Family Stuff

May 10, 2024 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

The month leading up to my birthday last weekend was dominated by family events. We visited Eldest Son (ES) and his family in Edinburgh, we have had several visits to, and by, Middle Son (MS) with his fiancée and new baby, and we have had a visit from Youngest Son (YS) and his fiancée. Also, my Dad and my sister were able to visit us and to meet up with the new (great) grandchild; it was amazing to have four generations together.

Our trip to Edinburgh was focused on our most extended period of baby-sitting yet. While ES and his wife spent a few days in Spain attending a wedding in a hotel overlooking incredible coastal cliffs in Ibiza, we did our best to entertain First Grandchild (FG).

The first two days of that were delightful. FG had been fully prepared by his parents for their absence. There was only one time in those first two days when we got a sense that, under his effervescent demeanor, he was having to be brave in doing without them. That was when Jane showed FG a picture on her phone of his Mum enjoying the Spanish sun. I saw his lower lip quiver briefly with regret before he recovered his equilibrium with the familiar request to “lets play”.

As usual, FG loved visiting the Royal Botanic Garden (above), the National Museum of Scotland, the private garden that local residents share access to, cafes selling juice and cake, and pizza at Franca Manca. He slept like a log in between.

Another highlight was taking FG to a birthday party for a little boy of one of his Mum’s friends. This was a pirate themed party and FG had been kitted out with what turned out to be the best costume at the party (courtesy of a £5 purchase on Ebay I believe). FG was easily the youngest at the party and he found it a little overwhelming after a while, but we all had a good time on a lovely sunny day.

*^{First Grandchild As A Jolly Pirate (Without His Splendid Pirate Hat!)}*

Unfortunately, the last day of our baby minding was dominated by FG falling ill. In between his physical sickness he was subdued but seemed to recover. But poor Jane was holding him each of the four times he was sick. She quickly became very acquainted with the washing machine and tumble dryer and we had some extended viewings of the film ‘Madagascar’ while having quiet time with FG on the sofa.

*^{Circus Lane, Edinburgh. It’s A Lovely City We Can Still Envisage Us Living In At Some Point}*

It was only after we had returned home, and heard that his now returned Mum had caught the same bug and was quite ill, that we realised how lucky we had been fortunate enough to ‘dodge that bullet’. Having done so, we look back on the Edinburgh visit with a lot of pleasure and also pride in FG’s resilience in the face of his parents’ absence and then his sickness. Of course, we are his grandparents so we are bound to say it: he is wonderful!

Also wonderful is Second Grandchild (SG). It’s a treat to have the opportunity to have him relatively close by and so see him relatively frequently. Its great too to see how his parents are doting on him despite the challenges of new parenthood (primarily sleep deprivation!) They are coping with those well. Certainly, SG’s smiles suggest he is very happy and we love seeing and holding him.

*^{Son And Dad, Eye Contact and Smiles}*

Youngest Son (YS) popped over to England for a photo shoot and his fiancée joined us for a lovely, long weekend during which they were able to meet SG for the first time. One of YS’s Australian friends, now based in London, was able to join us. He, YS and I spent several hours watching football on the Saturday – first in the pub, then live at Forest Green Rovers (their last game in another miserable season which has seen us relegated for the second time in succession), and then on the telly back at home. Meanwhile, Jane and YS’s fiancée cooked and baked to replenish MS and his partners’ freezer with ready meals and cakes to enable their focus on their new baby. Everyone happy!

*^{Looking Across Buttercups Towards Forest Green Rovers’ The New Lawn Stadium (On The Horizon, On The Right)}*

YS and partner are very busy with work in Belfast but they are also finding time to visit Edinburgh in a month or so. It is so heart-warming to see the brothers together, with their partners, and, now, with nephews to hold and play with. We are lucky that they all get on with each other despite, or perhaps because of, their different characteristics.

We are lucky too that so much of our time can be taken up with looking at videos on WhatsApp that the different branches of the family send us showing their young lives, and with planning of more visits to Bristol, Belfast and Edinburgh to experience all this family stuff first hand. Edinburgh is already planned in for June and we haven’t given up on getting to Belfast again before YS’s September wedding there…….

New Year, New Trip

January 13, 2024 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

We chose Belfast rather than Edinburgh for Christmas but I couldn’t wait to see First Grandchild (FG) again and so we pitched up in Edinburgh early in January. The added benefit of going then was that we could celebrate Eldest Son’s birthday with him. As ever, we had a great time and experienced wonderful hospitality.

We did some of the usual things with an enthusiastic FG. We spent a morning exploring the National Museum of Scotland and another wandering through the Royal Botanic Garden. Both are great places to take toddlers and FG is very chatty now so trips like these are more pleasurable than ever.

*^{Morning Across Edinburgh To The Pentland Hills From The Royal Botanic Gardens}*

FG also has a soul mate in my wife, Jane, when it comes to visiting the cafés in these places. Since I have pledged to overcome my fear of lukewarm/weak café coffee, and have added going to cafés when requested by Jane to my list of new year resolutions, I went along willingly with their desires.

We had driven up to Edinburgh and the journey was smooth with no problem with charging up the battery. As a result, we had the option to drive FG and his parents beyond Edinburgh for an outing. Since the weather was cold but clear, we chose to go to the beach at Yellowcraig near North Berwick.

We had a lovely time passing FG sticks, stones and chunks of seaweed that he could throw into the waves amid Yellowcraig’s open vistas and its big skies.

^{Looking North To North Berwick Law And Bass Rock From Yellowcraig Beach}

Back in his flat, we threw ourselves into entertaining FG with drawing, tower building (and knocking them down), Playdoh moulding, and reading. FG takes these activities very seriously and loves having control; I love that and it makes the times when he simply laughs and messes about even more enjoyable. He’s developing so quickly.

Before FG arrived, my wish was to see a grandchild before I died but now, inevitably, I want to live for decades so I see more and see them grow up. We are so looking forward to the arrival of a second grandchild in Bristol in a couple of months.

We did slip off for some ‘me-time’ too. I walked down the Water of Leith to Leith town. I’ve done that before but this time I went a little further to the edge of the port. Leith is a vibrant town that is being transformed into a trendy outpost on the edge of Edinburgh with a new and frequent tram connection. Next time we will try to get to see the Royal Yacht Britannia which has been retired to a berth there.

*^{Late Afternoon In Leith And Leith Port}*

*^{One Of Antony Gormley’s Water of Leith Statues Clad In A Hibernian Football Shirt For New Year}*

I also wandered through Stockbridge to see some of my favourite residential areas of Edinburgh. We still debate whether moving to Edinburgh – or at least having a permanent second base there – would be viable and sensible. The best Georgian flats and houses are lovely to look at and dream of owning. More practically, a modern flat would be a better target but there’s no harm in looking!

*^{My Favourite (So Far) Edinburgh Square – Saxe Coburg Place}*

The drive home from Edinburgh always feels a lot less exciting than the journey up. Although charging up the car was again problem-free on the way, there was an hour-long stoppage due to an accident – a Range Rover towing a food truck strewn across three of the four lanes near Manchester – to further deflate the mood. But getting home is always a relief and a pleasure of its own. Now we are chilling out back in our weekly routine which includes evenings in front of the fire and series after series of streamed television.

Until the next trip to Edinburgh and more memory creation with the little one…..

Anniversary and Birthday in Edinburgh

November 28, 2023November 28, 2023 / fgrtommo / 1 Comment

Autumn is turning to winter but there is still some colour in the trees and the occasional sunny day provides a bit of autumnal sparkle. I continue to feel fortunate to live in a pretty (but not prettified) part of Gloucestershire and we enjoyed showing it off a bit while some friends stayed with us at the end of October. When the sun is low as it is now, the Cotswold stone of the houses glows beautifully and the crispening leaves on the trees glimmer in the breeze.

I am well behind on the bedding down of the garden and allotment for winter. I have made some progress but, when the weather has been nice, I’ve tended to take the opportunity to go for local walks. When the weather has been cold and wet, I’ve stayed close to the heating in our kitchen. I feel that, as I get older, I feel the cold more than I did.

Our First Grandchild (FG) doesn’t seem to feel the cold anywhere near so much! He is thriving up in Edinburgh. We visited Edinburgh recently to celebrate his second birthday and his parents’ first wedding anniversary. They have a lovely flat and, now there is a wood-burner in the lounge, a very cosy spot for the evenings. FG can now lark about before bedtime in his nightwear – or just his nappy – without me feeling chilly by proxy.

We stayed in Edinburgh for longer than usual but hopefully avoided overburdening the working parents by staying a couple of nights in a hotel rather than with them. FG seemed to enjoy having two more people to order about especially once his birthday brought more toys for us all to play with.

He also liked his usual trip with us to the Royal Botanic Garden, where we collected different colours and sizes of leaf. It’s a wonderful, free resource regardless of the time of year.

On the actual day of his birthday, we all joined him on an extended visit to the National Museum of Scotland where he joyfully rushed from exhibit to exhibit. It’s a great place for kids.

We had other lovely family outings in brilliant sunshine to Saughton Park, which had an interesting history and a goldfish pond which fascinated FG, and to Lauriston Castle gardens with its great views across the Firth of Forth. Much to Jane’s satisfaction, each visit involved a café stop. This is something that, when we are alone together, she finds hard to persuade me to indulge in. With FG, it’s another little opportunity to watch him develop.

*^{Lauriston Castle With The Firth Of Forth Beyond}*

It was convenient that we had our car, could get around easily with everyone, and that ES and his partner had some time off work so they could enjoy their anniversary and birthday fully.

Jane and I also went off on our own for perusal of Stockbridge’s shops (Jane) and walks by the Water of Leith (me). The Water of Leith was gushing more than usual following the recent storms which made the riverside walk somehow even more pleasurable than usual, especially as the sun was shining.

Views Along The Water Of Leith (Including An Anthony Gormley Statue Top Right)

We also managed to slide off for an hour in Spry, our favourite wine bar, and for a set of very tasty, innovative small lunch plates at Noto where Eldest Son (ES) and his partner had celebrated their anniversary a couple of nights before.

*^{My Walk Along The Water Of Leith Led Me To Murrayfield}*

While FG and his parents went off to a birthday party of one of FG’s contemporaries in south Edinburgh, Jane and I took advantage of more sunny weather to climb Blackford Hill. This afforded great views north of Arthur’s Seat and the city and I had a bit of an internal psychic glow knowing that this was where ES had proposed marriage.

^{Views North From Blackford Hill}

In between the anniversary and birthday festivities, and as the weather deteriorated, Jane and I visited the newly opened half of the National Gallery of Scotland. This great new space doubles the size of the gallery and has some excellent works including many by the Glasgow Boys and the less renowned Glasgow Girls.

*^{The New Galleries At The Scottish National Gallery}*

In a slight overdoing of cultural experience for one day, we also visited Dovecot Studios to see an exhibition called ‘Scottish Women Artists: Challenging 250 Years of Perception’. This too had art by the Glasgow Girls. I thought the exhibition was a bit uneven but particularly liked the works by Joan Eardley and a few others.

*^{Dovecote Studios: Scottish Women Artists (Including Joan Eardley And Alberta Whittle – bottom right and left respectively)}*

While we were in Edinburgh, ES’s partner cooked us lovely meals and we had great toast-laden breakfasts (Archipelago Bakery sells outstanding bread) plus a couple of substantial delivery meals from local food outlets. Fortunately, this visit, we met ES’s partner’s parents again and we all tucked into an Indian spread while sharing FG-stories.

FG’s birthday cake was a delightful mum-made ‘hedgehog cake’ with chocolate buttons for spines (he loved the candle blowing out process and the chocolate). Later, his birthday dinner was a shared set of delivered pizzas. Meals delivered to the door are rare treats for me; we don’t have them at home since the choice is limited and the distances feel too great. I put on weight in Edinburgh but it was well worth it.

It’s a long way to Edinburgh and back in our car (though we again had no real problems with charging it up as we travelled). But we love Edinburgh. Jane and I know that had ES not met someone from there who wanted to settle in the city, we would not have had such an opportunity to get to know Edinburgh so well. There is so much more to see there and we look forward to another trip for ES and his partners’ birthdays early next year.

Proper Baby-Sitting and Grayson Perry

September 21, 2023 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

We have babysat First Grandchild (FG) a few times for short periods during visits to Edinburgh during the last year or so. It’s been a joy and a privilege to be able to do so. Plus we always enjoy visiting his parents and seeing Edinburgh.

*^{The Water of Leith From Dean Bridge – The Steep Gradients So Near To The Centre Of Edinburgh Still Surprise Me}*

Our baby-sitting responsibilities went up a notch at the beginning of September when First Grandchild’s (FG’s) parents went to a wedding of an old friend in Spain. Jane and I were thankful to be asked to baby sit for the 36 hours they were away but were unsure how the experience would go for us and for FG.

His other grandparents do a lot of babysitting and look after him all day on Thursdays. But it would be the first time that someone other than a parent would get FG up in the morning (twice), manage his afternoon nap (twice), put him to bed (once), plus feed, entertain and keep him safe in between. It was our first go at proper grandchild babysitting!

Eldest Son and his wife had departed in the small hours of the night. Apart from 15 minutes of full-on anxiety and yelling after he woke up that morning, and another five minutes of low-grade moaning after his first nap, FG was fine with the whole weekend.

*^{First Grandchild Exactly Where We Wanted Him – Asleep With His Monkey and Other Soft Toys}*

FG knows his routine down to the fine details: which soft toy needs to be kissed goodnight in what order, which book is the last book to be read before bedtime, which bedroom light goes on and off when. As long as we stuck to that routine and provided plenty of book reading, tower and garage building, and other activities at other times, he was very happy. FG, his parents in Spain and, certainly, the two of us, all had (tiring) fun.

Of course, we visited a few Edinburgh playgrounds and, as usual, the Royal Botanic Garden with FG while we were with him. The weather was kind to us and we were able to walk, to and from everywhere and around the gardens, at FG’s pace.

Like most kids his age he loves being able to take mini-decisions about what to do when and, as grandparents, we have the time to allow that. That Jane has had a motherhood bringing up three boys and then a career in providing parental advice to troubled mums and dads really helps. I learnt a lot from her about how to give toddlers options so they feel a semblance of decision making while the adults actually remain in control.

A highlight with FG was a trip to Portobello beach. We got there early so the crowds were yet to gather in large numbers in the sunny and warm weather. FG loves the outdoors and the novelty of visiting the coast. He loved wandering along the shoreline and collecting shells and other debris along it (and, in some sort of memory throwback to my own childhood, so did I). It was a great way to spend a morning.

*^{First Grandchild (FG) And Granny On Portobello Beach}*

Another morning with FG was consumed with a trip on the new tram service to and from Leith. FG was more concerned with engaging with fellow passengers willing to smile at him than with looking out of the window. He enjoyed the journey and a big vegan biscuit at Williams and Johnson Coffee Co. Leith appears to be an increasingly cool place to live and work and the tram extension is surely a catalyst for that.

Before FG’s parents shot off for their whirlwind jaunt to the wedding, we managed a good dose of art and culture by visiting The Scottish Gallery, a nearby private gallery we have visited several times before, and the National Gallery of Scotland.

*^{‘Folk At Heart’ At The Scottish Gallery, Edinburgh}*

The Scottish Gallery was showing a range of artists embracing traditional folk art. Although the gallery is quite small, there was plenty to admire. I particularly liked the woven baskets, the muted colours of some of the naïve style paintings and prints and, downstairs, the textiles by Jane Keith which were innovatively displayed given the compact space.

*^{Textiles By Jane Keith At The Scottish Gallery}*

The headline exhibition at the National Gallery was a substantial retrospective of Grayson Perry’s work. I’ve enjoyed Grayson Perry exhibitions before – notably the Summer Exhibition at the Royal Academy in 2018 and, more recently, in Bath. The latter was a small exhibition of his ceramics where Grayson explained the pieces in his own words.

Grayson provided the captions for each piece at the National Gallery exhibition too and, apart from the art itself, this was one of the most attractive features of the show. His art is very accessible anyway but his thoughtful captions alongside each piece were unpretentious, clear and highly explanatory of the themes that have dominated his work since he was a very young man and how they have developed in his mind.

*^{Examples Of Grayson Perry’s Ceramics, Iron And Tapestry Works – With Typical Intense Detail}*

From the first work – a plate he made in 1983 called ‘Kinky Sex’ – the irreverence of his approach and the courage of his anti-establishmentarianism came through. But rather than be just a series of bold, even brash statements, the exhibition and particularly Grayson’s own words, drew me into what I see the Guardian newspaper calls ‘a thrumming conversation’.

*^{Grayson’s ‘Tomb Of The Unknown Craftsman’ (2011)}*

Some of the pieces on show were beautiful to my eyes, some were rather ugly, but every one of them had something to say and was engaging in some way. Rather than say more here, this is a link to a video hosted by Grayson describing much of the show: Grayson Perry’s Smash Hits. Watch out for references to ‘Alan Measles’ who is Grayson’s (troubled) childhood teddy bear who, entertainingly, crops up in various guises throughout the exhibition.

*^{‘Kenilworth AM1’ (Including Alan Measles’s ‘Stunt Double’ In The Box On The Back)}*

The only downside to the exhibition was that, somehow, I missed the last room and exited prematurely. Nonetheless I thought it was brilliant.

As was the whole weekend! Proper baby-sitting was a resounding success and we look forward to doing it again (we are scheduled for a longer stint in April next year during another Spanish wedding trip).

Having said that, it was great to get home, slot into routines less driven by a 21-month-old, and have a bit of a rest in what remained of summer in our home and garden.

Edinburgh: Same Trip, Different Model

July 11, 2023 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

For our latest visit to Edinburgh, we changed the accommodation model from what we have done in the past. This time we stayed in an Airbnb, converted mews building rather than stay in Eldest Son (ES) and his wife’s flat. That meant we felt we could stay in Edinburgh for longer – a full week this time – and not be a burden on them as they worked and went about their daily lives.

*^{Edinburgh New Town (From Calton Hill) – Where First Grandchild Lives!}*

Because our accommodation was so close to them, we were able to pop over for, or just after, breakfast to see First Grandchild (FG) and, on his nursery days, enjoy the novelty of taking him to his nursery. Overall, we saw ES, his wife and FG as much as ever, but they and we could also enjoy a bit more independence. It worked for us anyway!

Our first few days were those when FG doesn’t go to nursery and so we had fun with him in Inverleith Park, the Royal Botanic Garden and the National Portrait Gallery (where FG ignored the art but loved going up and down the flights of steps). We also loved playing with him at home playing with his toys. It had been almost two months since we had last seen FG and, at his age (just over 18 months), that is a long time and a lot of growing up. The way he now plays with his toys using his imagination in conversation with them is the main development I noticed.

*^{Edinburgh Skyline From Inverleith Park}*

The highlight of these early days of our stay was a car trip to Jupiter Artland to the south west of Edinburgh. This is an outdoor sculpture park exhibiting a wide variety of works of contemporary artists set in over 100 acres of woodland and open grassland. It is a very impressive venture founded in 2009 by philanthropist art collectors Robert and Nicky Wilson.

*^{Jupiter Artland: Works By Shane Waltner, Ian Hamilton Finlay, Anish Kapoor And Cornelia Parker}*

FG walked with us but was a little bemused by our occasional sheltering under trees to avoid the showers. He seemed to particularly enjoy the ‘Weeping Girls’ (rather macabre bronze figures looking very sad) by Laura Ford and the ‘Temple of Apollo’ by Ian Hamilton Finlay which had the sort of steps that he loves.

*^{Jupiter Artland: One Of The ‘Weeping Girls’ By Laura Ford}*

I believe that he also enjoyed the snacks at the café. While he tried those out, I popped off to get a closer look at the earthworks by Charles Jencks that we had driven past on the way in to Jupiter Artland. They are larger versions of those outside the Scottish Museum of Modern Art and are quite dramatic, especially as the heavens opened for another shower.

*^{Jupiter Artland: Charles Jencks’ ‘Cells Of Life’}*

On the Sunday we had a lovely lunch with ES’s wife’s parents. ES has certainly married into a family that knows hospitality and how to cook. We had great breakfasts fueled by bread from excellent Archipelago Bakery and delightful gooseberry jam home made by ES’s mother-in-law. On our Edinburgh visits ES’s wife has repeatedly demonstrated calm and efficient cooking of lovely meals and she did so again. ES wasn’t to be outshone and he treated us to a very tasty vegetable curry too. Overall, and as usual, we ate very well.

We also drank well including at our favourite Edinburgh bar, Spry and at Kay’s Bar which is a tiny, intimate pub tucked away in a side street right next to our Airbnb accommodation.

Once we had dropped FG off at nursery – he seemed entirely unfazed by the change in those accompanying him – Jane and I had several hours in which to relax and see the sights of Edinburgh. Our main excursion within Edinburgh was past the noisy royalists and noisier anti-royalists lining the Royal Mile to watch King Charles receive the Scottish crown jewels, and on to the National Museum of Scotland.

*^{‘Not My King’ Protesters On The Royal Mile, Edinburgh}*

There we saw an exhibition called Beyond the Little Black Dress. This traced the history of the little black dress as a fashion item since the 1920’s to the present (and, with a bit of foresight, into the future). Even I could see that the dresses were spectacularly good and almost all the famous designers I know were represented.

*_{The Little Black Dress Exhibition At The Scottish National Museum}*

Rather than follow a purely chronological route, the exhibition was mainly structured around themes that have underpinned the use of the little black dress by designers and those who wear it. There were sections on ‘Well Mannered Black’ (emphasising elegance during cocktail hour), ‘Spiritual Black’ (reflecting religious undertones), ‘Subcultural Black’ (such as the Goth look), and ‘Subversive Black’ (including the erotic and nuances of bondage). Others showed, for instance, how Japanese designers used different ‘Shades of Black’ and how sustainable fashion is emerging.

*^{Little Black Dresses At The Exhibition At The Scottish National Museum (With A 3-D Printed Dress Bottom Right)}*

I liked the displays very much and I felt I learnt something in an area I know little about. I was particularly struck by the last exhibit which was a short video called ‘Her Dreams Are Bigger’ by Osman Yousefzada. This showed poor textile workers in Bangladesh – the sort that make mass-produced little black dresses – and related what they imagined the wearers of the clothes they make do and think. The punchline is in the title of the video. It was quite unexpectedly moving.

While Jane went off to peruse shops, I walked over to Old Calton Burial Ground and Calton Hill. Both offered great views of Edinburgh in wonderfully sunny weather and clear air.

^{Old Calton Burial Ground}

I hadn’t seen the burial ground before and it is a secluded, private space easily overlooked by tourists. It is dominated by a tall obelisk erected in memory of members of the Friends of the People who campaigned for universal suffrage in the late 18th century but who were deported to Australia for their efforts. It got me researching ‘one man one vote’ campaigns and I was amazed to find out how long it took for rich property owners to lose their monopoly of electoral privilege. It was only in the early 20th century that the UK passed legislation to enable all men to vote; womens’ suffrage followed shortly after.

*^{View Across Edinburgh Old Town From Calton Hill}*

On another day, Jane and I popped into The Scottish Gallery, a private gallery which had completely changed its exhibitions since the last time we visited and now included some lovely porcelain pottery by Jack Doherty (not someone I knew but who Jane follows and likes).

Jane and I also visited both buildings comprising the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art where I briefly revisited the retrospective of Alberta Whittle’s work (and, as during our last visit, enjoyed the abstract watercolours more than the more prominent fabric and photo-collage works). We wandered through the galleries and again I was struck by the number of famous artists (that is, the ones I know!) represented on the walls. It was nice to be able to spend the time rather aimlessly taking in such a wide range of art.

^{Modern Art Galleries of Scotland 1 and 2}

The relative flexibility of our longer stay in Edinburgh than usual (without impinging overmuch on ES and his wife) and the fact that we drove up (with no recharging delays or issues at all) and so had a car with us, afforded the opportunity to travel further afield. I’ll cover our day trip to Glasgow separately……

Places to Go, Things to Do

May 11, 2023 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

Our three sons came from Edinburgh, Bristol and Belfast to stay with us to attend Jane’s Mum’s funeral and then my birthday brunch. The funeral was very well attended and passed flawlessly, peacefully and movingly. My birthday was low key but very enjoyable. It was great to have all three sons in one place for the first time for a while, to hear them banter with each other, and to chat to.

Two of them asked, independently, what on earth I fills my time in retirement. I’m not sure I was entirely candid about my occasional post-lunch snoozes or the rather excessive amount of time I spend looking at my mobile phone – though they are also fairly guilty of the latter so they would understand. But what struck me once again as I tried to answer is how busy my life still seems to be.

The routine of walking to the nearest town for the daily shopping and the newspaper, reading that newspaper and the weekly Economist magazine, preparing lunch and (50% of the time) dinner, all takes up hours of relatively relaxed time. I spend up to a day a week in local climate action and other village activities and another half a day at the Stroud Foodbank. I have recently inserted an hour or two of gardening into the routine (not enough, but it’s a start) partially at the cost of my frequent walks around the local countryside that usually constitute my main exercise.

The early evenings comprise of the ‘Quick Crossword’ over a cup of tea and/or visits to the local pub. Later, we watch streamed TV series (we tend to gravitate to dark European crime thrillers) and then its time for the BBC News, 15 minutes reading in bed and sleep.

So, even in weeks without trips to Edinburgh or funerals to attend (and there have been two in the last month unfortunately), I feel pretty occupied. How did I fit 10 hours a mid-week day on work? It was interesting to hear Middle Son start to feel the same way now he has given up his job for a bit of downtime before a ‘gap-month’ travelling in Columbia. He too seems to have found that available time just gets filled with activity. In retirement, those activities are mainly non-urgent and discretionary; suits me!

Our trip to Edinburgh last month to see First Grandchild (FG) and his parents was as rewarding as usual. FG is discovering the desire to exert control and is developing a temper, a willingness to do things but only at his pace and when he is ready, and a sense of humour. Its lovely to see his development in the videos we are sent but even more so face to face. Maybe I just lack the recall power but I think work got in the way of appreciating all of this in my own children at FG’s age.

*^{The Splendid Roof Of The Scottish National Museum’s Main Hall}*

As usual, taking FG out to the National Museum of Scotland, to the Royal Botanic Garden and to the local playgrounds were highpoints during our Edinburgh trip. It’s wonderful to see that everything through his eyes is so new and something to learn about.

^{Royal Botanic Garden, Edinburgh: Rhododendrons Out In April!}

However, there were many other treats amid the hospitality offered by Eldest Son and his wife and the fun of being with FG. Jane and I walked to Leith where I bought her birthday present in advance and with her close guidance. On the way back we stopped off at Spry, our favourite wine bar in the city.

We also visited the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art to see an exhibition of Alberta Whittle’s work. We had seen an exhibition by her in Bath a few months earlier which we had enjoyed. However, although the exhibition in Edinburgh was much broader in ambition, neither of us enjoyed the individual works so much this time.

*^{‘Taking A Leap Toward The Ancestors’ By Alberta Whittle (2022)}*

Our cultural immersion while in Edinburgh continued with a brief stop at the private The Scottish Gallery (mainly to see some pretty floral paintings by Angie Lewin) before exceeding all our daily steps targets by crossing the city again to visit the Dovecot Studios. This was a real highlight.

*^{Part of the Kaffe Fassett ‘Power Of Pattern’ Exhibition}*

Not only was there an excellent exhibition of textiles by and inspired by Kaffe Fassett called ‘The Power of Pattern’, but the tapestry studios themselves were fascinating. I was only vaguely familiar with Kaffe Fassett but I loved a lot of the work on show here – mainly because of the vibrancy of the colour – and I learned a lot about his philosophy, way of working and his collaborations with others.

*^{Close-ups Of Quilted and Tapestry Works By Kaffe Fassett And Followers}*

The tapestry studios at Dovecote are restored and re-purposed swimming baths that were part of the now defunct infirmary. The space is airy and dramatic. The floor – what presumably was the bottom of the swimming pool – is an art space that is currently occupied by a series of looms of varying sizes and types. Each contained part-finished tapestries that suggested the huge effort that has to go into each. Upstairs, completed tapestries illustrating various techniques and styles are on display. We really enjoyed the experience.

To round out the cultural aspect of our Edinburgh trip, I also managed an hour or so in the Scottish National Portrait Gallery. The entrance hall is stunning and I wanted to see that again. Inside there was no special exhibition this time but the permanent displays – especially the modern section – were interesting enough.

*^{The Scottish National Portrait Gallery Atrium}*

^{The Scottish National Portrait Gallery: Two Unusual, Medical Portraits (By Ken Currie)}

Back home we have been enjoying an admittedly rather wet spring. The wild garlic, bluebells and cow parsley adorn the lanes and the woods. In the garden, the daffodils, the amelanchier and most of the tulips have been and gone but there are allium flower heads about to burst and green shoots everywhere. In our lush and green field cum orchard, the cowslips and wild geraniums have proliferated and our eyes are peeled for orchids.

*^{Exotic Garden Tulips And Perfect Apple Blossom}*

A recent visit to The Ethicurean with Middle Son and his partner for Sunday lunch included a wander around the gardens that provide many of the vegetable ingredients for the cooking. The lunch itself was multi-course but much more than a tasting menu; it was really imaginative, tasty and filling, and delivered at a perfectly slow pace in the gorgeous surroundings of a converted Victorian greenhouse. We’ll go again.

*^{The Rather Wonderful The Ethicurean Restaurant}*

Since then, rather inspired by The Ethicurean’s gardens, I have made progress in clearing most of the vegetable patches, planting beetroot, chard, onions and potatoes and getting bean, courgette and squash seeds on the go.

This year I have applied a method Jane used for some of her flower seeds to the germination of the beans seeds I recovered from my last two harvests. Instead of popping them in composted seed trays, I put them between two sheets of wet kitchen roll and put the result in zip lock plastic bags. I left the bags on the floor of our kitchen which has underfloor heating and, lo and behold, I had a 100% success rate for germination!

*^{My (Janes!) New Ziplock Plastic Bag Method Of Seed Germination}*

I have transferred the germinated beans to the small pots and now hope they will grow on with, unlike previous years, zero seed wastage. Success in a busy retirement schedule is sweet!

Visiting Two Sons

February 20, 2023February 20, 2023 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

A couple of weekends ago we drove the 350 miles north to Edinburgh to get another hugely welcome dose of Eldest Son (ES), his wife and their delightful son. My dodgy back more than held up through the drives up and down, the weather was clear and dry, the electric car charging points we used were all working and available, and so both journeys were smooth.

*^{The (Long) Road To Edinburgh At Keele Services}*

Throughout our visit, First Grandchild (FG) was an unalloyed joy. He only had one 30 minute spell when he was tired and grumpy, but he is now old enough to be distractible and consolable. Whilst his parents have to deal with more of the everyday stresses and strains (and some very early mornings) than I can really remember from our own parenting days, they are settling into their own parenthood, married life and their flat; and FG seems to be loving life!

We had many little trips out with the little one including to the National Museum of Scotland and the Royal Botanic Garden Edinburgh. Both venues have become fixtures in our itinerary for every trip since they are both so toddler-friendly and free (while presumably relying in large part on donations).

We managed a trip out to South Edinburgh with FG, ES and wife to a lovely, relatively new café (Elliott’s) and we twice slipped into Spry Wine Shop and Bar which is, so far, my favourite bar in Edinburgh. Jane commented that being on our own in Spry felt like being naughtily awol from grand-parenting duties but we did babysit later to enable ES and his wife to visit the same bar one evening.

It was a lovely few days of catch-up, good food and of being able to see, first hand, First Grandchild’s developing physicality, brainpower and, perhaps most of all, his sense of humour. The videos we now play every day (sometimes multiple times a day) are those of him mucking about and giggling. As grandparents he is just an absolute treat and we are lucky to be able to see him every couple of months or so.

*^{Grey Skies Over Edinburgh From The Royal Botanical Gardens}*

We were able to visit Middle Son and his partner in Bristol shortly after our return from Edinburgh. A highlight was to be able to see, open/close and touch their new bedroom wardrobes. These were custom made by a craftsman cabinet maker from our village who is near retirement but who is very skilled and has done work in the past in our house. We are so pleased we could help make the connection to him. The wardrobes looked great.

We then all went to a very swish new Spanish restaurant called Paco Tapas which is run by an apparently Michelin starred chef (Peter Sanchez-Inglesias). His reputation and that of his kitchen clearly goes before him and brings in the crowds – the restaurant was packed despite a cost of living crisis and relatively high prices. Certainly the food was very good and some of the small plates were exceptional. I especially liked the lamb rump, pork ribs, patatas bravas and citrusy fennel. I also loved that I faced the kitchen where much was cooked over open flames in a way that provided a bit of extra theatre.

The restaurant was in an area of Bristol that I didn’t know on the south bank of the Avon estuary called Wapping Wharf. It was clearly once a heavily used port area. Large, old cranes still dominate the harbourside while rail tracks criss-cross the roads. There were still many boats on the quayside from modern cruisers (including one surmounted by a helicopter!), to small cargo ships, to The Matthew of Bristol which is a reconstruction of the boat John Cabot used to discover Newfoundland in 1497.

*^{‘The Matthew At Bristol’ And Princes Wharf Cranes}*

It was raining so we didn’t loiter but the wharf and nearby marinas, container-based shopping units and restaurants looked interesting and meriting another visit. Indeed, visiting the cities that our sons have moved to over the last year – Edinburgh, Bristol and Belfast – is one of our great pleasures these days. However, later this week we are taking a break from that cycle to visit Paris…… whoop, whoop!

Onwards to Dundee and Edinburgh

December 4, 2022 / fgrtommo / 1 Comment

Having stayed a couple of nights at the small, tasteful and quirky Taybank hotel, Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I moved on and stayed for further couple of nights in Dundee at a large, modern Premier Inn. This was right on the Tay estuary, over which we had a great but very windswept view.

It was also conveniently close to the new V&A Design Museum outpost in Dundee. This is a wonderful building, designed by Kengo Kuma. The museum provides a video explanation by Kuma of why the museum looks like it does and that made it even more interesting for me.

The weather was intermittently very wet (dreich is the appropriate Scottish word I believe), so we went to the dry comfort of the V&A twice. We took in not only the standing exhibitions, but also the temporary ones including a very comprehensive and wide ranging one about Plastic: ‘The Remaking of Our World’. Fortunately that was every bit as interesting as the big exhibitions I have seen in recent years in the V&A London. It’s great that Dundee has such an impressive centrepiece.

*^{The V&A And RRS Discovery And Some Sun!}*

*^{V&A Dundee: Part Of The Plastics Exhibition}*

While in Dundee, LSW did start to eat again following the illness she had picked up from First Grandchild (FG) the previous weekend. However, she quickly regretted it and, with the rain still persistent, our movements were limited. Then, for a while, the weather relented and we did make it to the McManus Art Gallery and Museum. This is a lovely looking building exhibiting proudly the seafaring and industrial history of Dundee, its art and its most famous people. Then,, as the weather closed in again, we visited the Dundee Contemporary Arts (DCA) centre.

*^{The McManus Galleries, Dundee (And More Sun!)}*

At the DCA we saw an exhibition by Manuel Solano. He became blind after contracting AIDS and, incredibly, the exhibition contained just work that he had produced since losing his sight. Another interesting hour was passed out of the showers.

*^{Manuel Solano In The Big Spaces Of The Dundee Contemporary Art Gallery}*

While at the DCA we also saw Living, a new and very moving film starring Bill Nighy. He is perfect for the lead role and is supported by excellent acting all-round in a really lovely film. We both enjoyed it hugely.

It was great to have visited Dundee and to see a different Scottish city. The weather changed our plans of what to do there and the rain reinforced our impression that the car was king along the city’s coastline since we seemed to spend a lot of time getting wet waiting for the little green man lights and for the traffic to allow us to cross. But, given the tricky weather blowing in from the East, and given that LSW wasn’t fully operational, we did a lot of good things in Dundee.

*^{View From Our Dundee Premier Inn Room (When It Wasn’t Sunny!)}*

On our way back to Edinburgh via the coastal road around East Fife we had to take a couple of diversions to avoid flooding. We spotted the huge waves off the coast as we passed the famous golf course and lovely buildings of St Andrews and decided to stop at the fishing village of Crail on the easternmost coast of Fife to take a closer look. We parked and walked down pretty, narrow lanes to the harbour. As I rounded a corner to get a closer look at the breakers and take a souvenir picture, I was astounded to be instantaneously splattered by sea spray even though the sea was 40-50 yards away. It really was startling weather.

We drove on along the coast and stopped at a recommended coffee house in St Monans (The Giddy Gannet) where LSW managed half a scone. Then we pressed on and had lunch at The Ship Inn right on the coast in Elie where LSW watched me eat a tasty plate of fish and chips with all the trimmings. Then, with one of us rather more stuffed than the other, we set off for a final 36 hours or so in Edinburgh.

Remarkably given the pressures and events of the last few days, Eldest Son (ES) and his wife were entertaining again (with help from her Mum), this time to celebrate her Dad’s birthday. It was a lovely evening with, as usual, lovely food and a chance to meet one of ES’s new uncles-in-law and his wife. Gradually LSW and I are getting to know our newly extended family.

To round off a momentous and lovely week in Scotland, (lovely despite what viruses and the weather occasionally threw at us), we had a few hours with FG including a visit to the National Museum of Scotland. We had taken him there earlier in the year and he loved it again even though he was still recovering from his illness. I previously vowed to take him to this wonderful museum whenever possible when in Edinburgh and that vow stands; it is so exciting for him and, as he grows up, I think it will retain his interest (no pressure FG!)

A Wedding and a Birthday

November 27, 2022August 4, 2025 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

Amid much happiness, our Eldest Son (ES) and his partner were married a couple of weekends ago. Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I had a lovely time in Edinburgh celebrating this huge event with them. What made it extra special for us was that ES and his (now) wife pared down the events of the weekend to a very intimate affair. Everyone who took part was someone very close to the marrying couple. That meant that every conversation with everyone in attendance felt meaningful.

The Registry Office was a grand building with pleasantly decorated rooms and an overseer of the process who achieved the right balance of formality and relaxed bonhomie. First Grandchild (FG), was rather unwell but nonetheless, was well behaved, wasn’t sick on anyone’s dress and loved playing with the room’s long curtains. ES looked smart and the bride looked stunning. As they shared their home-made vows, my tears welled up; their personalisation of the exchange was really moving.

Later in the afternoon and well into the evening, a wedding reception was held at the married couple’s new flat. The flat looked great and was just the right size for a party of about 30 enthusiastic relatives and friends. A few of the latter were fellow new parents who brought contemporaries of FG which added to the lovely, informal conviviality. Everyone was very happy.

*^{Lovely Wedding Reception Table Layout In The Married Couple’s Flat}*

The mantelpieces and tables had been beautifully decorated and set out by ES’s new parents in law. The caterers knew what they were doing (they had been under close instruction from ES’s wife), the food was excellent, and the drinks and conversation flowed. FG was excited by the hubbub and rallied at the important moments to be giggling sweetness itself, despite his illness. The speeches were short and heartfelt and the intimacy of the event shone throughout. We loved it – not only the fact that ES was now married, but that he and his new wife (especially!) had organised what seemed to be an ideal way of doing it.

*^{First Grandchild (FG) Checking The Wedding Presents}*

On the following day, we refreshed with a sunny morning walk around the Royal Botanic Garden and then met up with a very small number of close relatives for a wonderful lunch at Timberyard. LSW and I had been there once before and had been very impressed by the food, decor and ambience. We were very impressed again. It was the centrepiece to another lovely day.

^{Walking In Sunny Royal Botanic Gardens, Edinburgh With Youngest And Middle Sons And Their Partners}

My Dad and sister went back to rest at their hotel. It had been marvellous that they had been able to come and they had made the most of their visit to Edinburgh by taking in a couple of art exhibitions as well as the wedding events. Meanwhile, LSW and I retreated to the Air BnB that we had rented for ourselves, our Middle and Youngest Son and their partners. There, we allowed our emotions to settle quietly in front of a second rate romantic comedy and assorted crisps. What a couple of days!

And then the fun went on! The Monday following the wedding was FG’s first birthday. Unfortunately FG was still unwell and relatively subdued but he enjoyed early use of some of the presents and a trip to one of the local playgrounds. Unlike him, we will remember his first birthday for ever.

*^{Wedding Cake Cleverly Converting To Birthday Cake (FG Loves Penguins!)}*

We left Edinburgh late that afternoon leaving ES and wife to ponder how to manage FG’s illness while both are holding down a job working from home on the back of little sleep. At that point we assumed that the conundrum they faced would be only for a day or two – it turned out to be another week. Oh, the joys of parenthood!

Meanwhile, LSW and I set off for Dunkeld on the River Tay, on the southern edge of the Highlands for rather more rest and relaxation than the newly married couple were going to get.

Seeing Football, Missing Football

September 15, 2022September 15, 2022 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

To Long-Suffering Wife’s (LSW’s) occasional frustration, I have been careful up to now to ensure that our trips to Edinburgh to see First Grandchild and his parents haven’t clashed with home fixtures for my football club, Forest Green Rovers (FGR). I have a season ticket and, quite apart from my desire (obsession?) to see my team play whenever I reasonably can, I’m the sort of person that wants to get full value from my season ticket investment.

However, I am not going to be able to keep this up since First Grandchild (FG) has a birthday around a weekend when FGR are playing at home. Even football doesn’t take precedence over celebrating the end of his first year with us.

That birthday is in November but I am already going to miss another home game later this week when I am accompanying LSW to her long-weekend college reunion in Buxton, Derbyshire. I regret missing the game but, in truth, it is going to be nice to get away for a change of scene again given that we haven’t had a proper holiday this year.

In any case, I have just been able to engineer seeing an away game at Charlton in London during a trip ostensibly to attend my annual dental check-up and to fix a recently broken tooth. So, I have managed to keep up my support in person at a good number of FGR’s games so far this season.

Unfortunately, following promotion as Champions from English Football League 2 last May, this season in a higher league is a struggle. The scale of the clubs we are playing, the impressiveness of their stadiums and the quality of the football is all much greater than in the past. As a result, positive results have, so far, been hard to come by.

*^{A Minutes Silence For The Queen at Charlton Athletic}*

So, it was great that I was able to see us wobble through to secure a draw and a well-earned point at Charlton Athletic – one of the ‘big’ teams who were once in the English Premier League but who now have to cope with us in English Football League 1 (EFL1). Even better, I was able to meet up with a great Australian friend of Youngest Son (and devoted supporter of FGR) at the game and catch up, and sing along, with him. Based on the performance in our last two games, I remain hopeful that we can consolidate our position in EFL1.

*^{Edinburgh’s Inverleith Park: Picnic Panorama}*

More on my brief London trip another time….. Earlier, our August trip to Edinburgh was, as usual, lovely. It was, of course, great to see how much First Grandchild had developed since the last time we have seen him some 6 weeks or so previously. It was nice too to see how Eldest Son (ES) and his partner have settled into their new flat (including a newly decorated kitchen) and have got FGs sleeping at night more under control.

A major change since visits earlier in the year was that, whereas we used to take FG out in his buggy when it was time for him to sleep, now we take him out between naps to keep him awake. That makes the walks around Edinburgh more interesting for him and us. I can envisage that by the time of our next visit, FG won’t be so content to be in his buggy and will want to try out his embryonic walking skills.

*^{Aerial View Of Part Of The Royal Botanical Gardens, Edinburgh}*

We did our usual trip to, and around, the Royal Botanic Gardens. The gardens are interesting all year around and FG particularly likes the running water and waterfalls in the Rockery. For me, the highlight was the Kitchen Garden in front of the Botanic Cottage which was planted with wild flowers. The mix was varied cleverly throughout the planted space so that, when standing in the middle, the colour palette shifted as one turned around.

FG was much more impressed by our visit to the National Museum of Scotland. I’m going to love taking him here every time I get up to Edinburgh. For a small child, there is so much going on, so many buttons to push and so much movement. At this stage, FG seems more interested in the other children than the exhibits but I can see hours of fun ahead.

*^{National Museum Of Scotland, Edinburgh}*

We also had a lengthy walk to The Meadows to the south of Edinburgh centre. Because the timing of our trip coincided with the Edinburgh Fringe – a gathering over a few weeks of a staggering multitude of performance artists from all over the UK and, indeed, the World – the central streets and cafes were crowded.

The streets were also dominated by piles of rubbish because our visit also coincided with a strike by rubbish clearance workers in Edinburgh that had been going on for over a week. The huge piles of trash everywhere underlined how much rubbish we generate in a typical big city and how dependent we are on public services to hide the issue of rubbish disposal from our day to day lives.

Although the overflowing rubbish bins were not a great advertisement for Edinburgh (the workers dispute is now resolved), the city remains a great attraction for LSW and I. The architecture in the centre is stunning, the galleries and museums are befitting of a capital city, the area ES and his partner live in is close to interesting shops, and even the playgrounds we took FG to seemed better appointed but more accessible than average.

We are both looking forward to our November birthday party visit hugely – even though I will miss the delights of watching Forest Green Rovers play live!

My Retirement Journey

I've Retired! What Next?

Edinburgh