Reading Not Walking

November 12, 2025 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

Since retiring, I have loved spending time walking around our local area. I have done so every day when we haven’t been away from home. Generally, I will walk into town in the morning for the newspaper and daily shopping. Then I will often venture out for another walk in the afternoon.

On Tuesdays I will usually walk into Stroud to work at the Food Bank and, if there is a mid-week home game at Forest Green Rovers Football Club, will also walk to and from that. Those days see me doing almost 30,000 steps. On average, I have managed (often quite hilly) 15,000 steps a day since retiring. That, alongside some gardening, constitutes my main exercise.

*^{Autumn Walk. Ledgemore Bottom, Horsley, Gloucestershire}*

We are lucky that a plethora of footpaths in the area provides a large variety of routes to take to the shops or to the football ground or just as extra excursions through local fields and woods. It is particularly fortunate that Ruskin Mill College allows pedestrian access through their landscaped grounds between our village and Nailsworth, the nearest town. Further variety is provided by the seasons and this walk is especially uplifting at the moment as the trees turn to autumnal brown, yellow and red.

*^{Ruskin Mill College Grounds. Pretty Even In Autumn Rain}*

But all this walking takes up time. It’s time well spent for me; I love the outdoors, being in nature and happening to bump into friends on the way. I’ve enjoyed walking so much that, until this week, I hadn’t really thought about this consumption of time and what else I could do with the few hours a day I have spent walking.

What triggered me thinking about this time was a big flare up of a problem I have had for several months – off and on – with one of my ankles. I was most of the way to my weekly stint at the Stroud Food Bank when my ankle seized up. I pressed on and the ankle eased up a bit but then got a lot more painful. I bumbled my way through the shift, got Jane to pick me up afterwards and then spent 10 hours moaning and groaning about the pain (I’m not good with pain…)

I spent the next few days avoiding much movement. There was no thought of any substantial walking while my ankle settled down and, suddenly, I had several more hours to fill. I started reading.

*^{Walking Going Of A Cliff Edge (And A Careful Recovery Since)}*

I got up to date with a hardcopy of The Economist which Middle Son gets for me (very generously) every week on the back of his digital subscription. For the first time I could remember, my digesting of the content got ahead of publication and I was willing the next edition to arrive early. I read The Guardian daily from front to back (I still prefer hard copy; old habits die hard). And then I picked up the excellent novel (Long Island by Colm Toibin) I have been reading very slowly for weeks and finished it in a couple of days.

I ordered two more books and have started one at a pace unheard of before my ankle forced me to sit on the sofa rather more. I’ve remembered how much I like a good book and, even if my ankle recovers fully, I’m going to walk a bit less and read a lot more. That feels like a particularly attractive option as winter approaches, the days get shorter and the weather becomes less inviting.

*^{Batsford Arboretum, North Cotswolds}*

Of course, in between the routine walking over the last few weeks and before the ankle blow-up, there have been other highlights. On one sunny day recently, we went out to Batsford Arboretum in the North Cotswolds. Not surprisingly given the time of year and the weather, the arboretum was popular and some areas were quite crowded. Nonetheless, it is wonderful at this time of year. The mature trees were full of beautiful autumn shades and there were surprisingly big vistas across Oxfordshire and Wiltshire.

Batsford House can be seen from the arboretum but is not open to the public. However, within the grounds of the main house is a pleasant church, a museum of old gardening implements and a busy garden centre. We visited each only briefly and left for worthy, organic, vegetarian lunch at Abbey Home Farm on the way home.

*Batsford Arboretum Garden Implements Museum*

Batsford Church — *Batsford Arboretum Garden Implements Museum*

Two other memorable but more local events during the last few weeks have been a Diwali celebration in our local church and a local concert. The Diwali celebration was a second excuse in recent months to get dressed up in the Indian clothing we bought for a wedding of a friend in India almost a decade ago. It was a joyful event with people of all ages learning and performing Gujarati stick dancing, good music, drink and food, and a lot of local chatter. It is wonderful that we have people in such a small community prepared to organise such involving events.

The gig we went to was by This Is The Kit who we have seen before. They were supported by a band called Small Plant. They were perfect for a slightly out-there venue like the Goods Shed in a rather bohemian town like Stroud. Their first two songs were about propagating seedlings and making sourdough bread. They were unusual but we were pleased when they gave way to This is The Kit.

This Is The Kit Headlining At The Goods Shed, Stroud — *Small Plant At The Goods Shed, Stroud*

I really love This is The Kit’s music and, despite the lead guitar being occasionally a little over-dominant, they were, again, very good to watch and hear. Kate Stables, who leads the band, is a very personable and extremely talented musician. I was humming the tunes for days afterwards. Now I’m spending more time on the sofa, I can listen to them at home a little more too.

Friends

October 8, 2025 / fgrtommo / 5 Comments

A couple of recent events have got me thinking about friends. Friendship is a nebulous and sometimes transitory thing. I looked up a definition on Wikipedia:

Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an “acquaintance” or an “association”, such as a classmate, neighbour, coworker, or colleague.

Although there are many forms of friendship, certain features are common to many such bonds, such as choosing to be with one another, enjoying time spent together, and being able to engage in a positive and supportive role to one another.

Using that definition, I can see that I have been fortunate and have had a lot of friends in my life. I’ve been supported by, and enjoyed time with, friends at school, university, work and, now, in retirement. I have not felt the need for a lot of friends at any one time. I seem to prefer relatively deep friendships with a few rather than broad but shallower relationships with many.

Painting Depicting Friendship By Samuel Peploe (Scottish Colourist We Encountered In an Exhibition Of Scottish Colourists Earlier This Year) — *^{Painting Depicting Friendship By Samuel Peploe (Scottish Colourist We Encountered In An Exhibition at Dovecot Studios, Edinburgh Earlier This Year)}*

Having said that, two of my biggest life regrets are to have failed to keep in touch with any school friends and not making the most of a network of colleagues at work. I would like to know what some of my best mates at school are doing with their lives now and whether we still have things in common. And putting more effort into maintaining a network of work colleagues would have made my life in jobs, and between jobs, a little easier and, perhaps, more rewarding.

Two of my four main friends at university have died recently. The preparation for and conduct of a memorial service for one of these a few weeks ago, has been one of the events that has got me contemplating the value and meaning of friendship. Indeed, these deaths got me thinking more about mortality as well as friendship.

The remaining two best friends from my university era and I got together in London for lunch and a few beers to discuss our prospective speeches at our friend’s memorial service. There was a lot of catching up on what we were each doing, a bit of nostalgia and many funny reminiscences. But what struck me most was that, despite not meeting either of these guys for many months, we slipped into a shared history and conversation as if we talked together all the time.

We have been in contact with each other with varying degrees of intensity over 50 years and there have been many events together over that time. However, the other surprising thing for me was how much of that shared experience I have forgotten. As the old stories came out over the drinks, I could have sworn that I hadn’t been at several of the occasions that were being recalled. But the photos did not lie; I was usually there!

The memorial service itself was in Oxford. Jane and I were able to spend a very pleasant morning there before the memorial ceremony. Oxford centre was busy with tourists and a fresh batch of students. In a bit of free time, I visited the site of the old castle – a large mound next to the newer castle but one without good views across the city as I had hoped. I also strolled out of the crowds along the Oxford and Coventry canal and then through the pretty and interesting area of Oxford called Jericho. I had a very calming hour or so.

The ceremony in the Oxford Friends Meeting House was moving and the speeches (including my short one I think) were well received. Then we adjourned briefly to a packed pub and continued some of the reminiscences and the catching up with current lives. The whole process was very friendship affirming even though we had just lost a very good friend.

Post Memorial Service Catching Up — *^{Post-Memorial Service Catching Up}*

It’s been harder to keep up friendships with people I met during my 30 or so years in London since I moved completely out of the city a few years after retirement. I managed to stay in touch with a small group of friends in London who met every few months to work our way through the alphabet of cuisines. I made it to most of those sessions but they came to a natural end once we reached ‘Z’. I’ll need to redouble efforts to stay in touch with the participants.

Meanwhile, I have invested time in building up a new friendship group in and around our local village. And yes, building friendships does take effort and time. I have been lucky after moving to Gloucestershire post-retirement in that this is Jane, my wife’s, home territory. She has a large network of friends here and that provided a ready-made group of acquaintances.

Also, many of her family are based nearby. And, of course, family can be friends even though, apart from one’s partner, they are not chosen. Jane’s sister has recently moved to the local area and I’m looking forward to getting to know her and her husband a lot better as we become able to meet up more often. Plus, one of the things I am continually thankful for is that the relationships I have with my sons and their partners is akin to great friendships; I feel we both get on very well with them all.

My strongest local friendships have been built through my personal involvement in the local football team (Forest Green Rovers) and village events including Parish Council meetings, the Village Fete and Festival, the Pub Quiz and Crawl and, especially, the village’s Horsley Climate Action Network. These friendships may not have the longevity of some from my education or working life but they are some of the best.

Variable Weather During Prep For This Year's Village Fete — *^{Variable Weather During Prep For This Year’s Village Fete}*

This leads me onto the second recent event that got me thinking about friendship.

I am a frequent attendee at the local Talk Club (a session for men who generally don’t talk about feelings much, to talk about feelings). When this was on pause two summers ago, one of the other attendees and I decided that we would continue meeting up on walks. We would use these to keep tabs on each other thoughts and feelings and provide any support we could while enjoying the countryside, keeping our fitness up and providing custom to a few of the local pubs. That continued until my friend needed to go into hospital to have a fairly major operation.

*^{Peaceful, Sunny Scene On The Walk To A Friend}*

A month or so after that, I walked over to his neighbouring village to see him. It was a beautiful sunny day and a long leisurely walk. On the way, I was struck by how much I had missed him and had enjoyed our chats. Even after almost 70 years of making friends (and losing them again), it is still possible – indeed, easy – to make and maintain friends if one puts in the time and effort and are lucky enough to find people who are open, who listen as well as talk, and are fun to be with.

Autumn’s Hidden Notes and Gems

November 7, 2024 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

We are well into Autumn. There are mushrooms underfoot and local trees are looking lovely in their yellows, browns and reds as they shut down for winter. Our social whirl, which was so active with weddings and holidays a few weeks ago, has slowed but it hasn’t shut down. We have enjoyed several very pleasurable outings and visits and have a few more lined up during the rest of the month.

The backdrop to this has been activity to prepare our rental property for a new tenant after a several month gap for repairs and, now, moving furniture around to enable restoration of our house’s ground level wooden floors. It’s been a busy period of the routine, of renewal and of entertainment gems.

Back in September, still in our ‘wedding period’, we attended Stroud’s annual Hidden Notes festival of electronic and ambient music. We last attended in 2019 and the festival has become much more popular since then. We underestimated that and only just managed to get a seat before the central concert event became standing room only.

We saw five different artists over a six-hour period (thank goodness we got those seats!). Not all the music was to our tastes but all the performers were interesting in some way. Laura Cannell kicked things off with pleasant, off-beat, folky music on violin and a strange-looking bass recorder.

Hekla was even stranger. She is an Icelandic expert in playing the ‘Theremin’ which is a Soviet invention from the 1920s and is now an instrument that makes sound without physical contact as the artist moves around it and disrupts the electric signals it emits. It produced a rather bizarre, eerie sound and it was fun to watch Helka waving arms and hands around.

^{Mary Lattimore and Suzanne Ciani At St Lawrence Church, Stroud During The ‘Hidden Notes’ Festival}

Echo Collective, a group of classically trained Belgian musicians, sounded rather sombre. Their set was a rather slow burn but ultimately satisfying. Then came Mary Lattimore, an American harpist. I know her work well and was very much looking forward to hearing her in person. I wasn’t disappointed; it was great to see how the sounds she makes on her albums are actually made. Those sounds were lovely with occasional unexpected twists.

The evening was completed by Suzanne Ciani. She is an electronic music pioneer and she brought some very retro equipment with her. The most remarkable thing about her performance was her sprightliness at the age of 78. The music, however, was a difficult listen for our ears. That didn’t dent our enjoyment of the Hidden Notes event; it’s a little gem in the Cotswolds.

A more substantial outing was, more recently, to South Somerset and ‘a restaurant with rooms’ called Holm. I have wanted to revisit Wells Cathedral since passing it unexpectedly while following SatNav on the way back from Youngest Son’s Stag do in the summer. Holm in South Petherton was a hotel and restaurant Jane had been attracted to during one of her Instagram searches. Our trip was a win-win for us both.

*^{Wells Cathedral (Top), Vicars Close (Medieval Houses Built For The Cathedral Choir), And The Bishops Palace}*

The whole outing was bathed in Autumn sunshine and was very rewarding. The area immediately around Wells Cathedral and the Bishops Palace is beautiful. Wells Cathedral itself has some really wonderful features.

Holm provided very attractively decorated, comfortable rooms and innovative and excellent food. Despite a problem with the hot water on the first morning, we had a very good stay.

^{The Studio at Holm and Our Tasteful Room}

Holm is in the small market town of South Petherton. The church was attractive, there were numerous interesting old houses mainly constructed from a limestone that had a lovely orange hue.

*^{South Petherton Church And A Fives Wall (Bottom Right)}*

Perhaps most remarkably, South Petherton has a ‘fives’ wall in someone’s garden (and we saw another later in a nearby village). The game of fives became a popular sport in South Somerset from the mid-18th century. Churchwarden accounts record damage from fives being played against church towers. To prevent this, purpose-built fives walls were constructed in the yards of inns and large gardens and here was a surprising example of that (see below).

On the way to South Petherton we stopped off at the familiar and elegant At the Chapel for a coffee and then Hauser & Wirth in Bruton. We have been to both several times before.

There always seems to be an exhibition at Hauser & Wirth that is worth seeing. On this occasion it was an exhibition by Dame Phyllida Barlow who Jane seemed to be familiar with (I wasn’t). Her work was both in the indoor exhibition spaces and in the gardens. The scale of some of it was impressive and I quite liked the collection of small paintings but I don’t believe either of us was much moved. Instead, we retreated to a good lunch in Da Costa, the new Hauser & Wirth restaurant..

*^{Works By Dame Phyllida Barlow At Hauser & Wirth, Bruton}*

*^{Hauser & Wirth Gardens With Dame Phyllida Barlow’s Sculptures}*

Of course, once settled into our very nice hotel room, we used Holm as a base to visit a few other local places of interest. Once again, the life memberships of the National Trust that we were given as presents decades ago by my Mum and Dad came in very handy and were much re-appreciated.

We visited Montacute House gardens and benefited from an informative guide to the late Elizabethan architecture. The house itself was closed due to an ‘incident’ but, armed with our membership cards, there was no disappointment – we can simply come again another year. The house is very impressive from the outside and the gardens were quiet and pleasant in the Autumn sunshine.

We popped into East Lambrook Manor Gardens which is famous as an archetype cottage garden created by Margery Fish in the second half of the 20th century. Because of the lateness of the season there was limited colour in the garden. Even so, the mix of old buildings, autumnal trees, seed heads and densely planted beds were lovely. All this was augmented by a selection of steel plant-like sculptures by a local artist (Chris Kampf). We were left wondering how much longer the attractive set-up will last given the ‘For Sale’ sign we saw on the way out – we hope it does as it’s clearly lovingly looked after by the current incumbents and was another little hidden gem for us to see.

*^{East Lambrook Manor Gardens, Somerset}*

Finally, we visited Barrington Court and its twin, Strode House. This was owned by the Tate family of sugar, golden syrup and Tate Gallery fame. The spacious gardens and vistas were wonderful in the late afternoon sun. Inside the house, was the long and interesting story of restoration and development of the house – first by the Tate family and then the National Trust. This restoration is ongoing but the areas that were open were very nicely presented.

*^{Barrington Court And Strode House, Somerset}*

Back home we went to a gem of very local entertainment: a rather surreal but very funny village pantomime. It poked fun at the local village of Horsley and its hamlets, the misplacement of parcels delivered to village residents and other local peculiarities – all in a very quirky way along the theme of Alice in Wonderland. In a village of just 300 households there is a lot of talent and the entertainment provided was priceless.

*^{The Village Panto: ‘Alice’s Adventures In Horsley’}*

The rest of the last few weeks has been more routine but with highlights of visits by Eldest Son’s family and his parents in law, and a few visits by Middle Son and his fiancée. It is so heart-warming to see our grandchildren. It’s a different love to that we felt towards our own kids. Maybe recollections of our love for them when they were growing up is blurred by time. Oddly, my love for our sons feels even greater now, and my adoration of both grandchildren is incredibly intense; we both love it when they visit us.

We have more visits by London friends and another visit to Edinburgh for First Grandchild’s third birthday coming up in the next few weeks. Each event will be a welcome distraction from disturbing international events and a little fillip to our lives; autumnal gems for the memory banks.

Horsley Unwrapped

March 9, 2024 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

The Horsley Festival – subtitled ‘Horsley Community and Culture Unwrapped’ – was substantial triumph. The events that comprised the festival included concerts, art exhibitions, craft workshops, poetry recitals, storytelling, wildlife walks and dance workshops. These events were presented very professionally in a brochure and on a dedicated Horsley Unwrapped website. All of the events were very well attended – indeed, most were fully booked up – and all the events I went to were even better than I expected. It was an incredible achievement for a village of about 300 households.

*_{Ruskin Mill Valley Near Horsley, Gloucestershire}*

My wife, Jane, was on the steering committee. This was chaired by the brainchild and prime organizer of the event – a friend of ours and a real hero who must have worked almost full time on the festival for weeks and who was incredibly busy during and, especially, between the events!

^{The ‘Inspire’ Art Exhibition Organised By Jane Including Works By Children At The Local School (bottom right) and Works By International Artists (bottom left) – A Diverse Mix!}

Jane was responsible for the central art exhibition which kicked off the festival. It was a significant effort to organize about 25 local artists so that information about their work, and the works themselves, were available on time, and that those works taken away promptly at the end. There were also trials and tribulations associated with ensuring that large display boards and plinths were procured, restored and erected safely and in time. The result, though, was much-praised and Jane was very happy with its success.

*_{Some Of The Art Works – By Local Artists Maisie Meredith, Jo Hofman And Kim Roberts}*

As well as the art exhibition and the associated opening ceremony, I attended a variety of other events. There were three music concerts during the nine days of the festival which framed the talents of three solo musicians and eight bands from the local area. Horsley has attracted a large number of artists and musicians over the years and the quality on show was terrific.

*_{Closing The Festival: The Village Concert Starring The Elastic Band, Diana Yukawa, Bill Roberts, Solskin And Hawkmoth}*

There was a lot of dancing – including some rather chaotic but very amusing line dancing which Jane enjoyed. However, the music I liked best was a set of haunting violin-based music by Diana Yukawa. We have listened to and enjoyed music by this international performer at home before. Even in a rather ordinary village hall, and in front of her very proud looking daughters, her performance was very moving and memorable.

Listening And Dancing To The Bagelites, Kinvara And Spiracy

The three wildlife walks with the Chair of the Gloucestershire Wildlife Trust, who lives just down the road from us, were booked up very quickly; too quickly for me to get a place. However, I did manage to get on a tour of the main Ruskin Mill College buildings and workshops in the valley I walk through frequently on my way into town.

The valley itself is very familiar to me but an introductory presentation on the way the restoration of the old mill and fisheries has taken place over the last 30 years provided fascinating, new information. We were given a little book describing the history and values of the Ruskin Mill Trust and the way it provides specialist education for teenagers and adults with complex needs.

The college values are inspired by those of Victorian architect and artist, John Ruskin. I have been interested in him, and William Blake who lived a little earlier but shared similar views, for quite a long time. Both of them were keen to revive traditional craftwork amid the mass production of the Industrial Revolution. Ruskin’s interest in that is reflected in some of the workshops that now enable students at Ruskin Mill College to learn rural crafts such as pottery, ironworking, trout farming and woodworking.

Our visits to the fish hatchery, woodworking centre and the forge (with its three forges showing Iron Age, Medieval an Edwardian methods) were enlightening. The demonstrations of blacksmithery and wood turning were eye-opening.

*_{Tour Of Ruskin Mill, The College Forge And Greenwood Workshop}*

The tour was crowned with a visit to the college staff art exhibition and delicious, homemade pizzas made in the college pizza oven; very nice!

*_{Ruskin Mill Staff Exhibition: Some Gorgeous Wooden Spoons By Richard Turley}*

Another highlight for me during the festival was an ‘in conversation’ session with four local, young artists that was facilitated by a good friend of ours. The artists were a commercial film maker working in the advertising world (in a similar but bigger way to that of our Youngest Son), a photographer, a storyteller and a maker of naturally dyed textiles. The latter, Maisie Meredith, is someone I know a little and her work, including a beautiful booklet, is a brave, direct response to her personal issues with endometriosis.

The artists described their work, approach and way of working. That was very interesting and the dynamic as they asked each other questions and reinforced or developed each other’s points was refreshing.

*_{Local Young Creatives ‘In Conversation’}*

The point when the storyteller, Hannah Moore, told a brief story to illustrate the way she used stories to facilitate restorative justice – the process of getting criminals to talk with their victims to reach some point of closure following a crime – was my best moment of the festival. It was matched a few minutes later when she told another story, impromptu but masterfully, in response to a question from the audience about the possibilities of using storytelling to resolve wider conflicts such as wars.

I should mention too that the All-Comers Darts event I organised in a small corner of the less serious end of the festival, went very well. We had he right number of participants for an event where no-one had much darts skill but where all improved over the course of 90 minutes. We all had a lot of laughs and fun. I almost won! That was a reflection of the low quality of dart throwing on display (the pub darts team was playing away from home that night) but encouragement enough to get me thinking of organising a village darts ladder.

We will see….. but whether I do or not, the Horsley Festival has left a legacy of fond memories, reminders of past cultural events – some of which were well before our time in the village – and a momentum that may result in future, similar events. It has also enabled new personal connections between the residents and I, for one, have strengthened or initiated new relationships. I know Jane has strengthened and made many more.

*_{Jane Walking Through Mist And Sun In Horsley}*

Since retirement I have embedded myself into this little Gloucestershire village and, over the last couple of years, for the first time, have felt as though I am a proper, full part of a local community. When we ‘downsize’ again and move out (timescales yet to be agreed), we will miss Horsley hugely.

A Bath Trip and Interesting Fungi

February 16, 2024 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

As part of our joint New Year Resolution to get out and about more when the sun is shining, Jane and I went to Bath earlier this month. We always enjoy visiting Bath, in part because the architecture reminds us of Edinburgh which we have also come to love, but also in its own right.

*^{One Of The Georgian Crescents Below Sion Hill, Bath}*

Jane always seems to find a treasured, discreet parking spot on Sion Hill. The walk from there to the centre of town takes us past takes us past Georgian terraces and crescents and through big open grassy slopes with broad vistas. It is an early treat on our visits, especially on a sunny day. Then in the city centre, there are the impressive squares and circuses of intact Georgian houses, the river and its bridges, and the Roman Baths and Cathedral, all clad in wonderful local stone.

A highlight of most of our Bath visits is the opportunity to pick up sourdough bread from Landrace bakery in Walcot Street. It is simply our favourite bread. This time we also visited The Fine Cheese Company a few doors along. The service from the French chap behind the counter was a little snooty (perhaps because we enquired about English cheese) but he was very efficient in giving us a taster of the smooth and luscious Old Winchester cheese which we went away with.

Jane had spotted that there was an exhibition of Gwen John’s work on at the The Holburne Museum and, for all the attractions of picking up top quality bread and cheese, seeing that was the prime purpose of our Bath trip. I was only vaguely familiar with Gwen John following a recent conversation with friends in our village who had seen an exhibition of her work in Chichester. They had recommended it and, anyway, I trust Jane on choosing worthwhile exhibitions like this one.

The exhibition proved to be small but interesting. Gwen John was clearly a formidable and influential woman. It seems that her popularity has grown since her death but in life she mixed with, modelled for and inspired a wide range of other artists and produced attractive and innovative paintings. I particularly liked the set of paintings on show called the ‘Convalescent Series’. These are portraits with muted colours with an unusual surface texture apparently produced by the oil paint soaking into a chalky glue mix which caused bubbles and then small perforations in the finish.

*^{‘Woman Seated’; Part Of ‘The Convalescent Series’ by Gwen John}*

When Jane and I met up outside the exhibition room afterwards we both said how much we had enjoyed John’s paintings but, amusingly, we both through that the best painting on show was one that was hung to illustrate her influence on other artists. This was an interior with a single female figure by a Dane, Vilhelm Hammershøi. We both thought it lovely.

^{‘Interior With Writing Table And A Young Woman’ by Vilhelm Hammershøi}

I recall seeing a Hammershøi painting in the Musee D’Orsay in Paris last year when I began to appreciate his work for the first time. I love his understated views of rooms, his grey palette and the ambiguity that stems from not being able to see the faces of the figures in his pictures – or the lack of a figure at all in the case of the painting I saw in Paris.

Alongside the Gwen John exhibition was a small exhibition of rather strange works by Gillian Lowndes. The point of these seemed to be to mix as many different materials as possible so they looked like weird debris dug up from a brownfield industrial site somewhere. The results weren’t uninteresting but I wasn’t moved by them.

*^{Two Of The Works By Gillian Lowndes On Show At The Holburne Museum}*

The Holburne Museum also had a display by Lubaina Himid called Lost Threads. This involved piles and streams of beautiful, brightly coloured Dutch textiles strewn across the floors of the museum rooms and woven between the pillars at the front of the building. Jane and I had been to see a substantial exhibition of her work at Tate Modern a couple of years ago. Like then, while we enjoyed the vibrant colours, we weren’t bowled over by works.

*^{The Holburne Museum Clad With Textiles By Lubiana Himid}*

Having got a dose of culture, we went for lunch at Oak. We had a very tasty lunch of vegetarian small plates. These arrived at a relaxed and, for us, ideal pace – always a pleasant surprise in small plates-oriented restaurants where, too often, things seem to arrive with a timing to suit the chef not the customers.

My life back at home has been largely routine. The weather hasn’t been very conducive to gardening and, while I have recommenced work in the field, there is still a lot to do to ready the vegetable patches for the new season and to plant some pot-bound trees I acquired a couple of years ago.

The weather hasn’t stopped some good local walks. Indeed, between the bouts of rain, we have had some lovely sunny days.

I’ve enjoyed the displays of snowdrops and the growing enthusiasm for the coming Spring being demonstrated by small birds singing their hearts out.

I have also spotted some interesting fungi which seem to be thriving in the mild damp. Just yesterday I saw a great pile of some sort of puff ball mushroom.

*^{Crazy Mound Of Puff Balls Looking Like A Pile of Discarded New Potatoes}*

A little earlier this week I saw, for my first time, a myriad of small bright red fungi growing on felled tree trunks and branches and dotted through a few square yards of undergrowth. These are Scarlet Elf Cap fungi. A friend tells me that it is from these little red cups that the wood elves drink the dew to refresh themselves each morning; nice story and a lovely sight.

While I have taken myself off for leisurely walks or lounged around rather too much, Jane has been very busy organising an exhibition of local artists work as part of the village’s cultural festival (called Horsley Unwrapped). Trying to tie down artists to various deadlines for facts about the work they want to display and any sale prices has been like ‘herding sheep’ at times, but the display boards have arrived and hanging of the work has started. After the exhibition this coming weekend, Jane is suddenly going to have a lot of discretionary time available!

*^{On My Way To Get The Newspaper: Winter Sunrise}*

My only contribution to the festival so far has been supporting Jane with some of the collateral materials for her exhibition. However, next week I am organising a Fun All-Comers Darts evening as part of the Festival. Goodness knows how that will go – I haven’t played darts for a few decades! I’ve bought some darts and am ready to go. More on this next time perhaps….

Football Footnote: Forest Green Rovers, who I support through thick and thin, have just had their first league win since October 2023 following a run of 15 winless league games. Incredibly there is a team worse than us in our Division (English Football League 2) and the win took us off the bottom. This one win has turned hopelessness into absurd levels of hope that we can avoid a consecutive relegation this season. But as someone on the FGR Fans Forum often says, ‘it’s the hope that kills you’. Hope will either burgeon or turn to dust again this coming weekend as we play again the team we beat last October. My fingers are crossed….

Three Property Purchases and a Funeral

December 19, 2022 / fgrtommo / 1 Comment

Last month we went to a funeral for a very popular, lovely, family man almost 10 years younger than me. He had died suddenly leaving his family and friends shocked and bereft. It was an absolutely packed and emotional church service – he was a terrific guy who was enormously popular – followed by an equally packed reception. The whole occasion was very moving and I have thought about it a lot since.

Of course, the overriding feeling during the service and afterwards was sadness that it represented a life cut short, especially as he was so full of life, he had looked so well and was so obviously a vital part of his family, the organisation he worked for and his local community. However, the speeches and readings at the funeral were largely an uplifting celebration of his life. There were many amusing anecdotes and also a lovely poem by David Harkins that provided a positive slant on death that gave a little boost even in such a sad situation.

You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Into this mix of shock, sadness and a celebration of a life well lived, was a feeling of being the recipient of good fortune in that I am still here and reasonably healthy. I have seen three sons settle with three delightful partners and seen Eldest Son produce a wonderful child with his wife. And, this year, I’ve seen all three sons purchase homes with their partners that are each very different but which seem very well suited to each pair; a flat in Edinburgh, a terrace house in Bristol and a semi-detached house in Belfast.

Old age may bring aches, pains and worse but it is a privilege to have had longevity to be able to see our sons grow and establish themselves in the world, to be happy and to establish a platform into which they could introduce new life. As I stood in the crowded church at the funeral, I thought: lucky me.

*^{Late Afternoon Walk With Middle Son And His Partner Near Their New Home In Bristol}*

Even as Christmas approaches and we look forward to hosting our sons and their partners at various times over the Christmas period, Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I are starting to think about making the most of our time with a few trips next year. First, we want to get to Belfast to see Youngest Son’s new house but we will be trying to visit Edinburgh too and, I hope, spending smaller but more numerous fragments of time in nearby Bristol. Plus, after a few years of abstinence, we want to travel abroad again.

Meanwhile, I continue to potter through my local routine of walking, shopping, cooking, and working a bit for the local Climate Action Network and Food Bank. In recent cold, clear weather, the local walks have been a real treat.

Plus, of course, I have been watching a lot of football at the World Cup. Qatar may have been a crazy choice for a number of reasons but the overall quality of the football has been great. For all the concern about the Qatari views on LGBTQ rights and workers rights, it has been a pleasant change to see the joyous, ebullient crowds in the stadia in contrast to the thuggery and tears at Wembley at the Euros a couple of years ago.

My normal routine was also interrupted but enhanced by a trip to Lewes in Sussex. I tagged along with LSW who wanted to visit a specific shop called Freight there. It was a long way to travel for a shop but it was very much LSWs thing and Lewes is a very attractive town.

*^{Harvey’s Brewery And St Michael’s Church, Lewes}*

Harvey’s brewery is based in the town and the smell of hops was delightful as we walked down the high street. It is a smell that reminds me of my home town of Reading which was the home of Courage breweries in my youth. I love it.

After a very good value and pleasant lunch at Bill’s, LSW and I split up for a bit. While LSW surveyed the shops, I wandered around the town’s castle and gardens. The gardens are a bit bleak at this time of year but the weather was fine and the views from the visitor-friendly castle were pretty impressive in all directions.

*^{Views Of And Views From Lewes Castle}*

Since getting back home, the weather has been very cold and then surprisingly snowy. We had about seven inches of snow and it stuck around for almost a week. My Yaktrax Ice Grips allowed me to continue my normal round of walks to and from the local towns and the frost and snow made the local countryside en route even prettier than usual. A week of such weather is, though, enough in my book; I am looking forward to temperatures rising a little bit before Christmas.

*^{Frosty Weather In Nearby Ruskin Mill Valley}*

And so on to Christmas! Hopefully our sons and their partners will be able to avoid the issues caused by strikes and weather to make it down to us from their various new abodes. Then we can feel so lucky all over again…..

*^{A Cold And Not-So-Lucky Grey Heron In Ruskin Mill Valley}*

Task Oriented Autumn

November 9, 2022June 9, 2023 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

A few posts ago I mentioned that I had started going to a Mental Fitness For Men group under the auspices of Talk Club. Our local pub landlord has arranged weekly Talk Club sessions and I have made it to most of them since they started a few months ago. The sessions are of fixed format but the people who turn up each week vary so there is always something new to listen to as well as, usually, something new to say.

I’ve found the meetings useful in that they help me frame what I am grateful for and what I’m going to do in the next week to make things feel better for myself. However, I do often feel daunted by the lucidity with which most others in the weekly groups talk about the way they feel. In comparison I tend to fall back into talking about things I have done and things I’m going to do. I have explained to the group (and myself) that I tend to feel happiest when I am ticking off tasks on my to-do list but I suspect that I need to get deeper into how I feel about life rather than describing tasks.

Having said that, I have felt a certain contentment that, by and large, I have done what I said I would do over the last few weeks. The tasks have varied from raking up the scythed and strimmed grass in the meadow (into piles I don’t quite know what to do with), to harvesting the last summer crops and gathering seed for next year, to production of a string of documents I promised for the local Climate Action Network group that I belong to.

*^{Not Quite A Crown Prince Squash. Grown From Gathered 2021 Seed And Reverted From F1 Hybrid – Tasty Though!}*

Today, post-Foodbank duties, I am even finally managing to get around to making crab apple jelly which is a task that has been on my to-do list for a few weeks. Overall, October and early November has been a good month for tiny achievements amongst my retirement routine!

*^{Making Crab Apple Jelly – Tree -> Apples -> Straining -> Jelly! (First Of Two Batches)}*

There have been a few other high points recently. Middle Son (MS) and his partner have moved from London to Bristol – just 45 minutes away. That means that we will see them more often. For example, Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I were delighted when they popped over for an impromptu dinner a couple of Fridays ago. It was lovely to have a normalised drop-in-type arrangement with one of our sons rather than have to think about days packing, travelling and staying away from home.

Not that those sorts of visits are not welcome. We are off to Edinburgh again later this week and can’t wait to see First Grandchild (FG) again (and his parents!) for the first time in over two months. It’s going to be a special visit this time to celebrate not only FG’s first birthday, but also Eldest Son (ES) and his partner’s marriage. I’m so glad they have chosen a relatively low key way of getting married and celebrating that with a few close relatives. However, the event is momentous nonetheless and it will be lovely to have all our boys, their partners, my Dad and my sister all together with FG in one place at the same time.

We have also had some old friends come to visit us for a weekend. We have been rather poor at inviting people over for almost anything since the Covid pandemic; we seem to have just got out of that pattern of being. But it was great to see these long standing and close friends again. We had an active but relaxed time with them that culminated in a delightful walk in the Slad Valley and then an excellent lunch at The Woolpack (of Laurie Lee fame).

*^{The Slad Valley Near Stroud Between Autumn Showers}*

Much of the rest of the time in the last few weeks has been more routine. However, I helped to advertise a talk that our village Climate Action Network group arranged with the Parish Council on rewilding and the impact of climate change on our local trees. The theme of this talk, and a continuing series we have planned for next year, is ‘hope’. This is to counteract the inevitable descent into gloom if we consider and talk too much about the climate and biodiversity emergencies alongside other current preoccupations such as the war in Ukraine and the cost of living crisis.

The first talk in the ‘Hope Talks’ series was almost wildly successful. We have a hard act to follow as we go into next year. The talks themselves bring the village together and just the fact they happen adds to the resilience of the community and its cohesiveness. I edit a quarterly newsletter (another task done this week!) and submit articles to the monthly village magazine but these ‘Hope Talks’ hold out greater promise for conveying useful information while being a great relationship building mechanism.

*^{Our Learned ‘Hope Talk’ Speaker – Local Resident, Dr David Bullock (With Props)}*

Of course, other continuing elements of my recent retirement routine have been steadfast support of local football teams (Forest Green Rovers but also Shortwood United and Horsley United) and more of the Autumnal walks I talked about in my last post.

*^{Local Team Shortwood United In The Process Of Winning 5-0}*

The Autumn weather has been so mild and, until recently, so dry that the walks have been particularly pleasant. The colours in the trees have been changing quite variably from species to species. That has meant that while the reds and yellows have perhaps not been as spectacular as in some past years, the blending of different colours across the valley slopes has been very attractive.

*^{Local Walk Lined With Lime And Hazel Trees}*

I plan to keep up the local walks even as the winter weather closes in. However, I do also plan to reduce the number of discretionary, extraneous things I commit to in the next few months. At least that way I may be able to think more about abstract feelings rather than worrying about the state of my to-do list and the rate of knocking items off it. I may even resort to that old trick of adding things to the to-do list that I have already done…..

*^{Lovely Valley, Lovely Weather, Long Shadows}*

Retirement: Five Years On

July 2, 2022 / fgrtommo / 1 Comment

Five years ago today, I experienced my first day of retirement after almost 40 years of corporate working. I haven’t done a stroke of paid work since retiring and I haven’t regretted that for one minute. I have been lucky that my health has been good (I know a few new retirees who have not been so fortunate) and that earning and saving during my working life has meant that I could retire in my early 60s and still live comfortably (again, not something that is possible for all).

*^{Taking The Retirement Step Five Years Ago: Mr Archer Has Left The Building!}*

I have also been lucky in that retirement moved me more permanently to our family home in a lovely part of Gloucestershire but that I could also keep a degree of access to my London flat for a few years. That meant that I could wean myself off London cultural life gradually. That London facility has just been sold and now I am tied much more to Gloucestershire day to day (something that probably means Long-Suffering Wife is a little more long-suffering these days). However, while cultural exploits are now less frequent, the countryside here is highly alluring, the rural walks are delightful and the pandemic lockdown had already trained me to make the most of the local.

*^{Long, Local, Countryside Walks – A Great Retirement Treat}*

Five years ago, I wasn’t sure what to expect from retirement (that was one of the reasons why I started this blog when I retired) and there certainly have been some surprises along the way. The Covid pandemic has been a big one and that has curtailed a lot of the travel that I anticipated doing. Middle Son’s accident a few years ago was also completely impossible to anticipate and has taken a while to recover from. Now a needless world war is causing more widespread disruption in which to plan.

*^{Pre-Covid Travel We Did Manage: South Africa}* ²⁰¹⁸

Our sons’ locations have also been unpredictable and yet this has determined a lot of our travel. When Youngest Son was in Australia we went there (twice); currently he is in Belfast and we have visited there twice too. Middle Son remains in London so we have seen him there but we wait on tenterhooks as to where he will move to next and more permanently.

*^{Northern Ireland Summer 2021; (Typically Very) Early Morning Trip With Youngest Son}*

Meanwhile, Eldest Son is settled in Edinburgh with his partner and they have produced the loveliest retirement surprise – our First Grandchild – and so Edinburgh has become another regular destination.

As I did a year after leaving employment, I have gone back to the initial impressions I had of retirement which I set out after the first six months (here and here). To recap, the main personal lessons, in summary, were:

Work didn’t and doesn’t define me and I don’t miss it
There is plenty to do in retirement
There is still need for structure
Holidays (trips away from home) are more relaxing now
I miss London, but not as much as I expected
Summer Is A Good Time To Retire
Remember That Retirement Affects One’s Partner Too
Spend Time Getting To Know One’s (New) Neighbourhood
Don’t Rush Into Any New Big Time Commitments
Health, As Always, Is Critical.

Once again, I don’t see much to change or add to that. I have certainly found plenty to do in retirement and have enjoyed getting involved more in the local community, but a key attraction is that little has to be done in a hurry. Even though I have taken on a few commitments around the village, particularly regarding local climate action, and even though some of these have become quite substantial, the pace is much more relaxed. As in work, there seems to be much to do but, in retirement, most can wait until tomorrow.

*^{Our Meadow And Vegetable Patches: Varying Levels Of Untidiness}*

I have been able to create new routines and structures for my day primarily around walking, shopping and cooking. They help provide some balance between doing and doing very little that create a feeling of busyness but with a flexibility on timescales that is just challenging enough for me.

That flexibility is perhaps the most attractive thing. We can travel or not. I can offer to help with something or not (I remain careful not to promise things I can’t deliver). I can go out gardening today or leave it till later because Wimbledon tennis is on or it looks like rain. I can take a long walk because the weather is nice or I can sit and play a computer game for an hour or two. I can cook simply or take the time to explore into new cooking territory. I can go to a Forest Green Rovers away game halfway across the country or sit nervously alongside the radio commentary.

*^{Who Wouldn’t Want To Travel Halfway Across The Country To See The New Forest Green Rovers Away Kit?}*

The choices are more attractive than when I was working, the execution of those choices is more relaxed, and it’s been a very good five years!

Friends, Family and Parochial Busyness

June 16, 2022 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

Since retiring almost five years ago, I have frequently been surprised by how busy I have felt. Late May and Early June have certainly felt that way although, when I look back, I’m not sure why.

Certainly, I have done a one or two weeks of work on follow up activities relating to a Village Meeting that the local Climate Action Network group I belong to arranged with the Parish Council. And, ok, we have had visitors other than family coming to stay for the first time since the start of the pandemic.

We also had the festivities around the Queens Jubilee (though in our village, these only really stretched to installation of a new commemorative bench and, more engagingly, a four day beer festival in the village pub). We even hosted a long-promised but long awaited drinks event for a few locals in our garden. Plus we had a really lovely visit from our First Grandchild (FG), his parents and his other Grandparents. Oh, and the London Barbican flat that I used before retirement was sold!

*^{Village Pub (The Hog) Ju-Beer-Lee Beer Festival}*

Does that sound like a busy month?

In any case, almost all of it has been a lot of fun and, in the case of the work on the presentations of the summary of feedback from the Village Meeting, I feel like I have achieved something worthwhile for the greater good. I get to present most of it to the Parish Council next week so I hope they will feel the same way.

Lacing all these little events together has been the routine of shopping, cooking, gardening and walking.

Shopping and cooking has been marked by an uptick (in my perception, at least) in the frequency and innovation of my evening meal preparation. I am enjoying cooking more and more as I gain confidence in swapping out recipe ingredients for others to add variety and to use up vegetables otherwise likely to be wasted. ‘Important’ meals for most visitors usually remain the in the ambit of Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) but no longer is this a golden rule and my (in)famous Coronation Chicken (courtesy of Thomasina Miers) got an outing when my Best Man came to visit during the village pub beer festival a couple of weeks ago.

*^{This Coronation Chicken Recipe From Thomasina Miers Is Easy But Creates A Delicious, Colourful, Warm Salad}*

Gardening has been more fraught with the need to focus on the Village Meeting, days of relatively inclement weather, and early afternoon indolence combining to delay planting out of straggly, pot bound vegetable seedlings. Now almost everything is in the ground the slugs are having a better time of it, but at least my seedlings have a chance of producing something.

The local walks have been increasingly pleasant as the weather has improved on our way to the longest day and summer. Plus I have got real enjoyment from using a mobile phone app that identifies birds from their birdsong. The app is called Merlin Bird ID (although I understand from others I have spoken to that there are several alternatives). When I first tried it a few months ago, I wasn’t sure it was accurate. Now I believe it is and using it has begun to help me learn to identify birds before I even open the app and turn the recording/identification function on. It’s adding another pleasurable dimension to my walks in much the same way the app Candide did for me from sometime last year as I tried to identify plants as I went.

*^{Much Loved Sycamore At The Top Of Our Lane}*

LSW and I are off to Lyme Regis this coming weekend where, Covid permitting, we will meet up with Middle Son, Youngest Son and their partners. I’m looking forward to that – and the break in my (busy) routine – immensely.

*^{Last View Of The Barbican Flat – Empty And Sold!}*

Momentous November

November 30, 2021 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

It’s been a very good month for me. Early in November, our new, first grandchild arrived safely. We were able to visit his city of birth, Edinburgh, to congratulate the new parents in person and hold and cuddle the little fella for the first time. Even in those first few days we saw him change and settle into a routine that is destabilising and sleep depriving for his parents but which looked normal. We miss him already and can’t wait to return to Edinburgh just before Christmas and again in 2022.

*^{The First Of The New Baby Congratulations Cards}*

I’ve been looking forward to being a Grandad for a few years. So far, it is just as I expected. I feel proud and loving, but glad I can feel all that emotional warmth without all the challenge and awkward practicality of having to be a new parent. That looks as demanding as ever but Eldest Son (ES) and his partner are more than coping and their rewards will be immense too.

It is so great that I’m now retired and so we can pop up to Edinburgh without having to slip the visits between any work commitments. Also, the fact that the pandemic has curtailed any plans for exotic holidays abroad over the last year or so means that we can splash out on the rail travel and hotels without feeling too extravagant. If our other sons have children too (say, in Belfast and/or Bristol) than I can see these sorts of lovely, spirit-lifting Grandad visits are going to become a major preoccupation!

We saw Edinburgh this time in cold but mainly sunny weather – the haar was nowhere to be seen. As before, we were impressed by the number of small independent shops and cafes. Two of our three breakfasts (at Urban Angel and Union Brew Lab) were really excellent. We even managed a lunch and a coffee break in a couple of cool and friendly places with a completely relaxed grandchild.

The Royal Botanic Garden and Inverleith Park were also lovely and the preparations for the Christmas light show in the former looked very promising. We had a very pleasant time walking miles around the city and practicing our pram pushing skills. We also were able to meet with the other grandparents again over a tasty Indian takeaway meal they provided while the little one snoozed in his Moses basket. I understand that he snoozed a bit less after we left!

This month was also momentous for the passing of my Dad’s 90^th birthday. I was able to visit him briefly in Nottingham to celebrate this big milestone. We marked the occasion with a very substantial and very satisfactory meal at Côte, which is an old favourite, and with a tipple or two from my Dad’s impressive collection of liqueurs. He misses my Mum, as we all do, but we had a quietly relaxed and convivial time comforted by the knowledge that at least she was aware, earlier this year, that her great grandchild was on his way.

In between all this celebration, Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I also managed a rather ad hoc visit to London to see LSW’s sister and then our Middle Son (MS) and his partner. I love going up to London to catch up with developments around the City and the East End, visit the galleries and just absorb the bustle.

^{I Won’t Ever Tire Of The London Skyline}

Of course, that bustle is reduced during the ongoing pandemic. Nonetheless, the restaurant MS took us to (Sager & Wilde) was busy and had a great atmosphere (as well as good food) and the exhibitions at Tate Modern were booked up. Still, I loved meandering around the Tate Modern. The Turbine Hall had an interesting mobile exhibit and the general collection I walked through on the 3^rd floor was, as usual, a little staggering in terms of the quality of the art.

*^{‘In Love With The World’ By Anicka Yi In The Turbine Hall Of Tate Modern; Like Floating Jellyfish}*

*^{Works By Emily Karne Kngwarreye And John Mawurndjul In An Exhibition Of Australian Art At Tate Modern}*

Back in Gloucestershire, in the gaps between all these excursions, I have managed to sustain the normal routines of watching my football team (Forest Green Rovers still ‘top of the league and having a laugh’), walking, cooking, a bit of garden clearance ahead of winter, and some activity around our local Horsley Climate Action Network (HCAN) group.

*^{Watching The Village Football Team On Weekends When Forest Green Rovers Don’t Have A Game}*

A particular relief is that, following the 26th UN Climate Change Conference of the Parties (COP26), I have managed to write and publish our quarterly HCAN newsletter. LSW and I plan to travel to Edinburgh on a more frequent basis next year to watch our new grandchild develop and we will also visit MS and Youngest Son when we can. Therefore my commitment to HCAN may reduce to simply sustaining that newsletter routine. It’s been a momentous month and momentum around family is going to continue to be the priority as we move towards, and into, 2022.

My Retirement Journey

I've Retired! What Next?

Horsley Gloucestershire