashed’ burger from a street food vendor (Boigers) who do occasional pop-ups at our local village pub. It was another first for me and the burger was pretty tasty though, I suspect, nutrition-light.

My final trip element before heading back to pick up SG, was a brief visit to Bristol Cathedral. This wasn’t a first time visit but it has been over a decade since my last one which I snuck in while working briefly in Bristol.

*^{Bristol Cathedral From The Old Monastery Garden}*

It is, of course an impressive building. A helpful and patient gentleman gave me a summary of the history. He outlined how the building has almost continuously evolved over the last 1,000 years and especially since it was taken apart by Henry VIII as he closed the Augustine Monastery that had been at the cathedral’s heart. I had a very pleasant wander around and was impressed with the way the light and airy nave had been extended so sympathetically in the late 19th century to echo the Medieval parts of the building.

Jane and I had a last lovely little dose of SG while starting to receive more photos of the arrival of Third Grandchild in Edinburgh. What a full and exciting day it had been. More excitement to follow!

*^{Early Glimpse Of The New Arrival in Edinburgh}*

Betwixtmas in Belfast

January 4, 2026 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

The period between Christmas Day and New Years Eve appears to have a new name (new for me, anyway): Betwixtmas. These few days at the end of December can feel like a strange little lull. Christmas Day is such a climax of social interaction, celebration, eating and drinking. Then, although we no longer stay up to see the New Year in, the advent of a New Year is another cause for celebration and new hope. The days in between often feel calm but can also feel like filler.

Until quite late in my career, I usually drifted into work or ‘worked from home’ to get peripheral tasks done without using up precious holiday allowances. Because so many colleagues were out of the office for the holiday period, I could often get a surprising amount done. Later, I tended to take time off to chill out after Christmas away from London. Now I’m retired, there are even more options to relax into Betwixtmas.

This year we were lucky enough to be able to spend Betwixtmas in Belfast with Youngest Son (YS) and his wife. For us this year, Betwixtmas was busy and bright – certainly not ‘filler’. Our Belfast trip followed our first Boxing Day for nearly 40 years without any offspring. The uniqueness of that was tempered by a sunny walk, a very good lunch at a local and recently expanded pub (The Old Fleece), a brief visit to nearby friends and then an early night.

The weather in Belfast was very good for the time of year and the logistics of travel to get there worked. Once we were in Belfast, we had a really relaxed and great time.

^{Views From The Metropolitan Arts Centre, Belfast}

YS and his wife are a brilliant team. They are currently setting up a new osteopathy and Pilates business called Nellie Studio. This will be on a floor of a Victorian warehouse in East Belfast that they are renovating. They have grappled with the treacle of having to obtain planning permission and building regulations control for the listed building and are now pressing the letting agent and builders to get the space ready for income generating osteopathy treatments and Pilates workouts. Observing the way they are working together to achieve all of this was inspiring.

Billie Studio's Osteopathay Treatment Room Taking Shape — Screenshot

^{Billie Studio’s Osteopathy Treatment Room Taking Shape}

In between dashing across Belfast to source curtain poles and extra wood flooring, while we babysat their dog, YS and his wife entertained us with films and sport in their cosy lounge, trips to excellent restaurants and walks in surprisingly sunny weather. For me, the only blemish to Betwixtmas was that Forest Green Rovers (the football team I support rather too obsessively) failed to win either of the televised games in the period.

*^{Dog (Reggie) Sitting With A Very Relaxed Dog}*

Belfast is a significantly smaller city than Bristol or Edinburgh where our other sons live. However, it is developing quickly as the Northern Ireland Troubles gradually recede into history. Young entrepreneurs appear to be establishing new independent businesses and there is already a busy and excellent café, restaurant and bar scene. There are far fewer of these than in, say, Edinburgh; but how many does one need? Belfast has enough and is developing further between each of our visits.

Breakfasts are particularly well done. Cultura again stood out for me as the most outstanding breakfast but we also had a great brunch at DRIP and the best coffee was at Established which has long been one of our favourite breakfast haunts.

On an outing to the south of Belfast, we visited Fodder in the Woods for a burger lunch and then wandered around the associated gift and food shops and Finnebrogue Woods. It seems that, well beyond Belfast, young businesses are starting up everywhere.

*^{Fodder In The Woods And Finnebrogue Loch}*

We also had a treat of a dinner at the new Capparelli at the Mill restaurant that has been established by one of Yotam Ottolenghi’s ex-chefs. It is in a lovely building that has been expanded imaginatively and lovingly. The service and food were outstanding and I can’t wait to go again.

Capparelli Mill — *^{The Approach To Capparelli At The Mill}*

We ate very well throughout our stay. YS, his wife and her mother all produced great home cooking for us on successive evenings. We also visited a couple of pubs that we hadn’t been to before (The Jeggy Nettle, which had a lovely open fire, and Northern Lights, which had a range of twenty craft beers of the type I like). YS also gave us the first margaritas we could recall drinking – complete with salt around the top of the glass – all very innovative and special for us!

'Archer Fam' Chicken Pie By YS's Wife - Delicious! — *^{‘Archer Fam’ Chicken Pie By YS’s Wife – Delicious!}*

We squeezed some culture and some walks into the schedule. As on previous Belfast visits we strolled through the Botanic Gardens to the Ulster Museum.

Here, the exhibition on the origin and history of The Troubles is well put together and informative. We had seen this before but there is too much to absorb in any one visit and this time I focused on the videos spelling out origins of The Troubles. We have seen the excellent, recent TV series Say Nothing, Trespasses and (most of) Once Upon a Time in Northern Ireland and the Ulster Museum provided another dimension to our understanding of the issues and the way they have been, at least partially, resolved.

*_{Collection OF Ceramics By Local Artists At The Ulster Museum}*

On our last morning, we popped into the Metropolitan Arts Centre (MAC) where there were exhibitions by William McKeown, Niamh Seana Meehan, Marie Hanlon & Rhona Clarke. Each one was diverting in their diverse ways and the building itself is interesting. I’m sure we will visit the Ulster Museum and the MAC again during future Belfast trips.

*^{Sea Skin By Niamh Seana Meehan At MAC}*

So, Betwixtmas was very successful for us this year. It came following a wonderful Christmas Day with Second Grandchild (SG), Middle Son (MS), his fiancée and her mother in Bristol. MS treated us to not only brunch but then a very tasty Christmas dinner of chicken, ham, pigs in blankets, stuffing and about six vegetable side dishes – my plate near overfloweth!

MS Was So Impressively In Control OF Chrismas Lunch (Ably Supported BY His Sous Chefs) That He Was Able To Take Us For a Walk Through St Werburghs, A Very Bohemian Part Of Bristol — ^{MS Was So Impressively In Control Of Christmas Lunch (Ably Supported By His Sous Chefs) That He Was Able To Take Us For a Walk Through St Werburghs, A Very Bohemian Part Of Bristol With Gaudi-esque Buildings}

Betwixtmas ends with New Year’s Eve. As we move past New Years Day and into the early days of the new year, there is a chance to think about hopes and resolutions for 2026. Maybe I’ll write about those New Year Resolutions later this month if I can sustain actually doing them for that long. Meanwhile, Happy New Year to all!

Great As It Is To Travel Away From Home, It Is Always Good To Come Back - Ruskin Mill In Winter Sun — ^{Great As It Is To Travel Away From Home, It Is Always Good To Come Back – Ruskin Mill In Winter Sun}

I Do Like A Plan!

December 18, 2025 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

One of the things that occasionally frustrates Jane, my wife, is how I love to stick to routines. I’m not good with the unpredictable and the unexpected. Surprise visitors, sudden changes to imminent diary dates, unbidden moves of items from one storage location to another, furniture moves, unnecessary changes to mobile phone features; all tend to cause me more anxiety than they should, especially as they are trivial first-world problems and my wife loves them all.

I think that my craving for plans to achieve calm routines is why my career went best when I was in operational information technology. There, the reliability of day-to-day computer services is critical. Having computer services working smoothly day after day was a key aim – not least because running computer services is cheaper that way. Changes had to be managed very carefully and if an anomaly happened then all efforts were made to ensure they didn’t happen again. Plans and routine were lovely then and I still hanker for them.

Fortunately, especially since my retirement, my wife jolts me out of this way of being so I am forced to stay on my toes. She will be the one to suggest that we go to a different pub for our usual Sunday pint and crossword. She will change the drawer contents around in the kitchen so I can’t find anything for a few days. She will poke me into holidays and outings. I think I am better at embracing, and even instigating, change than before – for example, my cooking skills and bravery are vastly improved from a few years ago – but it is my wife who tends to really try new things.

Of course, external events also push me off my routine and disrupt our plans. COVID almost derailed our family Christmas in 2020 and it did ultimately erase our plans to walk the North Devon/Cornwall Coastal Path earlier that year. The weather has also intervened to prevent or near-ruin other holidays in the past.

*^{Opening The Bedroom Blinds To The Sort Of Winter Sunrise And Weather I Like!}*

Increasingly too, as I get older, I’m conscious that health issues can mess up the best laid plans and prevent implementation of my normal routines. For example, I hate it when an arthritic joint prevents me from walking comfortably into town to get the newspaper and daily shopping. Last month, the blow up of my ankle problem took me off my feet for a few days and this month, a bout of orbital cellulitis (an infection of the tissue around the eyes) did the same. Anyone would be annoyed at these unplanned health issues but I feel my anxiety about them is amplified somehow by my feeling of missing out on my usual pattern of life.

Those ‘outages’, as we called computer service failures in my working life, help me appreciate the days when I can just get on with the routine and think about plans relatively proactively and calmly. ‘Seize the day’ as Jane often tells me. I need to do that more.

The bones of our plans for Christmas and the New Year are pretty much in place and, while weather and health may, of course, disrupt them, I’m very happy with what is in store. We kick off with carols in a local church then dinner at ours with Jane’s siblings. Then Christmas Day will be with Second Grandchild (SG), his parents and his other grandparent. SG is a very happy little boy by nature and I can imagine he is going to be beside himself with Christmas cheer – while not yet fully understanding many of the related concepts.

Boxing Day will be just Jane and I – for the first time ever, I think, we will be on our own. I am hoping for a sunny, crisp, wintery day and a long walk to a local pub for a leisurely lunch.

*^{Winter Sunset At Ruskin Mill (Jane’s Photo)}*

Then we are off to Belfast to see Youngest Son and his wife. To round out the family tour, we are then in Edinburgh for four weeks during which another Scottish grandchild should arrive.

We were last in Edinburgh for First Grandchild’s (FG) fourth birthday. As usual, we had a great time as we mixed family socials with art and nature. Eldest Son and his wife always provide amazing hospitality and it was lovely to see how FG had developed since we last saw him in the summer. His sense of fun combined with his determination and focus on detail were brought out by some of the presents he got for his birthday. It is clear that he is going to love ‘LEGO®’!

The Water Of Leith - Very Full During Our November Visit to Edinburgh — *^{The Water Of Leith – Very Full During Our November Visit to Edinburgh}*

The arrival of FG’s new sibling in January is going to colour, enliven and warm our visit next year. We had hoped to repeat what we did early in 2025 (without, this time, Jane breaking her shoulder!) but the flat we had rented then and booked for this visit was unexpectedly withdrawn from Airbnb last week – a very irritating imposed change of plan!

We have rebooked elsewhere (inevitably at a higher cost….) and are looking forward to our time in Edinburgh enormously. We just need to complete the plans for our schedule of trips, restaurants and art intake for the time we are there. I do like a plan!

Reading Not Walking

November 12, 2025 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

Since retiring, I have loved spending time walking around our local area. I have done so every day when we haven’t been away from home. Generally, I will walk into town in the morning for the newspaper and daily shopping. Then I will often venture out for another walk in the afternoon.

On Tuesdays I will usually walk into Stroud to work at the Food Bank and, if there is a mid-week home game at Forest Green Rovers Football Club, will also walk to and from that. Those days see me doing almost 30,000 steps. On average, I have managed (often quite hilly) 15,000 steps a day since retiring. That, alongside some gardening, constitutes my main exercise.

*^{Autumn Walk. Ledgemore Bottom, Horsley, Gloucestershire}*

We are lucky that a plethora of footpaths in the area provides a large variety of routes to take to the shops or to the football ground or just as extra excursions through local fields and woods. It is particularly fortunate that Ruskin Mill College allows pedestrian access through their landscaped grounds between our village and Nailsworth, the nearest town. Further variety is provided by the seasons and this walk is especially uplifting at the moment as the trees turn to autumnal brown, yellow and red.

*^{Ruskin Mill College Grounds. Pretty Even In Autumn Rain}*

But all this walking takes up time. It’s time well spent for me; I love the outdoors, being in nature and happening to bump into friends on the way. I’ve enjoyed walking so much that, until this week, I hadn’t really thought about this consumption of time and what else I could do with the few hours a day I have spent walking.

What triggered me thinking about this time was a big flare up of a problem I have had for several months – off and on – with one of my ankles. I was most of the way to my weekly stint at the Stroud Food Bank when my ankle seized up. I pressed on and the ankle eased up a bit but then got a lot more painful. I bumbled my way through the shift, got Jane to pick me up afterwards and then spent 10 hours moaning and groaning about the pain (I’m not good with pain…)

I spent the next few days avoiding much movement. There was no thought of any substantial walking while my ankle settled down and, suddenly, I had several more hours to fill. I started reading.

*^{Walking Going Of A Cliff Edge (And A Careful Recovery Since)}*

I got up to date with a hardcopy of The Economist which Middle Son gets for me (very generously) every week on the back of his digital subscription. For the first time I could remember, my digesting of the content got ahead of publication and I was willing the next edition to arrive early. I read The Guardian daily from front to back (I still prefer hard copy; old habits die hard). And then I picked up the excellent novel (Long Island by Colm Toibin) I have been reading very slowly for weeks and finished it in a couple of days.

I ordered two more books and have started one at a pace unheard of before my ankle forced me to sit on the sofa rather more. I’ve remembered how much I like a good book and, even if my ankle recovers fully, I’m going to walk a bit less and read a lot more. That feels like a particularly attractive option as winter approaches, the days get shorter and the weather becomes less inviting.

*^{Batsford Arboretum, North Cotswolds}*

Of course, in between the routine walking over the last few weeks and before the ankle blow-up, there have been other highlights. On one sunny day recently, we went out to Batsford Arboretum in the North Cotswolds. Not surprisingly given the time of year and the weather, the arboretum was popular and some areas were quite crowded. Nonetheless, it is wonderful at this time of year. The mature trees were full of beautiful autumn shades and there were surprisingly big vistas across Oxfordshire and Wiltshire.

Batsford House can be seen from the arboretum but is not open to the public. However, within the grounds of the main house is a pleasant church, a museum of old gardening implements and a busy garden centre. We visited each only briefly and left for worthy, organic, vegetarian lunch at Abbey Home Farm on the way home.

*Batsford Arboretum Garden Implements Museum*

Batsford Church — *Batsford Arboretum Garden Implements Museum*

Two other memorable but more local events during the last few weeks have been a Diwali celebration in our local church and a local concert. The Diwali celebration was a second excuse in recent months to get dressed up in the Indian clothing we bought for a wedding of a friend in India almost a decade ago. It was a joyful event with people of all ages learning and performing Gujarati stick dancing, good music, drink and food, and a lot of local chatter. It is wonderful that we have people in such a small community prepared to organise such involving events.

The gig we went to was by This Is The Kit who we have seen before. They were supported by a band called Small Plant. They were perfect for a slightly out-there venue like the Goods Shed in a rather bohemian town like Stroud. Their first two songs were about propagating seedlings and making sourdough bread. They were unusual but we were pleased when they gave way to This is The Kit.

This Is The Kit Headlining At The Goods Shed, Stroud — *Small Plant At The Goods Shed, Stroud*

I really love This is The Kit’s music and, despite the lead guitar being occasionally a little over-dominant, they were, again, very good to watch and hear. Kate Stables, who leads the band, is a very personable and extremely talented musician. I was humming the tunes for days afterwards. Now I’m spending more time on the sofa, I can listen to them at home a little more too.

Art in Bilbao

October 29, 2025 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

The attraction of the Guggenheim Bilbao Museum was the main reason for us choosing to visit Bilbao. It is certainly the main tourist magnet in the city and a centrepiece that dominates views downstream from the Old Town and from the slopes to the north of the city. We visited it straight after breakfast on our first day and, after a quick wander around the amazing building, were ready for entry at opening time.

Fortuitously and a little randomly, we went straight to the top floor with a plan of working our way down. That avoided the initial rush of visitors and enabled us to visit Yayoi Kusama’s ‘Infinity Mirrored Room’ before any queue had built up. Jane knew what to expect but I didn’t and when we got inside the room containing the work, I was taken aback. Unfortunately, I then spent more time posing for a picture of the two of us in the mirrors than understanding what I was looking at before we were ushered out with our visiting time having expired. Our visit made for an interesting photo though….

After that rather helter-skelter experience, we were able to take our time perusing the top floor. It became clear that some of the permanent collection was not on show at this time. While that was disappointing, there was plenty to see.

*^{Views From Inside, And Of The Inside, Of The Guggenheim}*

Much of the space on the first floor was taken up by an exhibition custom-made for the Guggenheim by American artist Barbara Kruger called ‘Another day. Another night’. This was dominated by multiple words and phrases stuck to the walls, ceilings and floors. These were in Spanish (not unreasonably given we were in Spain!) so I absorbed the overall effect rather than the meanings. Elsewhere there were video artworks that probed the ambiguity of word meanings and one of these was a rather timely and captivating analysis of the words (and their imagined alternatives) in the US Constitution.

Another temporary exhibition by Sky Hopinka called ‘No Power’ was also a series of videos but I confess I didn’t stay to the end.

Better, I thought, were the large spaces devoted to variety of artists’ works from the permanent collection though none really gripped me. The flower sculpture, ‘Puppy’ by Jeff Koons at the entrance to the Guggenheim was undergoing renovation but another of his works was inside alongside art by Jean-Michel Basquiat and a number of artists I hadn’t heard of before. There was also a typically large painting by Anselm Kiefer who is one of my favourite artists (though this one was a rather dull compared to others I have previously enjoyed).

Familiar Territory - Anselm Kiefer's The Paths Of World Wisdom' — *^{Familiar Territory – Anselm Kiefer’s ‘The Paths Of World Wisdom’}*

The best exhibit for me was the huge composite sculpture by Richard Serra called ‘The Matter of Time’. It occupies a vast dedicated space on the ground floor of the Guggenheim and was great fun to walk through and around. The balcony above provided an opportunity to take in the scale and entirety of the work while close inspection of the surfaces of the sculpture showed fascinating differences on colour and texture of the Corten (or weathered) steel of which it is made. It’s a highly memorable aspect of the Guggenheim.

As we emerged from the Guggenheim, we experienced one of the periodic ‘fog sculptures’ designed by Fujiko Nakaya. For a few minutes, the water and promenade next to the museum fills with a mist. Walking through this is an interesting experience and it creates some ghostly views of the museum and its surrounds.

*^{Fujiko Nakaya Fog Sculpture At The Guggenheim}*

We then walked along the river bank past one of Louise Bourgeois’s Spiders (see below) and made our way to the Bilbao Fine Arts Museum.

This gallery has a lovely Art Deco façade which appeared to be undergoing some restoration. Inside, all was peaceful and spacious and I really enjoyed the visit.

The entrance hall has a wide variety of work which, most interestingly, contained Richard Serra’s model for ‘The Matter of Time’ sculpture we had just seen in the Guggenheim. It was a little weird to see the same work we had just experienced in the Guggenheim on such a smaller scale.

Bilbao Fine Arts Museum Including The Model Of 'The Matter Of Time' By Richard Serra — *^{Bilbao Fine Arts Museum Including The Model Of ‘The Matter Of Time’ By Richard Serra}*

The highlight of the Fine Art Museum was a large exhibition of work by Georg Baselitz, a German artist. I had only vaguely heard of him before; indeed, I had seen and liked a couple of his works that we had seen earlier in the day in the Guggenheim. Here was a very large collection of his portraits.

*^{Paintings By Georg Baselitz, Bilbao Fine Arts Museum}*

These were mainly of people portrayed either upside down or on their side. Many appeared as figures akin to skeletons. Some had been painted while a disabled Baselitz scooted across the canvas in his wheelchair thereby creating strange tyre track markings across the canvas. This was initially all a bit disorienting – I think that was Baselitz’s objective – but as we walked from huge room to huge room, I got in tune with his paintings and really enjoyed the collective feel of them.

As we left the museum with our culture fix complete, and still two whole days in sunny Bilbao to go, we felt very satisfied with our choice of Bilbao as a city to visit.

My Retirement Journey

I've Retired! What Next?