Places to Go, Things to Do

May 11, 2023 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

Our three sons came from Edinburgh, Bristol and Belfast to stay with us to attend Jane’s Mum’s funeral and then my birthday brunch. The funeral was very well attended and passed flawlessly, peacefully and movingly. My birthday was low key but very enjoyable. It was great to have all three sons in one place for the first time for a while, to hear them banter with each other, and to chat to.

Two of them asked, independently, what on earth I fills my time in retirement. I’m not sure I was entirely candid about my occasional post-lunch snoozes or the rather excessive amount of time I spend looking at my mobile phone – though they are also fairly guilty of the latter so they would understand. But what struck me once again as I tried to answer is how busy my life still seems to be.

The routine of walking to the nearest town for the daily shopping and the newspaper, reading that newspaper and the weekly Economist magazine, preparing lunch and (50% of the time) dinner, all takes up hours of relatively relaxed time. I spend up to a day a week in local climate action and other village activities and another half a day at the Stroud Foodbank. I have recently inserted an hour or two of gardening into the routine (not enough, but it’s a start) partially at the cost of my frequent walks around the local countryside that usually constitute my main exercise.

The early evenings comprise of the ‘Quick Crossword’ over a cup of tea and/or visits to the local pub. Later, we watch streamed TV series (we tend to gravitate to dark European crime thrillers) and then its time for the BBC News, 15 minutes reading in bed and sleep.

So, even in weeks without trips to Edinburgh or funerals to attend (and there have been two in the last month unfortunately), I feel pretty occupied. How did I fit 10 hours a mid-week day on work? It was interesting to hear Middle Son start to feel the same way now he has given up his job for a bit of downtime before a ‘gap-month’ travelling in Columbia. He too seems to have found that available time just gets filled with activity. In retirement, those activities are mainly non-urgent and discretionary; suits me!

Our trip to Edinburgh last month to see First Grandchild (FG) and his parents was as rewarding as usual. FG is discovering the desire to exert control and is developing a temper, a willingness to do things but only at his pace and when he is ready, and a sense of humour. Its lovely to see his development in the videos we are sent but even more so face to face. Maybe I just lack the recall power but I think work got in the way of appreciating all of this in my own children at FG’s age.

*^{The Splendid Roof Of The Scottish National Museum’s Main Hall}*

As usual, taking FG out to the National Museum of Scotland, to the Royal Botanic Garden and to the local playgrounds were highpoints during our Edinburgh trip. It’s wonderful to see that everything through his eyes is so new and something to learn about.

^{Royal Botanic Garden, Edinburgh: Rhododendrons Out In April!}

However, there were many other treats amid the hospitality offered by Eldest Son and his wife and the fun of being with FG. Jane and I walked to Leith where I bought her birthday present in advance and with her close guidance. On the way back we stopped off at Spry, our favourite wine bar in the city.

We also visited the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art to see an exhibition of Alberta Whittle’s work. We had seen an exhibition by her in Bath a few months earlier which we had enjoyed. However, although the exhibition in Edinburgh was much broader in ambition, neither of us enjoyed the individual works so much this time.

*^{‘Taking A Leap Toward The Ancestors’ By Alberta Whittle (2022)}*

Our cultural immersion while in Edinburgh continued with a brief stop at the private The Scottish Gallery (mainly to see some pretty floral paintings by Angie Lewin) before exceeding all our daily steps targets by crossing the city again to visit the Dovecot Studios. This was a real highlight.

*^{Part of the Kaffe Fassett ‘Power Of Pattern’ Exhibition}*

Not only was there an excellent exhibition of textiles by and inspired by Kaffe Fassett called ‘The Power of Pattern’, but the tapestry studios themselves were fascinating. I was only vaguely familiar with Kaffe Fassett but I loved a lot of the work on show here – mainly because of the vibrancy of the colour – and I learned a lot about his philosophy, way of working and his collaborations with others.

*^{Close-ups Of Quilted and Tapestry Works By Kaffe Fassett And Followers}*

The tapestry studios at Dovecote are restored and re-purposed swimming baths that were part of the now defunct infirmary. The space is airy and dramatic. The floor – what presumably was the bottom of the swimming pool – is an art space that is currently occupied by a series of looms of varying sizes and types. Each contained part-finished tapestries that suggested the huge effort that has to go into each. Upstairs, completed tapestries illustrating various techniques and styles are on display. We really enjoyed the experience.

To round out the cultural aspect of our Edinburgh trip, I also managed an hour or so in the Scottish National Portrait Gallery. The entrance hall is stunning and I wanted to see that again. Inside there was no special exhibition this time but the permanent displays – especially the modern section – were interesting enough.

*^{The Scottish National Portrait Gallery Atrium}*

^{The Scottish National Portrait Gallery: Two Unusual, Medical Portraits (By Ken Currie)}

Back home we have been enjoying an admittedly rather wet spring. The wild garlic, bluebells and cow parsley adorn the lanes and the woods. In the garden, the daffodils, the amelanchier and most of the tulips have been and gone but there are allium flower heads about to burst and green shoots everywhere. In our lush and green field cum orchard, the cowslips and wild geraniums have proliferated and our eyes are peeled for orchids.

*^{Exotic Garden Tulips And Perfect Apple Blossom}*

A recent visit to The Ethicurean with Middle Son and his partner for Sunday lunch included a wander around the gardens that provide many of the vegetable ingredients for the cooking. The lunch itself was multi-course but much more than a tasting menu; it was really imaginative, tasty and filling, and delivered at a perfectly slow pace in the gorgeous surroundings of a converted Victorian greenhouse. We’ll go again.

*^{The Rather Wonderful The Ethicurean Restaurant}*

Since then, rather inspired by The Ethicurean’s gardens, I have made progress in clearing most of the vegetable patches, planting beetroot, chard, onions and potatoes and getting bean, courgette and squash seeds on the go.

This year I have applied a method Jane used for some of her flower seeds to the germination of the beans seeds I recovered from my last two harvests. Instead of popping them in composted seed trays, I put them between two sheets of wet kitchen roll and put the result in zip lock plastic bags. I left the bags on the floor of our kitchen which has underfloor heating and, lo and behold, I had a 100% success rate for germination!

*^{My (Janes!) New Ziplock Plastic Bag Method Of Seed Germination}*

I have transferred the germinated beans to the small pots and now hope they will grow on with, unlike previous years, zero seed wastage. Success in a busy retirement schedule is sweet!

Life and Death

April 12, 2023 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

Spring is definitely with us after a very wet March. We have April showers – it even snowed for a minute or two earlier today – and spring flowers. The cherry blossom is out and there are lambs in the fields.

^{One Of Many Cherry Trees In Full Bloom In The Local Area}

The birds are marking out their territory and gathering material for their nests. During just 15 minutes of my walk to my Food Bank duties in Stroud yesterday I switched on the Merlin bird identification app on my phone and detected (and sometimes saw) 20 different bird varieties (plus a seagull and a buzzard that didn’t squawk at the right time). Spring is such a busy time for these little home builders and it was relieving and lovely to hear that our rural pathways are still home to such avian diversity.

*^{Birds Heard In 15 Minutes During A Local Walk}*

The outside temperatures are gradually rising with the prospect of heatwaves to come. At Easter, when Youngest Son and Middle Son came to stay for a couple of days and the weather was sunny, we managed our first outdoor lunch of the year.

*^{Random Roadside Bulbs On The Way To Food Bank}*

Spring really is a season of new life and promise.

Except that, this spring, we are mourning the passing of Jane’s mother who died peacefully last week in the care home we had all come to love and respect. Her death came as no surprise after a steady decline hastened by a fall but of course there is mood of sadness around the family. Easter and its Bank Holiday’s was a convenient pause for Jane to enable reflection on her relationship with her Mum before getting stuck into the administration of funeral arrangements. Death brings sadness but also a need for clear thinking about the fall out. Death balances out life.

Before the funeral we are off to Edinburgh to see Eldest Son, his partner and First Grandchild. That will be a great distraction and an antidote for Jane to the last couple of weeks of focus on looking after her Mum and then the mourning of her passing. Of course, discussions about Jane’s Mum and the making of funeral arrangements will continue, but it will be in the company of a little grandchild who will demonstrate as vividly as possible that life goes on.

A few days of tiny, effervescent youth and spring; what could be better!

Active Autumn

October 6, 2022 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

As I walked through woodland this morning amid a cascade of falling leaves, it was clear that Autumn is very much here again. September has been a time for harvest but also the last throes of summer-style travel and partying. I now see October as a time for buckling down for some rather delayed home-based administration and task tidy up before our next trip to Edinburgh in November and then the excitement of Christmas.

*^{Autumn Colour (In This Case, The Incongrouously Named Black Bryony)}*

September was certainly busy and was capped last weekend by a long-delayed visit to us by my Dad and my sister. That was quietly relaxing and allowed my Dad to catch up with developments in our house since his last, pre-Covid visit, and meet up with a few other local relatives. It also allowed us to jointly celebrate Middle Son (MS) and his partner moving into their newly-purchased, pretty, terraced house in Bristol. A few days ago, that hard-won purchase suddenly seemed in jeopardy as the Government made a big misstep that caused interest rates to surge and mortgage deals to be pulled from the market. Our very happy afternoon with MS and his partner was blessed by Virgin Money’s forbearance and lovely sunshine.

Earlier in the month, not only did I manage to visit London and Edinburgh, but I also attended Long-Suffering Wife’s (LSW’s) college reunion with a bunch of her fellow physiotherapy students 40 years on from their graduation in Leeds.

The reunion was held in Buxton which I had not visited for decades. We stayed in a very comfortable and central hotel (The Buxton Crescent Hotel) which produced substantial breakfasts and very good evening meals for the group. The whole event over a long weekend was an enjoyable mix of free time, a long walk across the local Peak District, and organised eating, drinking and socialising both in the hotel and in nearby bars and restaurants. There were a few other (non-physio) partners of LSW’s fellow graduates in attendance so I didn’t feel too out of place. There was a wide variety of personalities, and everyone was interesting in some way. It was a nice thing to do and LSW really enjoyed the mass catch-up.

^{On The Three Shires Walk Near Buxton (Starting In Mist At The Cat And Fiddle Pub, Finishing In A Bit Of Sun)}

Buxton itself is a lovely spa town with many impressive Georgian and Victorian limestone buildings – like a smaller version of Bath, which we know well, and similar to Harrogate which we visited on the way to Edinburgh last year. The evening/night life was surprisingly lively and well catered for by a large number of busy and interesting craft beer bars. We sampled a couple of those with and without the reunion entourage.

*^{A Variety Of Attractive Buildings In Buxton}*

On our ‘free day’, LSW and I went off for a fairly long but pleasant drive to Hardwick Hall. It’s an impressive late-Tudor building surrounded by attractive gardens that I recall – as I do Buxton – from holidays with my parents very many years ago. The weather was kind, the afternoon was lovely and it was great to get value from the life National Trust Membership that my parents bought us so generously when, I think, we got married.

Back in our home village, my schedule has been peppered by the normal smattering of walks, gardening, short shifts at the local Food Bank, my team’s football matches and Men’s Mental Fitness nights (which have helped salve the depression cause by the poor football results!).

*^{A Local Walk Under A Luminous Autumn Sky}*

LSW and I also went to a film showing – ‘Drawn to War’, a film about the life and work of the painter and Second World War artist Eric Ravilious. It was our first cinema outing together of the year and was very enjoyable due both to the content of the film and the novelty of the evening outing.

However, the recent Autumn highlight in the village was a substantial, superbly organised and hugely entertaining 50th birthday party of a friend of ours. The invitees were a mix of her relatives, long standing friends and more recently acquired friends from the village like ourselves. The entertainment was a combination of a bar, a wonderful buffet, an open sided marquee with a dance floor, a DJ, a couple of fire eaters (believe it or not – see below!) and varied, if increasingly inebriated, conversation. I’ve not danced so much for a decade and LSW and I both had great fun.

September has also been a time when I have reaped a harvest of onions and potatoes. Both have been surprisingly productive given the lack of rain during much of the summer. That shortage of rain hampered bean germination but judicious watering has saved some of the squash and chard.

*^{A Fraction Of This Year’s Garden Produce}*

Also, the dry, hot summer enabled me to grow a lot of tomatoes in an open vegetable plot for the first time since I left my allotment in London 25 years ago. Inevitably perhaps, most of the tomatoes are very green but, with our climate inexorably warming, I will try tomato growing again next year.

Finally, as I have in previous years, I find I have to comment on the late summer/early autumn flowering of our remaining two dahlia plants. I have simply never enjoyed cutting flowers and then displaying them in our kitchen/diner so much as I have these Café Au Lait dahlias. Their blooms are large, subtly coloured and, once they start, simply go on and on until the first frost. Now we are in October, those frosts will come soon enough but, for now, these dahlias continue to be a splendid echo of summer and a thoroughly rewarding aspect of Autumn.

Funeral Reunion

September 4, 2021 / fgrtommo / 1 Comment

My Mum’s funeral last week was as emotionally moving as expected. Dad did her proud with his arrangements. Mum would have loved the music, the simplicity, the intimacy and the fact that all her close family were all there to say goodbye.

I can’t actually recall the last time that we were all together on something other than Zoom; probably a decade or two have passed since we managed it. It was great that all three of our sons could take a break from work to be there. I recall how hard it is sometimes to get away from work for unplanned events but this one was a biggie.

*Dahlias, Cosmos And A Proliferation Of Tomatoes In My Dad’s Garden*

The celebration of Mum’s life was dominated by my Dad reading out a last letter he had written to her. This was the last of 354 letters that he had written daily to her when Mum’s care home stopped taking visitors last year because of the pandemic. Fortunately the care home had opened up again before Mum died so Dad replaced the series of letters with frequent visits and, charmingly, readings of short stories (mainly tales of Paddington Bear that Mum loved and which my sister and I had grown up with). This last letter, though, was especially poignant.

By the time Dad had finished reading the letter I (and I wasn’t alone) was tearful and a barely managed my brief recollection of a few relevant memories and Mum’s quiet love for us. My sister too said a few lovely words through the emotion. Then we all retired to Dad’s house for lunch which was a very pleasant affair that was full of chat about memories and next steps.

Fortunately my sister has been able to work from my Dad’s house for a week or so and then will take some holiday. They will continue the task of rationalising possessions acquired over decades but also, I’m sure, provide some mutual emotional support. Then, I hope that Dad can come and visit us in Gloucestershire for a while later this year. We move on…..

The flurry of activity around the funeral last week has folded back into the routine of quasi-lockdown life. We are starting to do the normal forms of socialising but mask wearing in shops and social distancing from all but some relatives and close friends seems to be a permanent part of our way of life now.

Youngest Son (YS) stayed with us before and after the funeral and between video shoots and we ventured to the local pub with him. We actually drank inside – such a novelty! To remind us that the pandemic is not over however, that same pub is now shut for 10 days due to a positive Covid test among the pub team. It ain’t over!

After taking YS back to the airport for his flight back to Belfast, Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I visited Tyntesfield House Gardens in Somerset.

*Tyntesfield House And Chapel, North Somerset*

The house and chapel are Victorian and were built in a rather loud gothic style by William Gibbs who apparently made his fortune from trading guano as fertiliser. The buildings are certainly a grand statement of his wealth and, on a less busy day, we will visit again and go inside to see the ornate rooms with their paintings and furniture.

*Tyntesfield House And Gardens Including Chillies Drying In The Greenhouse And Impressively Long Straight Rows Of Vegetable Plants*

The walled kitchen garden, orangery and dahlia beds were impressive and quite inspiring to walk around. Some of the dahlias were gorgeous and we arrived at the right time to see them at their best.

*Dahlias At Tyntesfield House Gardens – I Wanted Them All!*

We just have one dahlia in our garden (Café Au Lait which produces huge blooms that last well even when cut). However, my Dad has a lovely one in his garden I may be able to filch part of and I will try to find some room for some others and then protect them avidly from frost.

*One Of Our Cafe Au Lait Blooms – This One Slightly Pinker Than Usual*

Tyntesfield House was acquired by the National Trust in 2002. That LSW and I are members is thanks to my Mum and Dad who bought us life membership around the time we were married. We both hold on stubbornly to our original membership cards that are so old that they defy the automatic card reader systems the National Trust have installed, and which attract knowing looks from some of the National Trust staff. Those cards are still so valuable to us and are great reminders of the generosity and life-long interests of my dear Dad and, my now departed, Mum.

Resplendent Nature At Every Turn

July 22, 2020 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

Retirement has brought me closer to Nature and I seem to have had even more than my usual exposure to Nature in the last two weeks. The local walks have been particularly good. The rain in June and early July has made the pastures, hedgerows and trees a lush green and the recent sun has brought out the garden and wild flowers so they are now showing off their peak displays.

My Favourite Field – Filling With Maize This Year

One walk was especially spicy in underlining our closeness to Nature. We were crossing a field with a neighbour during a walk that we hadn’t undertaken for a while, when we saw another figure crossing the field at right angles to us. Thirty yards out, we could only see the man’s bare and bronze torso above the wheat. As we crossed paths though, it became clear that we had met – and then briefly engaged in conversation with – the infamous ‘Naked Rambler’. Our neighbour remarked that his naked rambling exploits are frequent since ‘he was brown all over with no tan lines’. I could only mutter that I hoped he looked out for stinging nettles. The encounter made our day.

The Naked Rambler (Picture Courtesy The Evening Standard – I Didn’t Have The B*lls To Take My Own Picture Of Him)

We also completed a series of walks when my Best Man (BM) visited us last weekend. He has been working from home and in isolation throughout lockdown and needed a break. Fortunately the weather was excellent and we were able to visit our now re-opened pub for our first sit down (outside) meal since lockdown started.

On A Local Walk: Strip Of Green Manure In Full Flower

A highlight during his stay was a long walk during which we saw a field sown with green manure coming extravagantly into flower. Another marvellous natural phenomenon was the sighting of a crazily large number of small white butterflies fluttering together in the sun and drinking from wet mud on our path. Both were uplifting sights.

Flowers In The Strip of Green Manure - Antirhinums, Phacelia, Sainfoin And Many More

Flowers In The Strip of Green Manure – Antirrhinums, Phacelia, Sainfoin, Bladder Campion And Many More

BM works for a large oil company which is trying to shift away from fuelling (literally) carbon emissions. His job is changing and intense. Even while he was with us, he had to prepare a short presentation that he was due to give on the following Monday. Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I were sufficiently intrigued by this that we signed up for the public event he was a panel member for and run by the ‘World Business Council for Sustainable Development’ entitled ‘Nature Action for a Healthy and Resilient Future’; what a couple of mouthfuls!

As I listened in to the webinar, I was reminded of my own corporate work life by the business jargon being used by the numerous presenters including BM, and how it flows off the tongues of business professionals. I was also left with a greater feeling of hope for Nature and the planet.

I suspect that the event was populated largely by the ‘green mouthpieces’ of the corporations that were represented. However, several sounded convincing about their company ambitions and commitments and the scale of the opportunity to turn our destruction of the planet around while creating millions of worthwhile jobs in new green industries was clear.

Optimistic-Looking Daisies

I have just started reading Wilding by Isabella Tree. She is so aptly named given that the book is the story of how a failing arable farm has been turned into a successful experiment for re-wilding a large tract of land in Sussex. The timeline at the start of the book shows how allowing nature to reclaim intensively farmed land can bring back flora and fauna diversity very quickly. Given the chance, Nature can recover surprisingly quickly and I’m enjoying Isabella’s account of her experience.

Butterflies Everywhere: Comma, Peacock, Small White, Ringlet And Skipper

I have continued to busy myself with some local climate action activities – my small push towards alleviating the pressure on Nature. There is also much to do in the garden and on the allotment given that we are in peak growth season for vegetables and weeds. We are thinking up creative ways to use the inevitable courgette mountain, we are eating chard with almost every meal and the runner bean avalanche is about to hit us. In the next week too, I will need to brush up on my blackcurrant jam making skills since I have a bumper blackcurrant crop this year.

Flowers Among The Vegetables On The Allotments

Nature is amazing. Just last week, we saw a recurrence of another incredible phenomenon we have been lucky enough to spot a few times before: the inundation of our home valley by seagulls predating on flying ants. It is almost unbelievable that the gulls will fly over 25 miles from the nearest coast on just the right day to catch the flying yellow meadow ants that rise from their nests in our neighbouring fields on just a couple of days a year; but there they were again.

Garden Views: Panorama From Our New Gate, Hollyhocks and First Use Of The New Fire Pit

Nature can also do us damage. Badgers rip up crops, deer eat the roses and strawberries, earwigs are eating the dahlias, blackfly are tormenting my beans and hay fever can be really annoying. The climate emergency and the creation of new human diseases when we encroach too much on the wild are macro problems far greater than my local problems with wildlife. The solutions to these are going to be challenging to find but my immersion in Nature this week underlines the importance of doing so, and gave me some more hope.

Pushing The Lockdown Boundary

May 27, 2020June 11, 2020 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

CroAt a time when the Governments special adviser, Dominic Cummings, is dominating the news with his transgressions beyond the coronavirus lockdown boundaries, we too are pushing the lockdown envelope – albeit in much less obvious, controversial or dramatic fashion. Our story is considerably less convoluted; we want to see our closest relatives and friends face to face.

Over the Bank Holiday weekend, Youngest Son (YS) offered to drive to London and back to collect Eldest Son (ES) and his girlfriend. This enabled them to stay for a couple of days at our house and spend extended time out of their little flat in which they have been rather cooped up. We eschewed hugging and touching but it was lovely to have them with us for a while and to catch up on their plans together. Their visit was a welcome break from our normal routine. It was an excuse to show off the garden and the local countryside and to eat slightly more luxuriously than usual. It also provided an extra couple of players for our rounds of Monopoly Deal (now all but cemented into our daily cycle of lockdown-life).

Not Socially Distanced (But Pretty Safe) Monopoly Deal

Not Strictly Socially Distanced (But Pretty Safe) Monopoly Deal

Long Suffering Wife’s (LSW’s) mother also visited us one afternoon (lockdown rule compliant) and a couple of other friends come over for a drink (non-compliant) last week. We have also continued a regular social distanced Sunday lunch drink in our garden with a couple of neighbours (marginally compliant). All these little events help pass the lockdown days in relaxed conversation in the continuingly gorgeous weather.

Peonies At Peak In The Garden

Gradually the lockdown is going to be relaxed. In some ways I don’t want the peace and quiet of the lockdown to end. But I know that the lockdown is hard for so many and, in any case, I’d love to be able to visit my Mum and stay with my Dad. I want to see the return of live music venues, sport, cafes and restaurants. I want to have a party! Instead of running an online village quiz (which fortunately was successful and fun) I want to participate in the village quiz in the village pub!

YS – a videographer by trade as Wilson Archer Films – has kept himself busy while staying with us with self-training, a week of work in London for London Flower School, helping with deliveries for the local community shop and (usually) thrashing LSW and I at Monopoly Deal. He has also been developing a video of our house and garden. This is to add to his portfolio as a real estate video producer and to help LSW, potentially, market the house as a location shoot in a no-Covid-19 future.

The Videographer At Work

This is all well and good, and LSW and I have loved having him and his chirpy energy around, but YS is desperate for lockdown relaxation so he can stop living with his parents, see his girlfriend again and set up a new chapter of his life with her in Belfast. Everyone wants to get back to something closer to normality.

Flowers From London Flower School Left Over After YS’s Shoot, Gracing Our Dining Table

Meanwhile, the days have largely continued to circle around the walk into town for the daily shopping, a walk in the brilliantly green woods or across fields carpeted with wild flowers, a bit of gardening, three meals a day and TV in the evenings (LSW and I really liked Normal People).

Underrated Cow Parsley On The Way To Forest Green

In the marvellous Spring weather all of this has felt like an illicit pleasure – knowing that key workers and many others are having a tough time, even as the lockdown rules slowly fall away.

Inquisitive Cows In the Field On the Hill Behind Our House – A Change From Endless Pictures Of Lambs!

My Retirement Journey

I've Retired! What Next?

Flowers