Fragmented Summer

August 16, 2023 / fgrtommo / 1 Comment

June this year was wonderfully sunny. The vegetables would have appreciated a little more rain but July certainly made up for that. Indeed, July and, so far, August have often felt autumnal and summer has only come in fits and starts. The sunny periods may have been intermittent but maybe that has helped us to appreciate the sun more on the occasions when it has shone on the unusually verdant countryside.

*^{Intermittent Bright Summer Sunshine On My Daily Walks Into Town}*

Our summer has sometimes felt as fragmented as the weather. The lack of any ties to school holidays and, much more recently, my retirement has meant that we don’t tend to book blocks of holiday through the summer months. As a result, we don’t have centrepiece diary commitments to schedule around. Instead, we have moved towards multiple shorter trips including those to our sons in Belfast and Edinburgh, plus a couple of day visits to Nottingham to check on my Dad during a period of ill-health.

^{The Wonderful Variations Of London’s Skylines}

Retirement means flexibility too. I was able a few weeks ago to piggy back, at relatively short notice, onto the back of a visit Jane was making to London to see a friend of hers. We could share the driving a bit and I caught up with an old friend of my own. I also took the opportunity to visit an exhibition of the sort that was part of my routine when we had a flat or sons in London. I miss those exhibition trips a lot. This one was a visit to the rather wonderful White Cube in Bermondsey.

*^{Anselm Kiefer At The White Cube Gallery, Bermondsey}*

I have been to this gallery several times and one of the most memorable visits was to see an exhibition by Anselm Kiefer. I wrote briefly here about that back in January 2020 just before Covid disrupted things. The monumentalism and scale of that exhibition is repeated in his latest works at The White Cube. I loved it and the White Cube spaces were perfect for it!

Kiefer’s works this time were based around the novel by James Joyce called Finnegan’s Wake. The novel is apparently (I’ve not tried to read it) a fractured mix of dream world and grim reality that deploys invented and combined words. The language of the novel is strewn across most of the works on show. While most of the phrases and sentences are nonsensical in this context, they added somehow to the mystery and sense of a dystopia as I moved from room to room.

*^{Detail From Various Anselm Kiefer Works At The White Cube Gallery}*

Goodness knows how the White Cube is funded – the exhibition was, as usual, free – and I fear removal of some of the works will require repolishing of the extensive polished concrete gallery floors. To be honest the huge piles of debris in a couple of the exhibition rooms were, for all their scale, harder to appreciate than the pictures on the walls. These were dense art works including rural scenes that worked for me close up and from observation across the huge rooms.

*^{‘Woman Will Water The Wild World Over’ By Anselm Kiefer}*

Those rooms were linked by a vast corridor stuffed with huge, dusty vitrines and crude floor-to-ceiling shelves full of… well, what were they full of? Just stuff! It was like walking through a museum of detritus but it was strangely compelling and all underlined by the sheer scale of the thing.

Another recent highlight has been a visit to Cambridge where I once – several decades ago – studied. I had not been back for quite a while and the reason this time was the wedding of my Best Man (BM). He lives nearby and we took up an Airbnb (which turned out to be outstanding) in his village and travelled into Cambridge twice: once for the formal registry element of the wedding and then again for a ceremony and reception held in BM’s and my old college, Peterhouse.

^{Our Outstanding Airbnb (Just the Left-Hand Portion Of The Building) From The Grounds}

^{Peterhouse Main Quadrangle and Chapel (Left) And My Old H Staircase In Gisborne Court (Right)}

The whole weekend was a delightful mix of ceremony, catch up with a few old friends and meetings with a number of new acquaintances – both local and international – who were very interesting and easy to talk to. They really helped to make the whole weekend event lovely. The event generated some nostalgia too as the reception dinner was held in the main Peterhouse Dining Hall where, about 50 years ago, I ate college meals every day. I didn’t appreciate the history or the grandeur of the college buildings half as much when I was living there as I did during this fleeting visit.

One other prompt for a less welcome bit of recollection was that Jane, and a few others at the wedding, contracted Covid there. Fortunately, I have avoided it again but it was a reminder that the pandemic was not long ago and that damned virus is still very much around.

During our stay in and around Cambridge, Jane and I went to Kettle’s Yard to see an exhibition of Palestinian embroidery over the last century that Jane had read about. Even someone like me with no real understanding of the intricacies of embroidery could appreciate the delightful patterns and muted colours of the clothing on display in the first room of everyday women’s wear.

*^{Palestinian Embroidery At Kettles Yard; Everyday Wear In The 1920’s}*

The exhibition went on to show more formal and more ornate wear and the way each local area had its distinctive styles and motifs. The exhibition then tracked the changes in Palestine embroidery brought about by history since the Second World War.

*^{Palestinian Embroidery: Formal Wear (1921)}*

First the United Nations Partition Plan for Palestine in 1947, the subsequent displacement of about 70,000 Palestinians, and then the 1967 Six-Day War all disrupted and then broke much of the cottage industry of embroidery crafting in the Palestinian villages. Enforced movement of Palestinians mixed up the local pockets of unique styling. Materials such as silks from France became unattainable and were replaced by cheaper products. Small handicraft workshops were often replaced by factories. The end results, outside of a few traditional, small-scale operations, became bland and almost garish.

Finally, following and during the Intifadas of the 1980s and 1990s the embroidery became a means of protest. The exhibition showed how the defiance of the Palestinians led them to incorporate the Palestinian flag into their embroidery designs as a symbol of resistance.

The exhibition was an interesting mix of video and clothing, and of art and history.

*^{Palestinian Dress Post Intifada With The Palestinian Flag Embedded In Designs}*

Back at home the advent of the new football season, together with the Women’s Football World Cup, is starting to take up time at Forest Green Rovers’ football stadium and in front of the telly.

*^{Evening Football At Forest Green Rovers – We Lost (Again) But It Was A Nice Sunset}*

Also, we have entertained Eldest Son, his wife and First Grandchild (FG) with a number of relatives who were keen to meet the little one. I had a great time with FG and my phone is full of video of him that Jane and I watch on repeat. Now we are looking forward to entertaining Youngest Son, his partner and some of their (and our) friends from their time in Australia. Then we are off to Ireland for another wedding. For a quietly retired chap like me, summer may feel a bit fragmented but it also feels pretty full!

Edinburgh: Same Trip, Different Model

July 11, 2023 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

For our latest visit to Edinburgh, we changed the accommodation model from what we have done in the past. This time we stayed in an Airbnb, converted mews building rather than stay in Eldest Son (ES) and his wife’s flat. That meant we felt we could stay in Edinburgh for longer – a full week this time – and not be a burden on them as they worked and went about their daily lives.

*^{Edinburgh New Town (From Calton Hill) – Where First Grandchild Lives!}*

Because our accommodation was so close to them, we were able to pop over for, or just after, breakfast to see First Grandchild (FG) and, on his nursery days, enjoy the novelty of taking him to his nursery. Overall, we saw ES, his wife and FG as much as ever, but they and we could also enjoy a bit more independence. It worked for us anyway!

Our first few days were those when FG doesn’t go to nursery and so we had fun with him in Inverleith Park, the Royal Botanic Garden and the National Portrait Gallery (where FG ignored the art but loved going up and down the flights of steps). We also loved playing with him at home playing with his toys. It had been almost two months since we had last seen FG and, at his age (just over 18 months), that is a long time and a lot of growing up. The way he now plays with his toys using his imagination in conversation with them is the main development I noticed.

*^{Edinburgh Skyline From Inverleith Park}*

The highlight of these early days of our stay was a car trip to Jupiter Artland to the south west of Edinburgh. This is an outdoor sculpture park exhibiting a wide variety of works of contemporary artists set in over 100 acres of woodland and open grassland. It is a very impressive venture founded in 2009 by philanthropist art collectors Robert and Nicky Wilson.

*^{Jupiter Artland: Works By Shane Waltner, Ian Hamilton Finlay, Anish Kapoor And Cornelia Parker}*

FG walked with us but was a little bemused by our occasional sheltering under trees to avoid the showers. He seemed to particularly enjoy the ‘Weeping Girls’ (rather macabre bronze figures looking very sad) by Laura Ford and the ‘Temple of Apollo’ by Ian Hamilton Finlay which had the sort of steps that he loves.

*^{Jupiter Artland: One Of The ‘Weeping Girls’ By Laura Ford}*

I believe that he also enjoyed the snacks at the café. While he tried those out, I popped off to get a closer look at the earthworks by Charles Jencks that we had driven past on the way in to Jupiter Artland. They are larger versions of those outside the Scottish Museum of Modern Art and are quite dramatic, especially as the heavens opened for another shower.

*^{Jupiter Artland: Charles Jencks’ ‘Cells Of Life’}*

On the Sunday we had a lovely lunch with ES’s wife’s parents. ES has certainly married into a family that knows hospitality and how to cook. We had great breakfasts fueled by bread from excellent Archipelago Bakery and delightful gooseberry jam home made by ES’s mother-in-law. On our Edinburgh visits ES’s wife has repeatedly demonstrated calm and efficient cooking of lovely meals and she did so again. ES wasn’t to be outshone and he treated us to a very tasty vegetable curry too. Overall, and as usual, we ate very well.

We also drank well including at our favourite Edinburgh bar, Spry and at Kay’s Bar which is a tiny, intimate pub tucked away in a side street right next to our Airbnb accommodation.

Once we had dropped FG off at nursery – he seemed entirely unfazed by the change in those accompanying him – Jane and I had several hours in which to relax and see the sights of Edinburgh. Our main excursion within Edinburgh was past the noisy royalists and noisier anti-royalists lining the Royal Mile to watch King Charles receive the Scottish crown jewels, and on to the National Museum of Scotland.

*^{‘Not My King’ Protesters On The Royal Mile, Edinburgh}*

There we saw an exhibition called Beyond the Little Black Dress. This traced the history of the little black dress as a fashion item since the 1920’s to the present (and, with a bit of foresight, into the future). Even I could see that the dresses were spectacularly good and almost all the famous designers I know were represented.

*_{The Little Black Dress Exhibition At The Scottish National Museum}*

Rather than follow a purely chronological route, the exhibition was mainly structured around themes that have underpinned the use of the little black dress by designers and those who wear it. There were sections on ‘Well Mannered Black’ (emphasising elegance during cocktail hour), ‘Spiritual Black’ (reflecting religious undertones), ‘Subcultural Black’ (such as the Goth look), and ‘Subversive Black’ (including the erotic and nuances of bondage). Others showed, for instance, how Japanese designers used different ‘Shades of Black’ and how sustainable fashion is emerging.

*^{Little Black Dresses At The Exhibition At The Scottish National Museum (With A 3-D Printed Dress Bottom Right)}*

I liked the displays very much and I felt I learnt something in an area I know little about. I was particularly struck by the last exhibit which was a short video called ‘Her Dreams Are Bigger’ by Osman Yousefzada. This showed poor textile workers in Bangladesh – the sort that make mass-produced little black dresses – and related what they imagined the wearers of the clothes they make do and think. The punchline is in the title of the video. It was quite unexpectedly moving.

While Jane went off to peruse shops, I walked over to Old Calton Burial Ground and Calton Hill. Both offered great views of Edinburgh in wonderfully sunny weather and clear air.

^{Old Calton Burial Ground}

I hadn’t seen the burial ground before and it is a secluded, private space easily overlooked by tourists. It is dominated by a tall obelisk erected in memory of members of the Friends of the People who campaigned for universal suffrage in the late 18th century but who were deported to Australia for their efforts. It got me researching ‘one man one vote’ campaigns and I was amazed to find out how long it took for rich property owners to lose their monopoly of electoral privilege. It was only in the early 20th century that the UK passed legislation to enable all men to vote; womens’ suffrage followed shortly after.

*^{View Across Edinburgh Old Town From Calton Hill}*

On another day, Jane and I popped into The Scottish Gallery, a private gallery which had completely changed its exhibitions since the last time we visited and now included some lovely porcelain pottery by Jack Doherty (not someone I knew but who Jane follows and likes).

Jane and I also visited both buildings comprising the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art where I briefly revisited the retrospective of Alberta Whittle’s work (and, as during our last visit, enjoyed the abstract watercolours more than the more prominent fabric and photo-collage works). We wandered through the galleries and again I was struck by the number of famous artists (that is, the ones I know!) represented on the walls. It was nice to be able to spend the time rather aimlessly taking in such a wide range of art.

^{Modern Art Galleries of Scotland 1 and 2}

The relative flexibility of our longer stay in Edinburgh than usual (without impinging overmuch on ES and his wife) and the fact that we drove up (with no recharging delays or issues at all) and so had a car with us, afforded the opportunity to travel further afield. I’ll cover our day trip to Glasgow separately……

Breaking the Routine – To Visit and Be Visited

June 11, 2023October 7, 2024 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

After Jane’s Mother’s funeral early last month, we had visits from my Dad and my sister and then my Best Man (BM). A quiet week followed before we headed off to Belfast to see Youngest Son (YS) and his partner. I’ve written a lot about my retirement settling me into a new structure of daily routine but these visits were a nice break from that and forced changes to our settled pattern of everyday life – a beneficial shake up.

It had been quite a while since my Dad and sister had visited us. Whilst there have been no structural changes to the house or garden since their last visit, the garden has matured. The weather was largely fine and the garden was approaching its best in terms of colour and variety. This, despite the loss of several small shrubs and many of the ornamental grasses during the cold and wet of late Winter and early Spring.

We ventured out on a few short local walks together while my Dad and sister were with us. Unfortunately, the bluebells in the woods on the way into town were well past their best but there was enough to see and the strolls were pleasant and largely sunlit.

We also had an excellent dinner at The Woolpack Inn in Slad near Stroud (thanks Dad!). This pub was made famous by the poet, Laurie Lee and it’s a great venue to go to with visitors to Gloucestershire. On one hand it looks like what people typically envisage an old rural pub to be (the toilets are still outside!) and the atmosphere is intimate and cosy. On the other hand, it offers modern, excellent food, and smiling but unoppressive service. In addition, I had a really well-kept pint of India Pale Ale.

*^{Double Rainbow From Our Dinner Table Window At The Woolpack}*

Later in the week, the arrival of my BM, an old friend from university, was dominated by his exciting news that he is getting married. We met his fiancé, a lovely Chinese woman, in 2020 just before the Covid lockdown. After a lockdown apart, they are now together in Kenya and planning their wedding. It’s a lovely story of late life (for him, anyway) romance and we enjoyed catching up with that and the other developments in BM’s life during good food and long walks.

Our trip to Belfast was long awaited. YS and his partner bought a house there at the end of last year and we have been keen to visit it and them since then. YS wanted to settle into the house – and get the spare bedroom renovated – before inviting us. Then that invitation was postponed by YS and his partner taking on the responsibility for a large and lively puppy. We finally arrived to meet ‘Reggie’! He is a disruptive handful but they love him despite his chewing of the furniture and the digging up of the lawn.

The house is already great and has a lot of potential. I liked the local area, Ormeau, very much; it is a much larger residential area than I remembered with several roads with pretty Victorian terraces and later rows of larger, well-built houses. There are a smattering of attractive independent businesses on the main road and river walks and the Belfast Botanic Gardens and Ulster Museum are nearby.

*^{Inside The Belfast Botanic Gardens Palm House}*

We visited the Botanical Garden Palm House briefly but spent far longer in the Ulster Museum. This has a very diverse set of exhibits and attractions set in an airy combination of old and new buildings. Since YS moved to Belfast, I have focused more than before on articles and television programmes about Ireland but my understanding of its history remains thin; the museum provided a lot of reminders and filled in a lot of gaps.

*^{Inside The Ulster Museum With Porcelain Works By Frances Lambe And Nuala O’Donovan}*

As well as displays about Ulster and Northern Ireland history there was some beautiful craftmanship on show. Overall, it is well worth a (free!) visit and I’m sure we will go again.

The weather in Belfast was noticeably cooler than back in England but it was mainly sunny and clear; perfect for walks along the coast to the east of Belfast and around the green enclaves of Belfast along the Lagan River – both with and without Reggie.

*^{Walking With Reggie in Belvoir Park Forest, Belfast}*

*^{The Path On The South Side Of The Lagan Estuary}*

We were also able to leave Reggie so we could visit YS’s place of work in a renovated set of warehouses and factories in East Belfast. His offices weren’t open but we were able to sample a beer (and a few games of Bananagrams – YS loves games!) in the Boundary Brewing Taproom next door.

YS’s partner’s business (Restore Osteopathy) is more centrally located in the Cathedral Quarter. Here she practices not only osteopathy in a very attractive treatment room but also leads yoga and Pilates classes in two large, ideally suited rooms. It’s a wonderful space for what she does. Both YS and his partner have more than found their feet in Belfast.

*^{YS’s Partner’s Yoga Spaces And Treatment Room}*

Belfast itself is very lively and seems to have so much potential if only the politics would calm down and business could invest with even more certainty. It is a small city compared to London. But, like Edinburgh (which is about 50% bigger) it is a capital city, has some impressive things to see and is attracting increasing numbers of young people setting up new businesses.

Great coffee houses and interesting and enjoyable restaurants are popping up across the city. On this trip we ate at EDŌ where we had a welcome chance to catch up with YS’s partner’s parents (thanks for dinner guys!) and Waterman House. We breakfasted on trendy bread from an bakery (Bakari) apparently using Icelandic recipes.

*^{Waterman House Restaurant With A Large Painting Of Belfast By Colin Davidson}*

Being visited and visiting others disrupts our well-worn micro-routines. This is a good thing. Having YS ask us whether we want a beer at 4.30pm instead of waiting till our traditional 6pm drinking time is a good challenge. Not finding time to do the Quick Crossword at 5pm is actually ok for a day or two. Having to scrabble around in the depths of a cupboard for our sugar bowl for a visitor that takes sugar in their coffee isn’t much trouble really. Dealing with the issues of a new puppy is unsettling but helps to keep us on our toes. Seeing new places and finding out about them is always interesting. We should, and will, do more and I should avoid getting stuck in my ways.

Life and Death

April 12, 2023 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

Spring is definitely with us after a very wet March. We have April showers – it even snowed for a minute or two earlier today – and spring flowers. The cherry blossom is out and there are lambs in the fields.

^{One Of Many Cherry Trees In Full Bloom In The Local Area}

The birds are marking out their territory and gathering material for their nests. During just 15 minutes of my walk to my Food Bank duties in Stroud yesterday I switched on the Merlin bird identification app on my phone and detected (and sometimes saw) 20 different bird varieties (plus a seagull and a buzzard that didn’t squawk at the right time). Spring is such a busy time for these little home builders and it was relieving and lovely to hear that our rural pathways are still home to such avian diversity.

*^{Birds Heard In 15 Minutes During A Local Walk}*

The outside temperatures are gradually rising with the prospect of heatwaves to come. At Easter, when Youngest Son and Middle Son came to stay for a couple of days and the weather was sunny, we managed our first outdoor lunch of the year.

*^{Random Roadside Bulbs On The Way To Food Bank}*

Spring really is a season of new life and promise.

Except that, this spring, we are mourning the passing of Jane’s mother who died peacefully last week in the care home we had all come to love and respect. Her death came as no surprise after a steady decline hastened by a fall but of course there is mood of sadness around the family. Easter and its Bank Holiday’s was a convenient pause for Jane to enable reflection on her relationship with her Mum before getting stuck into the administration of funeral arrangements. Death brings sadness but also a need for clear thinking about the fall out. Death balances out life.

Before the funeral we are off to Edinburgh to see Eldest Son, his partner and First Grandchild. That will be a great distraction and an antidote for Jane to the last couple of weeks of focus on looking after her Mum and then the mourning of her passing. Of course, discussions about Jane’s Mum and the making of funeral arrangements will continue, but it will be in the company of a little grandchild who will demonstrate as vividly as possible that life goes on.

A few days of tiny, effervescent youth and spring; what could be better!

Visiting Two Sons

February 20, 2023February 20, 2023 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

A couple of weekends ago we drove the 350 miles north to Edinburgh to get another hugely welcome dose of Eldest Son (ES), his wife and their delightful son. My dodgy back more than held up through the drives up and down, the weather was clear and dry, the electric car charging points we used were all working and available, and so both journeys were smooth.

*^{The (Long) Road To Edinburgh At Keele Services}*

Throughout our visit, First Grandchild (FG) was an unalloyed joy. He only had one 30 minute spell when he was tired and grumpy, but he is now old enough to be distractible and consolable. Whilst his parents have to deal with more of the everyday stresses and strains (and some very early mornings) than I can really remember from our own parenting days, they are settling into their own parenthood, married life and their flat; and FG seems to be loving life!

We had many little trips out with the little one including to the National Museum of Scotland and the Royal Botanic Garden Edinburgh. Both venues have become fixtures in our itinerary for every trip since they are both so toddler-friendly and free (while presumably relying in large part on donations).

We managed a trip out to South Edinburgh with FG, ES and wife to a lovely, relatively new café (Elliott’s) and we twice slipped into Spry Wine Shop and Bar which is, so far, my favourite bar in Edinburgh. Jane commented that being on our own in Spry felt like being naughtily awol from grand-parenting duties but we did babysit later to enable ES and his wife to visit the same bar one evening.

It was a lovely few days of catch-up, good food and of being able to see, first hand, First Grandchild’s developing physicality, brainpower and, perhaps most of all, his sense of humour. The videos we now play every day (sometimes multiple times a day) are those of him mucking about and giggling. As grandparents he is just an absolute treat and we are lucky to be able to see him every couple of months or so.

*^{Grey Skies Over Edinburgh From The Royal Botanical Gardens}*

We were able to visit Middle Son and his partner in Bristol shortly after our return from Edinburgh. A highlight was to be able to see, open/close and touch their new bedroom wardrobes. These were custom made by a craftsman cabinet maker from our village who is near retirement but who is very skilled and has done work in the past in our house. We are so pleased we could help make the connection to him. The wardrobes looked great.

We then all went to a very swish new Spanish restaurant called Paco Tapas which is run by an apparently Michelin starred chef (Peter Sanchez-Inglesias). His reputation and that of his kitchen clearly goes before him and brings in the crowds – the restaurant was packed despite a cost of living crisis and relatively high prices. Certainly the food was very good and some of the small plates were exceptional. I especially liked the lamb rump, pork ribs, patatas bravas and citrusy fennel. I also loved that I faced the kitchen where much was cooked over open flames in a way that provided a bit of extra theatre.

The restaurant was in an area of Bristol that I didn’t know on the south bank of the Avon estuary called Wapping Wharf. It was clearly once a heavily used port area. Large, old cranes still dominate the harbourside while rail tracks criss-cross the roads. There were still many boats on the quayside from modern cruisers (including one surmounted by a helicopter!), to small cargo ships, to The Matthew of Bristol which is a reconstruction of the boat John Cabot used to discover Newfoundland in 1497.

*^{‘The Matthew At Bristol’ And Princes Wharf Cranes}*

It was raining so we didn’t loiter but the wharf and nearby marinas, container-based shopping units and restaurants looked interesting and meriting another visit. Indeed, visiting the cities that our sons have moved to over the last year – Edinburgh, Bristol and Belfast – is one of our great pleasures these days. However, later this week we are taking a break from that cycle to visit Paris…… whoop, whoop!

Three Property Purchases and a Funeral

December 19, 2022 / fgrtommo / 1 Comment

Last month we went to a funeral for a very popular, lovely, family man almost 10 years younger than me. He had died suddenly leaving his family and friends shocked and bereft. It was an absolutely packed and emotional church service – he was a terrific guy who was enormously popular – followed by an equally packed reception. The whole occasion was very moving and I have thought about it a lot since.

Of course, the overriding feeling during the service and afterwards was sadness that it represented a life cut short, especially as he was so full of life, he had looked so well and was so obviously a vital part of his family, the organisation he worked for and his local community. However, the speeches and readings at the funeral were largely an uplifting celebration of his life. There were many amusing anecdotes and also a lovely poem by David Harkins that provided a positive slant on death that gave a little boost even in such a sad situation.

You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Into this mix of shock, sadness and a celebration of a life well lived, was a feeling of being the recipient of good fortune in that I am still here and reasonably healthy. I have seen three sons settle with three delightful partners and seen Eldest Son produce a wonderful child with his wife. And, this year, I’ve seen all three sons purchase homes with their partners that are each very different but which seem very well suited to each pair; a flat in Edinburgh, a terrace house in Bristol and a semi-detached house in Belfast.

Old age may bring aches, pains and worse but it is a privilege to have had longevity to be able to see our sons grow and establish themselves in the world, to be happy and to establish a platform into which they could introduce new life. As I stood in the crowded church at the funeral, I thought: lucky me.

*^{Late Afternoon Walk With Middle Son And His Partner Near Their New Home In Bristol}*

Even as Christmas approaches and we look forward to hosting our sons and their partners at various times over the Christmas period, Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I are starting to think about making the most of our time with a few trips next year. First, we want to get to Belfast to see Youngest Son’s new house but we will be trying to visit Edinburgh too and, I hope, spending smaller but more numerous fragments of time in nearby Bristol. Plus, after a few years of abstinence, we want to travel abroad again.

Meanwhile, I continue to potter through my local routine of walking, shopping, cooking, and working a bit for the local Climate Action Network and Food Bank. In recent cold, clear weather, the local walks have been a real treat.

Plus, of course, I have been watching a lot of football at the World Cup. Qatar may have been a crazy choice for a number of reasons but the overall quality of the football has been great. For all the concern about the Qatari views on LGBTQ rights and workers rights, it has been a pleasant change to see the joyous, ebullient crowds in the stadia in contrast to the thuggery and tears at Wembley at the Euros a couple of years ago.

My normal routine was also interrupted but enhanced by a trip to Lewes in Sussex. I tagged along with LSW who wanted to visit a specific shop called Freight there. It was a long way to travel for a shop but it was very much LSWs thing and Lewes is a very attractive town.

*^{Harvey’s Brewery And St Michael’s Church, Lewes}*

Harvey’s brewery is based in the town and the smell of hops was delightful as we walked down the high street. It is a smell that reminds me of my home town of Reading which was the home of Courage breweries in my youth. I love it.

After a very good value and pleasant lunch at Bill’s, LSW and I split up for a bit. While LSW surveyed the shops, I wandered around the town’s castle and gardens. The gardens are a bit bleak at this time of year but the weather was fine and the views from the visitor-friendly castle were pretty impressive in all directions.

*^{Views Of And Views From Lewes Castle}*

Since getting back home, the weather has been very cold and then surprisingly snowy. We had about seven inches of snow and it stuck around for almost a week. My Yaktrax Ice Grips allowed me to continue my normal round of walks to and from the local towns and the frost and snow made the local countryside en route even prettier than usual. A week of such weather is, though, enough in my book; I am looking forward to temperatures rising a little bit before Christmas.

*^{Frosty Weather In Nearby Ruskin Mill Valley}*

And so on to Christmas! Hopefully our sons and their partners will be able to avoid the issues caused by strikes and weather to make it down to us from their various new abodes. Then we can feel so lucky all over again…..

*^{A Cold And Not-So-Lucky Grey Heron In Ruskin Mill Valley}*

Onwards to Dundee and Edinburgh

December 4, 2022 / fgrtommo / 1 Comment

Having stayed a couple of nights at the small, tasteful and quirky Taybank hotel, Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I moved on and stayed for further couple of nights in Dundee at a large, modern Premier Inn. This was right on the Tay estuary, over which we had a great but very windswept view.

It was also conveniently close to the new V&A Design Museum outpost in Dundee. This is a wonderful building, designed by Kengo Kuma. The museum provides a video explanation by Kuma of why the museum looks like it does and that made it even more interesting for me.

The weather was intermittently very wet (dreich is the appropriate Scottish word I believe), so we went to the dry comfort of the V&A twice. We took in not only the standing exhibitions, but also the temporary ones including a very comprehensive and wide ranging one about Plastic: ‘The Remaking of Our World’. Fortunately that was every bit as interesting as the big exhibitions I have seen in recent years in the V&A London. It’s great that Dundee has such an impressive centrepiece.

*^{The V&A And RRS Discovery And Some Sun!}*

*^{V&A Dundee: Part Of The Plastics Exhibition}*

While in Dundee, LSW did start to eat again following the illness she had picked up from First Grandchild (FG) the previous weekend. However, she quickly regretted it and, with the rain still persistent, our movements were limited. Then, for a while, the weather relented and we did make it to the McManus Art Gallery and Museum. This is a lovely looking building exhibiting proudly the seafaring and industrial history of Dundee, its art and its most famous people. Then,, as the weather closed in again, we visited the Dundee Contemporary Arts (DCA) centre.

*^{The McManus Galleries, Dundee (And More Sun!)}*

At the DCA we saw an exhibition by Manuel Solano. He became blind after contracting AIDS and, incredibly, the exhibition contained just work that he had produced since losing his sight. Another interesting hour was passed out of the showers.

*^{Manuel Solano In The Big Spaces Of The Dundee Contemporary Art Gallery}*

While at the DCA we also saw Living, a new and very moving film starring Bill Nighy. He is perfect for the lead role and is supported by excellent acting all-round in a really lovely film. We both enjoyed it hugely.

It was great to have visited Dundee and to see a different Scottish city. The weather changed our plans of what to do there and the rain reinforced our impression that the car was king along the city’s coastline since we seemed to spend a lot of time getting wet waiting for the little green man lights and for the traffic to allow us to cross. But, given the tricky weather blowing in from the East, and given that LSW wasn’t fully operational, we did a lot of good things in Dundee.

*^{View From Our Dundee Premier Inn Room (When It Wasn’t Sunny!)}*

On our way back to Edinburgh via the coastal road around East Fife we had to take a couple of diversions to avoid flooding. We spotted the huge waves off the coast as we passed the famous golf course and lovely buildings of St Andrews and decided to stop at the fishing village of Crail on the easternmost coast of Fife to take a closer look. We parked and walked down pretty, narrow lanes to the harbour. As I rounded a corner to get a closer look at the breakers and take a souvenir picture, I was astounded to be instantaneously splattered by sea spray even though the sea was 40-50 yards away. It really was startling weather.

We drove on along the coast and stopped at a recommended coffee house in St Monans (The Giddy Gannet) where LSW managed half a scone. Then we pressed on and had lunch at The Ship Inn right on the coast in Elie where LSW watched me eat a tasty plate of fish and chips with all the trimmings. Then, with one of us rather more stuffed than the other, we set off for a final 36 hours or so in Edinburgh.

Remarkably given the pressures and events of the last few days, Eldest Son (ES) and his wife were entertaining again (with help from her Mum), this time to celebrate her Dad’s birthday. It was a lovely evening with, as usual, lovely food and a chance to meet one of ES’s new uncles-in-law and his wife. Gradually LSW and I are getting to know our newly extended family.

To round off a momentous and lovely week in Scotland, (lovely despite what viruses and the weather occasionally threw at us), we had a few hours with FG including a visit to the National Museum of Scotland. We had taken him there earlier in the year and he loved it again even though he was still recovering from his illness. I previously vowed to take him to this wonderful museum whenever possible when in Edinburgh and that vow stands; it is so exciting for him and, as he grows up, I think it will retain his interest (no pressure FG!)

A Wedding and a Birthday

November 27, 2022August 4, 2025 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

Amid much happiness, our Eldest Son (ES) and his partner were married a couple of weekends ago. Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I had a lovely time in Edinburgh celebrating this huge event with them. What made it extra special for us was that ES and his (now) wife pared down the events of the weekend to a very intimate affair. Everyone who took part was someone very close to the marrying couple. That meant that every conversation with everyone in attendance felt meaningful.

The Registry Office was a grand building with pleasantly decorated rooms and an overseer of the process who achieved the right balance of formality and relaxed bonhomie. First Grandchild (FG), was rather unwell but nonetheless, was well behaved, wasn’t sick on anyone’s dress and loved playing with the room’s long curtains. ES looked smart and the bride looked stunning. As they shared their home-made vows, my tears welled up; their personalisation of the exchange was really moving.

Later in the afternoon and well into the evening, a wedding reception was held at the married couple’s new flat. The flat looked great and was just the right size for a party of about 30 enthusiastic relatives and friends. A few of the latter were fellow new parents who brought contemporaries of FG which added to the lovely, informal conviviality. Everyone was very happy.

*^{Lovely Wedding Reception Table Layout In The Married Couple’s Flat}*

The mantelpieces and tables had been beautifully decorated and set out by ES’s new parents in law. The caterers knew what they were doing (they had been under close instruction from ES’s wife), the food was excellent, and the drinks and conversation flowed. FG was excited by the hubbub and rallied at the important moments to be giggling sweetness itself, despite his illness. The speeches were short and heartfelt and the intimacy of the event shone throughout. We loved it – not only the fact that ES was now married, but that he and his new wife (especially!) had organised what seemed to be an ideal way of doing it.

*^{First Grandchild (FG) Checking The Wedding Presents}*

On the following day, we refreshed with a sunny morning walk around the Royal Botanic Garden and then met up with a very small number of close relatives for a wonderful lunch at Timberyard. LSW and I had been there once before and had been very impressed by the food, decor and ambience. We were very impressed again. It was the centrepiece to another lovely day.

^{Walking In Sunny Royal Botanic Gardens, Edinburgh With Youngest And Middle Sons And Their Partners}

My Dad and sister went back to rest at their hotel. It had been marvellous that they had been able to come and they had made the most of their visit to Edinburgh by taking in a couple of art exhibitions as well as the wedding events. Meanwhile, LSW and I retreated to the Air BnB that we had rented for ourselves, our Middle and Youngest Son and their partners. There, we allowed our emotions to settle quietly in front of a second rate romantic comedy and assorted crisps. What a couple of days!

And then the fun went on! The Monday following the wedding was FG’s first birthday. Unfortunately FG was still unwell and relatively subdued but he enjoyed early use of some of the presents and a trip to one of the local playgrounds. Unlike him, we will remember his first birthday for ever.

*^{Wedding Cake Cleverly Converting To Birthday Cake (FG Loves Penguins!)}*

We left Edinburgh late that afternoon leaving ES and wife to ponder how to manage FG’s illness while both are holding down a job working from home on the back of little sleep. At that point we assumed that the conundrum they faced would be only for a day or two – it turned out to be another week. Oh, the joys of parenthood!

Meanwhile, LSW and I set off for Dunkeld on the River Tay, on the southern edge of the Highlands for rather more rest and relaxation than the newly married couple were going to get.

Task Oriented Autumn

November 9, 2022June 9, 2023 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

A few posts ago I mentioned that I had started going to a Mental Fitness For Men group under the auspices of Talk Club. Our local pub landlord has arranged weekly Talk Club sessions and I have made it to most of them since they started a few months ago. The sessions are of fixed format but the people who turn up each week vary so there is always something new to listen to as well as, usually, something new to say.

I’ve found the meetings useful in that they help me frame what I am grateful for and what I’m going to do in the next week to make things feel better for myself. However, I do often feel daunted by the lucidity with which most others in the weekly groups talk about the way they feel. In comparison I tend to fall back into talking about things I have done and things I’m going to do. I have explained to the group (and myself) that I tend to feel happiest when I am ticking off tasks on my to-do list but I suspect that I need to get deeper into how I feel about life rather than describing tasks.

Having said that, I have felt a certain contentment that, by and large, I have done what I said I would do over the last few weeks. The tasks have varied from raking up the scythed and strimmed grass in the meadow (into piles I don’t quite know what to do with), to harvesting the last summer crops and gathering seed for next year, to production of a string of documents I promised for the local Climate Action Network group that I belong to.

*^{Not Quite A Crown Prince Squash. Grown From Gathered 2021 Seed And Reverted From F1 Hybrid – Tasty Though!}*

Today, post-Foodbank duties, I am even finally managing to get around to making crab apple jelly which is a task that has been on my to-do list for a few weeks. Overall, October and early November has been a good month for tiny achievements amongst my retirement routine!

*^{Making Crab Apple Jelly – Tree -> Apples -> Straining -> Jelly! (First Of Two Batches)}*

There have been a few other high points recently. Middle Son (MS) and his partner have moved from London to Bristol – just 45 minutes away. That means that we will see them more often. For example, Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I were delighted when they popped over for an impromptu dinner a couple of Fridays ago. It was lovely to have a normalised drop-in-type arrangement with one of our sons rather than have to think about days packing, travelling and staying away from home.

Not that those sorts of visits are not welcome. We are off to Edinburgh again later this week and can’t wait to see First Grandchild (FG) again (and his parents!) for the first time in over two months. It’s going to be a special visit this time to celebrate not only FG’s first birthday, but also Eldest Son (ES) and his partner’s marriage. I’m so glad they have chosen a relatively low key way of getting married and celebrating that with a few close relatives. However, the event is momentous nonetheless and it will be lovely to have all our boys, their partners, my Dad and my sister all together with FG in one place at the same time.

We have also had some old friends come to visit us for a weekend. We have been rather poor at inviting people over for almost anything since the Covid pandemic; we seem to have just got out of that pattern of being. But it was great to see these long standing and close friends again. We had an active but relaxed time with them that culminated in a delightful walk in the Slad Valley and then an excellent lunch at The Woolpack (of Laurie Lee fame).

*^{The Slad Valley Near Stroud Between Autumn Showers}*

Much of the rest of the time in the last few weeks has been more routine. However, I helped to advertise a talk that our village Climate Action Network group arranged with the Parish Council on rewilding and the impact of climate change on our local trees. The theme of this talk, and a continuing series we have planned for next year, is ‘hope’. This is to counteract the inevitable descent into gloom if we consider and talk too much about the climate and biodiversity emergencies alongside other current preoccupations such as the war in Ukraine and the cost of living crisis.

The first talk in the ‘Hope Talks’ series was almost wildly successful. We have a hard act to follow as we go into next year. The talks themselves bring the village together and just the fact they happen adds to the resilience of the community and its cohesiveness. I edit a quarterly newsletter (another task done this week!) and submit articles to the monthly village magazine but these ‘Hope Talks’ hold out greater promise for conveying useful information while being a great relationship building mechanism.

*^{Our Learned ‘Hope Talk’ Speaker – Local Resident, Dr David Bullock (With Props)}*

Of course, other continuing elements of my recent retirement routine have been steadfast support of local football teams (Forest Green Rovers but also Shortwood United and Horsley United) and more of the Autumnal walks I talked about in my last post.

*^{Local Team Shortwood United In The Process Of Winning 5-0}*

The Autumn weather has been so mild and, until recently, so dry that the walks have been particularly pleasant. The colours in the trees have been changing quite variably from species to species. That has meant that while the reds and yellows have perhaps not been as spectacular as in some past years, the blending of different colours across the valley slopes has been very attractive.

*^{Local Walk Lined With Lime And Hazel Trees}*

I plan to keep up the local walks even as the winter weather closes in. However, I do also plan to reduce the number of discretionary, extraneous things I commit to in the next few months. At least that way I may be able to think more about abstract feelings rather than worrying about the state of my to-do list and the rate of knocking items off it. I may even resort to that old trick of adding things to the to-do list that I have already done…..

*^{Lovely Valley, Lovely Weather, Long Shadows}*

Seeing Football, Missing Football

September 15, 2022September 15, 2022 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

To Long-Suffering Wife’s (LSW’s) occasional frustration, I have been careful up to now to ensure that our trips to Edinburgh to see First Grandchild and his parents haven’t clashed with home fixtures for my football club, Forest Green Rovers (FGR). I have a season ticket and, quite apart from my desire (obsession?) to see my team play whenever I reasonably can, I’m the sort of person that wants to get full value from my season ticket investment.

However, I am not going to be able to keep this up since First Grandchild (FG) has a birthday around a weekend when FGR are playing at home. Even football doesn’t take precedence over celebrating the end of his first year with us.

That birthday is in November but I am already going to miss another home game later this week when I am accompanying LSW to her long-weekend college reunion in Buxton, Derbyshire. I regret missing the game but, in truth, it is going to be nice to get away for a change of scene again given that we haven’t had a proper holiday this year.

In any case, I have just been able to engineer seeing an away game at Charlton in London during a trip ostensibly to attend my annual dental check-up and to fix a recently broken tooth. So, I have managed to keep up my support in person at a good number of FGR’s games so far this season.

Unfortunately, following promotion as Champions from English Football League 2 last May, this season in a higher league is a struggle. The scale of the clubs we are playing, the impressiveness of their stadiums and the quality of the football is all much greater than in the past. As a result, positive results have, so far, been hard to come by.

*^{A Minutes Silence For The Queen at Charlton Athletic}*

So, it was great that I was able to see us wobble through to secure a draw and a well-earned point at Charlton Athletic – one of the ‘big’ teams who were once in the English Premier League but who now have to cope with us in English Football League 1 (EFL1). Even better, I was able to meet up with a great Australian friend of Youngest Son (and devoted supporter of FGR) at the game and catch up, and sing along, with him. Based on the performance in our last two games, I remain hopeful that we can consolidate our position in EFL1.

*^{Edinburgh’s Inverleith Park: Picnic Panorama}*

More on my brief London trip another time….. Earlier, our August trip to Edinburgh was, as usual, lovely. It was, of course, great to see how much First Grandchild had developed since the last time we have seen him some 6 weeks or so previously. It was nice too to see how Eldest Son (ES) and his partner have settled into their new flat (including a newly decorated kitchen) and have got FGs sleeping at night more under control.

A major change since visits earlier in the year was that, whereas we used to take FG out in his buggy when it was time for him to sleep, now we take him out between naps to keep him awake. That makes the walks around Edinburgh more interesting for him and us. I can envisage that by the time of our next visit, FG won’t be so content to be in his buggy and will want to try out his embryonic walking skills.

*^{Aerial View Of Part Of The Royal Botanical Gardens, Edinburgh}*

We did our usual trip to, and around, the Royal Botanic Gardens. The gardens are interesting all year around and FG particularly likes the running water and waterfalls in the Rockery. For me, the highlight was the Kitchen Garden in front of the Botanic Cottage which was planted with wild flowers. The mix was varied cleverly throughout the planted space so that, when standing in the middle, the colour palette shifted as one turned around.

FG was much more impressed by our visit to the National Museum of Scotland. I’m going to love taking him here every time I get up to Edinburgh. For a small child, there is so much going on, so many buttons to push and so much movement. At this stage, FG seems more interested in the other children than the exhibits but I can see hours of fun ahead.

*^{National Museum Of Scotland, Edinburgh}*

We also had a lengthy walk to The Meadows to the south of Edinburgh centre. Because the timing of our trip coincided with the Edinburgh Fringe – a gathering over a few weeks of a staggering multitude of performance artists from all over the UK and, indeed, the World – the central streets and cafes were crowded.

The streets were also dominated by piles of rubbish because our visit also coincided with a strike by rubbish clearance workers in Edinburgh that had been going on for over a week. The huge piles of trash everywhere underlined how much rubbish we generate in a typical big city and how dependent we are on public services to hide the issue of rubbish disposal from our day to day lives.

Although the overflowing rubbish bins were not a great advertisement for Edinburgh (the workers dispute is now resolved), the city remains a great attraction for LSW and I. The architecture in the centre is stunning, the galleries and museums are befitting of a capital city, the area ES and his partner live in is close to interesting shops, and even the playgrounds we took FG to seemed better appointed but more accessible than average.

We are both looking forward to our November birthday party visit hugely – even though I will miss the delights of watching Forest Green Rovers play live!

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