Visiting Two Sons

February 20, 2023February 20, 2023 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

A couple of weekends ago we drove the 350 miles north to Edinburgh to get another hugely welcome dose of Eldest Son (ES), his wife and their delightful son. My dodgy back more than held up through the drives up and down, the weather was clear and dry, the electric car charging points we used were all working and available, and so both journeys were smooth.

*^{The (Long) Road To Edinburgh At Keele Services}*

Throughout our visit, First Grandchild (FG) was an unalloyed joy. He only had one 30 minute spell when he was tired and grumpy, but he is now old enough to be distractible and consolable. Whilst his parents have to deal with more of the everyday stresses and strains (and some very early mornings) than I can really remember from our own parenting days, they are settling into their own parenthood, married life and their flat; and FG seems to be loving life!

We had many little trips out with the little one including to the National Museum of Scotland and the Royal Botanic Garden Edinburgh. Both venues have become fixtures in our itinerary for every trip since they are both so toddler-friendly and free (while presumably relying in large part on donations).

We managed a trip out to South Edinburgh with FG, ES and wife to a lovely, relatively new café (Elliott’s) and we twice slipped into Spry Wine Shop and Bar which is, so far, my favourite bar in Edinburgh. Jane commented that being on our own in Spry felt like being naughtily awol from grand-parenting duties but we did babysit later to enable ES and his wife to visit the same bar one evening.

It was a lovely few days of catch-up, good food and of being able to see, first hand, First Grandchild’s developing physicality, brainpower and, perhaps most of all, his sense of humour. The videos we now play every day (sometimes multiple times a day) are those of him mucking about and giggling. As grandparents he is just an absolute treat and we are lucky to be able to see him every couple of months or so.

*^{Grey Skies Over Edinburgh From The Royal Botanical Gardens}*

We were able to visit Middle Son and his partner in Bristol shortly after our return from Edinburgh. A highlight was to be able to see, open/close and touch their new bedroom wardrobes. These were custom made by a craftsman cabinet maker from our village who is near retirement but who is very skilled and has done work in the past in our house. We are so pleased we could help make the connection to him. The wardrobes looked great.

We then all went to a very swish new Spanish restaurant called Paco Tapas which is run by an apparently Michelin starred chef (Peter Sanchez-Inglesias). His reputation and that of his kitchen clearly goes before him and brings in the crowds – the restaurant was packed despite a cost of living crisis and relatively high prices. Certainly the food was very good and some of the small plates were exceptional. I especially liked the lamb rump, pork ribs, patatas bravas and citrusy fennel. I also loved that I faced the kitchen where much was cooked over open flames in a way that provided a bit of extra theatre.

The restaurant was in an area of Bristol that I didn’t know on the south bank of the Avon estuary called Wapping Wharf. It was clearly once a heavily used port area. Large, old cranes still dominate the harbourside while rail tracks criss-cross the roads. There were still many boats on the quayside from modern cruisers (including one surmounted by a helicopter!), to small cargo ships, to The Matthew of Bristol which is a reconstruction of the boat John Cabot used to discover Newfoundland in 1497.

*^{‘The Matthew At Bristol’ And Princes Wharf Cranes}*

It was raining so we didn’t loiter but the wharf and nearby marinas, container-based shopping units and restaurants looked interesting and meriting another visit. Indeed, visiting the cities that our sons have moved to over the last year – Edinburgh, Bristol and Belfast – is one of our great pleasures these days. However, later this week we are taking a break from that cycle to visit Paris…… whoop, whoop!

Barnsley and Bath

February 8, 2023February 9, 2023 / fgrtommo / 1 Comment

Despite a few days of frosty mornings, spring feels like it is coming. Cheerful little snowdrops are out in the verges of our lanes. The birds are getting ever more active and noisy. We can open the blinds when we come down in the morning and get the start of proper daylight and the afternoons no longer seem so truncated. There was another heavy frost this morning but another winter is passing into greater light and warmth.

*^{A Recent Frosty Morning – Pretty Though!}*

I need to start getting active in the garden to clear the as yet unharvested leeks and the rotten stumps of chard and beetroot that I failed to harvest or that the deer got to before I could. Unfortunately, the very frustrating back strain I picked up while coughing (would you believe it!) last month continues to constrain activity a bit and I continue to use it as an excuse to restrict myself to extremely light, low-value gardening duties.

I have continued to use walking (plus a few elementary and, I admit, rather half-heartedly undertaken back exercises) as a way of gradually increasing my back’s mobility. In keeping with my wife’s and my joint New Year resolution to get out more when the weather is forecast to be nice, we went for a lengthy walk around Barnsley a couple of weeks ago. This is not the large market town in South Yorkshire but a nearby village in the Cotswolds that we have visited several times before, but not for a few years.

Despite having a fairly busy road running through it, this Barnsley is one of those picture book Cotswold towns and villages that are full of pretty cottages and large rich merchant and manor houses. There’s a popular pub and Barnsley House – previously home to Rosemary Verey, a famous gardener – is a popular spa and tourist attraction. We didn’t visit those but, rather, walked mainly around the village through open fields, woodland and old parkland. The frost made the ground firmer than expected after the January rain and the sky was brilliant blue. It was a lovely, refreshing walk.

*^{Winter Scenes Around Barnsley, Gloucestershire}*

In a further impromptu excursion last week, Jane and I popped south to Bath. The main element of our planned visit was to pick up a couple of loaves of sourdough bread from the rather wonderful Landrace. It’s a great establishment that worked hard to survive the Covid lockdowns and which sells the best bread I know of.

*^{A Great Group Of Trees In The Circus, Bath}*

Bath is a fair old way to go for just bread so we also visited The Holburne Museum. We also had a very tasty and pleasant lunch at the recently opened Beckford Canteen which is a stylish restaurant set up in an ex-Georgian greenhouse.

At the Holburne Museum we bought tickets for an exhibition of Albrecht Dürer’s woodcuts depicting The Great Passion of Christ and the woodcut publications of a number of Durer’s mentors, contemporaries and followers. The links with the development of the printing press and Lutheranism were of interest but we both found an adjoining exhibition of very different, modern art rather more compelling.

*^{One Of 11 Albrecht Durer Woodcuts Telling The Story Of ‘The Great Passion’}*

The core of this exhibition by Alberta Whittle was a collection of elaborately decorated figures representing African slaves in various poses related to limbo dancing. What was enlightening for both Jane and I was the fact that slaves on slave ships crossing the Atlantic in the 18th century were offered precious time on deck (away from the stinking and confined quarters below) in return for entertaining the sailors with limbo dancing. The figures were alongside decorated cartons which, after inquisition of the Museum guide, we understood to representations of the containers that were used for water and cologne used to douse the slave performers so as to reduce their pungent smell while on deck.

*_{‘Dipping Below A Waxing Moon, The Dance Saves Us’ By Alberta Whittle}*

Whittle’s work here was powerful and informative. In the subject matter and use of brilliant colour, it was reminiscent of the exhibition of a huge procession constructed by Hew Locke that I saw at Tate Britain last September. It was the highlight of our day (if only because we didn’t eat the Landrace bakery bread until the following day).

We have a further life highlight planned later this week: our first visit of the year to Edinburgh to see First Grandchild and his parents! I’m not sure what to expect from my dodgy back after being in car for 8-9 hours, but I am so looking forward to being in Edinburgh again.

Then, to hurry along time until Spring is really here, we have booked a few days in Paris. It’s been years since we travelled abroad so I’m looking forward to getting my passport stamped according to the new Brexity rules and being part of Europe again. There’s nice bread there (and in Edinburgh) too!

Into 2023 and Clevedon

January 16, 2023January 16, 2023 / fgrtommo / 3 Comments

So, we are into 2023 and armed with our New Year resolutions, good intentions and hope that we can look forward to a good year for experiences and memories.

*^{Memories Of A Cold Mid-December 2022}*

So far, the remnants of a chesty cough picked up in mid-December and then a back problem triggered by coughing while in an awkward position have dampened my spirits a little. But all ailments are easing and, anyway, I have positivity in reserve following a momentous 2022 during which all our sons bought flats or houses, and then a great Christmas period with all of those sons, their partners and, of course, First Grandchild. We had a great time.

Going into 2023, I have renewed my vows meet my monthly and annual targets for my weight, my alcohol intake and continuing exercise through walking. Last year was a big ‘tick’ on those and I hope I can sustain that discipline in 2023.

An additional resolution is that my wife* and I intend to be more spontaneous about travel around the United Kingdom. This is a resolution that we made together a few years ago but failed to follow through for long, mainly due to the COVID lockdowns. Now, we plan to use our bigger car battery and judicious use of weather forecasts to slip off to places for day trips or overnight stays in sunny places we know and don’t know.

Already, we have visited Clevedon. This is a seaside town in North Somerset – no more than 40 miles from where we live but never visited by us before. It was an eye-opening day.

The first thing that struck me was the number and large size of so many of the Victorian houses. The town had clearly prospered during Victorian times as a seaside resort and presumably had benefited from money flowing from Bristol in the aftermath of the slavery trade. Clevedon is now a dormitory town for Bristol and most of the huge houses are converted into flats. However, the sheer number of well proportioned, well built and well maintained Victorian residences was a surprise.

*^{Pretty Much As Close As We Could Get To The Pier – Too Windy!}*

We walked down to the sea front where the wind was blasting spray up over the sea wall. We moved quickly past the pier – one of the earliest surviving Victorian piers in the country – up onto the adjoining cliff path and its views of the town and its rocky and pebbly beach. We walked along the coastal path – slightly gingerly in my case due to the unsteadiness of my back – and loved the unexpectedly clear views up and down the coast and across to Wales.

*^{Looking South West Along Clevedon Beach}*

Below us on the way was a brown churning sea; the drama and noise of the waves crashing onto Clevedon’s low cliffs was reminiscent of coastal walks in Devon or Cornwall and got us thinking that trips out in the future might see us venturing a little further west along the coast to even more dramatic coastlines.

*^{Coastal Walk North East Of Clevedon}*

We turned inland across fields and through the nicely named, and occasionally pretty, village of Walton in Gordano and then back to Clevedon’s Victorian streets. There we tucked into a pleasant pizza lunch at Scoozi Ristorante and then headed back home while it was still light, having had a very worthwhile day out. More to come!

Three Property Purchases and a Funeral

December 19, 2022 / fgrtommo / 1 Comment

Last month we went to a funeral for a very popular, lovely, family man almost 10 years younger than me. He had died suddenly leaving his family and friends shocked and bereft. It was an absolutely packed and emotional church service – he was a terrific guy who was enormously popular – followed by an equally packed reception. The whole occasion was very moving and I have thought about it a lot since.

Of course, the overriding feeling during the service and afterwards was sadness that it represented a life cut short, especially as he was so full of life, he had looked so well and was so obviously a vital part of his family, the organisation he worked for and his local community. However, the speeches and readings at the funeral were largely an uplifting celebration of his life. There were many amusing anecdotes and also a lovely poem by David Harkins that provided a positive slant on death that gave a little boost even in such a sad situation.

You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Into this mix of shock, sadness and a celebration of a life well lived, was a feeling of being the recipient of good fortune in that I am still here and reasonably healthy. I have seen three sons settle with three delightful partners and seen Eldest Son produce a wonderful child with his wife. And, this year, I’ve seen all three sons purchase homes with their partners that are each very different but which seem very well suited to each pair; a flat in Edinburgh, a terrace house in Bristol and a semi-detached house in Belfast.

Old age may bring aches, pains and worse but it is a privilege to have had longevity to be able to see our sons grow and establish themselves in the world, to be happy and to establish a platform into which they could introduce new life. As I stood in the crowded church at the funeral, I thought: lucky me.

*^{Late Afternoon Walk With Middle Son And His Partner Near Their New Home In Bristol}*

Even as Christmas approaches and we look forward to hosting our sons and their partners at various times over the Christmas period, Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I are starting to think about making the most of our time with a few trips next year. First, we want to get to Belfast to see Youngest Son’s new house but we will be trying to visit Edinburgh too and, I hope, spending smaller but more numerous fragments of time in nearby Bristol. Plus, after a few years of abstinence, we want to travel abroad again.

Meanwhile, I continue to potter through my local routine of walking, shopping, cooking, and working a bit for the local Climate Action Network and Food Bank. In recent cold, clear weather, the local walks have been a real treat.

Plus, of course, I have been watching a lot of football at the World Cup. Qatar may have been a crazy choice for a number of reasons but the overall quality of the football has been great. For all the concern about the Qatari views on LGBTQ rights and workers rights, it has been a pleasant change to see the joyous, ebullient crowds in the stadia in contrast to the thuggery and tears at Wembley at the Euros a couple of years ago.

My normal routine was also interrupted but enhanced by a trip to Lewes in Sussex. I tagged along with LSW who wanted to visit a specific shop called Freight there. It was a long way to travel for a shop but it was very much LSWs thing and Lewes is a very attractive town.

*^{Harvey’s Brewery And St Michael’s Church, Lewes}*

Harvey’s brewery is based in the town and the smell of hops was delightful as we walked down the high street. It is a smell that reminds me of my home town of Reading which was the home of Courage breweries in my youth. I love it.

After a very good value and pleasant lunch at Bill’s, LSW and I split up for a bit. While LSW surveyed the shops, I wandered around the town’s castle and gardens. The gardens are a bit bleak at this time of year but the weather was fine and the views from the visitor-friendly castle were pretty impressive in all directions.

*^{Views Of And Views From Lewes Castle}*

Since getting back home, the weather has been very cold and then surprisingly snowy. We had about seven inches of snow and it stuck around for almost a week. My Yaktrax Ice Grips allowed me to continue my normal round of walks to and from the local towns and the frost and snow made the local countryside en route even prettier than usual. A week of such weather is, though, enough in my book; I am looking forward to temperatures rising a little bit before Christmas.

*^{Frosty Weather In Nearby Ruskin Mill Valley}*

And so on to Christmas! Hopefully our sons and their partners will be able to avoid the issues caused by strikes and weather to make it down to us from their various new abodes. Then we can feel so lucky all over again…..

*^{A Cold And Not-So-Lucky Grey Heron In Ruskin Mill Valley}*

Onwards to Dundee and Edinburgh

December 4, 2022 / fgrtommo / 1 Comment

Having stayed a couple of nights at the small, tasteful and quirky Taybank hotel, Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I moved on and stayed for further couple of nights in Dundee at a large, modern Premier Inn. This was right on the Tay estuary, over which we had a great but very windswept view.

It was also conveniently close to the new V&A Design Museum outpost in Dundee. This is a wonderful building, designed by Kengo Kuma. The museum provides a video explanation by Kuma of why the museum looks like it does and that made it even more interesting for me.

The weather was intermittently very wet (dreich is the appropriate Scottish word I believe), so we went to the dry comfort of the V&A twice. We took in not only the standing exhibitions, but also the temporary ones including a very comprehensive and wide ranging one about Plastic: ‘The Remaking of Our World’. Fortunately that was every bit as interesting as the big exhibitions I have seen in recent years in the V&A London. It’s great that Dundee has such an impressive centrepiece.

*^{The V&A And RRS Discovery And Some Sun!}*

*^{V&A Dundee: Part Of The Plastics Exhibition}*

While in Dundee, LSW did start to eat again following the illness she had picked up from First Grandchild (FG) the previous weekend. However, she quickly regretted it and, with the rain still persistent, our movements were limited. Then, for a while, the weather relented and we did make it to the McManus Art Gallery and Museum. This is a lovely looking building exhibiting proudly the seafaring and industrial history of Dundee, its art and its most famous people. Then,, as the weather closed in again, we visited the Dundee Contemporary Arts (DCA) centre.

*^{The McManus Galleries, Dundee (And More Sun!)}*

At the DCA we saw an exhibition by Manuel Solano. He became blind after contracting AIDS and, incredibly, the exhibition contained just work that he had produced since losing his sight. Another interesting hour was passed out of the showers.

*^{Manuel Solano In The Big Spaces Of The Dundee Contemporary Art Gallery}*

While at the DCA we also saw Living, a new and very moving film starring Bill Nighy. He is perfect for the lead role and is supported by excellent acting all-round in a really lovely film. We both enjoyed it hugely.

It was great to have visited Dundee and to see a different Scottish city. The weather changed our plans of what to do there and the rain reinforced our impression that the car was king along the city’s coastline since we seemed to spend a lot of time getting wet waiting for the little green man lights and for the traffic to allow us to cross. But, given the tricky weather blowing in from the East, and given that LSW wasn’t fully operational, we did a lot of good things in Dundee.

*^{View From Our Dundee Premier Inn Room (When It Wasn’t Sunny!)}*

On our way back to Edinburgh via the coastal road around East Fife we had to take a couple of diversions to avoid flooding. We spotted the huge waves off the coast as we passed the famous golf course and lovely buildings of St Andrews and decided to stop at the fishing village of Crail on the easternmost coast of Fife to take a closer look. We parked and walked down pretty, narrow lanes to the harbour. As I rounded a corner to get a closer look at the breakers and take a souvenir picture, I was astounded to be instantaneously splattered by sea spray even though the sea was 40-50 yards away. It really was startling weather.

We drove on along the coast and stopped at a recommended coffee house in St Monans (The Giddy Gannet) where LSW managed half a scone. Then we pressed on and had lunch at The Ship Inn right on the coast in Elie where LSW watched me eat a tasty plate of fish and chips with all the trimmings. Then, with one of us rather more stuffed than the other, we set off for a final 36 hours or so in Edinburgh.

Remarkably given the pressures and events of the last few days, Eldest Son (ES) and his wife were entertaining again (with help from her Mum), this time to celebrate her Dad’s birthday. It was a lovely evening with, as usual, lovely food and a chance to meet one of ES’s new uncles-in-law and his wife. Gradually LSW and I are getting to know our newly extended family.

To round off a momentous and lovely week in Scotland, (lovely despite what viruses and the weather occasionally threw at us), we had a few hours with FG including a visit to the National Museum of Scotland. We had taken him there earlier in the year and he loved it again even though he was still recovering from his illness. I previously vowed to take him to this wonderful museum whenever possible when in Edinburgh and that vow stands; it is so exciting for him and, as he grows up, I think it will retain his interest (no pressure FG!)

Dunkeld: Dreich But Alluring

November 30, 2022 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

After celebrating First Grandchild’s (FG’s) first birthday in Edinburgh, we headed north to Dunkeld, ‘The Gateway to the Highlands’, on the southern edge of the Scottish Highlands and on the River Tay.

*^{The Tay at Dunkeld (From The Bridge)}*

We arrived in time to take stock of the village and to stroll past the partly ruined Dunkeld Cathedral (now serving as a Parish Church) to a riverside walk along the Tay.

We learnt a little of the history of the village – it was almost completely destroyed in 1689 during and after the battle of Dunkeld between the forces of William of Orange and the Jacobites supporting James VII of Scotland (who lost this one) – and started to plan the following full day in it.

*^{Old Entrance To Dunkeld House (Which Was Where The Grass Behind Now Is)}*

As twilight drew in, we retreated to the bar of The Taybank hotel where we were staying. Our room was tasteful and very comfortable but notably low-tech (no TV). The bar wasn’t as cosy as it looked but dinner in the restaurant was outstanding. We retired to bed very satisfied with the previous few days of wedding and birthday celebrations and the comfort of our new surroundings.

Tastefulness At The Taybank Hotel

All that rather fell apart next morning. LSW was ill having clearly picked up whatever bug had been bothering FG the previous weekend. With the rain tipping down outside I stayed in the room offering a few words of sympathy – probably not enough – and devouring both of our breakfasts that had been delivered to our door. Those breakfasts were, like the dinner the previous evening, excellent.

With no sign of LSW’s recovery, I set about finding a local electric car charging point and getting us up to full battery capacity again. The only charger in the village was in use with no sign of the driver. While waiting, I sloshed through the rain down to the Tay. I must have looked a sad sight with my umbrella substituting for a lack of properly waterproof clothing and I’m sure the few locals I met giggled under their breath about daft English tourists. However, I was strangely content in what felt like a truly Scottish landscape in dripping, autumnal Scottish weather. I then read my newspaper in its entirety in our drenched and steamed up car for a while before, and then after, finally getting use of the charge point. Job done (eventually)!

LSWs lunch was Paracetamol and by the evening I was thinking that I might need some too for an increasingly persistent headache and back pain. It turned out later that many attendees at the previous weekend’s wedding had fallen down with a variety of illness symptoms. Stomach upset, sickness, headaches and back pain in a variety of combinations were tell-tale signs that we had got too close to FG. As my symptoms passed I felt even sorrier for FG who had probably had all the symptoms but had not understood why and had been unable to do much about it.

I managed another wet stroll through the gloaming both around the village and a little further along the Tay. I was astonished by the speed of the river and impressed by the moodiness of the light and the woodland alongside the river. The area is famous for the age and size of a number of its trees including larch, pines and beech and the history of many is set out informatively and proudly. I am looking forward to visiting again in better weather (when we are both in good health) so we can sample more of the numerous local walks and take in more of the alluring but vaguely melancholy atmosphere.

On our last morning in Dunkeld I again hoovered up both breakfasts. LSW couldn’t eat a thing but, by now, was well enough to venture out to sample several of the local, independent shops. Lon Store was particularly good. Then we then set off in the almost relentless rain for Dundee to see another part of a very wet Scotland.

A Wedding and a Birthday

November 27, 2022August 4, 2025 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

Amid much happiness, our Eldest Son (ES) and his partner were married a couple of weekends ago. Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I had a lovely time in Edinburgh celebrating this huge event with them. What made it extra special for us was that ES and his (now) wife pared down the events of the weekend to a very intimate affair. Everyone who took part was someone very close to the marrying couple. That meant that every conversation with everyone in attendance felt meaningful.

The Registry Office was a grand building with pleasantly decorated rooms and an overseer of the process who achieved the right balance of formality and relaxed bonhomie. First Grandchild (FG), was rather unwell but nonetheless, was well behaved, wasn’t sick on anyone’s dress and loved playing with the room’s long curtains. ES looked smart and the bride looked stunning. As they shared their home-made vows, my tears welled up; their personalisation of the exchange was really moving.

Later in the afternoon and well into the evening, a wedding reception was held at the married couple’s new flat. The flat looked great and was just the right size for a party of about 30 enthusiastic relatives and friends. A few of the latter were fellow new parents who brought contemporaries of FG which added to the lovely, informal conviviality. Everyone was very happy.

*^{Lovely Wedding Reception Table Layout In The Married Couple’s Flat}*

The mantelpieces and tables had been beautifully decorated and set out by ES’s new parents in law. The caterers knew what they were doing (they had been under close instruction from ES’s wife), the food was excellent, and the drinks and conversation flowed. FG was excited by the hubbub and rallied at the important moments to be giggling sweetness itself, despite his illness. The speeches were short and heartfelt and the intimacy of the event shone throughout. We loved it – not only the fact that ES was now married, but that he and his new wife (especially!) had organised what seemed to be an ideal way of doing it.

*^{First Grandchild (FG) Checking The Wedding Presents}*

On the following day, we refreshed with a sunny morning walk around the Royal Botanic Garden and then met up with a very small number of close relatives for a wonderful lunch at Timberyard. LSW and I had been there once before and had been very impressed by the food, decor and ambience. We were very impressed again. It was the centrepiece to another lovely day.

^{Walking In Sunny Royal Botanic Gardens, Edinburgh With Youngest And Middle Sons And Their Partners}

My Dad and sister went back to rest at their hotel. It had been marvellous that they had been able to come and they had made the most of their visit to Edinburgh by taking in a couple of art exhibitions as well as the wedding events. Meanwhile, LSW and I retreated to the Air BnB that we had rented for ourselves, our Middle and Youngest Son and their partners. There, we allowed our emotions to settle quietly in front of a second rate romantic comedy and assorted crisps. What a couple of days!

And then the fun went on! The Monday following the wedding was FG’s first birthday. Unfortunately FG was still unwell and relatively subdued but he enjoyed early use of some of the presents and a trip to one of the local playgrounds. Unlike him, we will remember his first birthday for ever.

*^{Wedding Cake Cleverly Converting To Birthday Cake (FG Loves Penguins!)}*

We left Edinburgh late that afternoon leaving ES and wife to ponder how to manage FG’s illness while both are holding down a job working from home on the back of little sleep. At that point we assumed that the conundrum they faced would be only for a day or two – it turned out to be another week. Oh, the joys of parenthood!

Meanwhile, LSW and I set off for Dunkeld on the River Tay, on the southern edge of the Highlands for rather more rest and relaxation than the newly married couple were going to get.

Task Oriented Autumn

November 9, 2022June 9, 2023 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

A few posts ago I mentioned that I had started going to a Mental Fitness For Men group under the auspices of Talk Club. Our local pub landlord has arranged weekly Talk Club sessions and I have made it to most of them since they started a few months ago. The sessions are of fixed format but the people who turn up each week vary so there is always something new to listen to as well as, usually, something new to say.

I’ve found the meetings useful in that they help me frame what I am grateful for and what I’m going to do in the next week to make things feel better for myself. However, I do often feel daunted by the lucidity with which most others in the weekly groups talk about the way they feel. In comparison I tend to fall back into talking about things I have done and things I’m going to do. I have explained to the group (and myself) that I tend to feel happiest when I am ticking off tasks on my to-do list but I suspect that I need to get deeper into how I feel about life rather than describing tasks.

Having said that, I have felt a certain contentment that, by and large, I have done what I said I would do over the last few weeks. The tasks have varied from raking up the scythed and strimmed grass in the meadow (into piles I don’t quite know what to do with), to harvesting the last summer crops and gathering seed for next year, to production of a string of documents I promised for the local Climate Action Network group that I belong to.

*^{Not Quite A Crown Prince Squash. Grown From Gathered 2021 Seed And Reverted From F1 Hybrid – Tasty Though!}*

Today, post-Foodbank duties, I am even finally managing to get around to making crab apple jelly which is a task that has been on my to-do list for a few weeks. Overall, October and early November has been a good month for tiny achievements amongst my retirement routine!

*^{Making Crab Apple Jelly – Tree -> Apples -> Straining -> Jelly! (First Of Two Batches)}*

There have been a few other high points recently. Middle Son (MS) and his partner have moved from London to Bristol – just 45 minutes away. That means that we will see them more often. For example, Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) and I were delighted when they popped over for an impromptu dinner a couple of Fridays ago. It was lovely to have a normalised drop-in-type arrangement with one of our sons rather than have to think about days packing, travelling and staying away from home.

Not that those sorts of visits are not welcome. We are off to Edinburgh again later this week and can’t wait to see First Grandchild (FG) again (and his parents!) for the first time in over two months. It’s going to be a special visit this time to celebrate not only FG’s first birthday, but also Eldest Son (ES) and his partner’s marriage. I’m so glad they have chosen a relatively low key way of getting married and celebrating that with a few close relatives. However, the event is momentous nonetheless and it will be lovely to have all our boys, their partners, my Dad and my sister all together with FG in one place at the same time.

We have also had some old friends come to visit us for a weekend. We have been rather poor at inviting people over for almost anything since the Covid pandemic; we seem to have just got out of that pattern of being. But it was great to see these long standing and close friends again. We had an active but relaxed time with them that culminated in a delightful walk in the Slad Valley and then an excellent lunch at The Woolpack (of Laurie Lee fame).

*^{The Slad Valley Near Stroud Between Autumn Showers}*

Much of the rest of the time in the last few weeks has been more routine. However, I helped to advertise a talk that our village Climate Action Network group arranged with the Parish Council on rewilding and the impact of climate change on our local trees. The theme of this talk, and a continuing series we have planned for next year, is ‘hope’. This is to counteract the inevitable descent into gloom if we consider and talk too much about the climate and biodiversity emergencies alongside other current preoccupations such as the war in Ukraine and the cost of living crisis.

The first talk in the ‘Hope Talks’ series was almost wildly successful. We have a hard act to follow as we go into next year. The talks themselves bring the village together and just the fact they happen adds to the resilience of the community and its cohesiveness. I edit a quarterly newsletter (another task done this week!) and submit articles to the monthly village magazine but these ‘Hope Talks’ hold out greater promise for conveying useful information while being a great relationship building mechanism.

*^{Our Learned ‘Hope Talk’ Speaker – Local Resident, Dr David Bullock (With Props)}*

Of course, other continuing elements of my recent retirement routine have been steadfast support of local football teams (Forest Green Rovers but also Shortwood United and Horsley United) and more of the Autumnal walks I talked about in my last post.

*^{Local Team Shortwood United In The Process Of Winning 5-0}*

The Autumn weather has been so mild and, until recently, so dry that the walks have been particularly pleasant. The colours in the trees have been changing quite variably from species to species. That has meant that while the reds and yellows have perhaps not been as spectacular as in some past years, the blending of different colours across the valley slopes has been very attractive.

*^{Local Walk Lined With Lime And Hazel Trees}*

I plan to keep up the local walks even as the winter weather closes in. However, I do also plan to reduce the number of discretionary, extraneous things I commit to in the next few months. At least that way I may be able to think more about abstract feelings rather than worrying about the state of my to-do list and the rate of knocking items off it. I may even resort to that old trick of adding things to the to-do list that I have already done…..

*^{Lovely Valley, Lovely Weather, Long Shadows}*

Active Autumn

October 6, 2022 / fgrtommo / Leave a comment

As I walked through woodland this morning amid a cascade of falling leaves, it was clear that Autumn is very much here again. September has been a time for harvest but also the last throes of summer-style travel and partying. I now see October as a time for buckling down for some rather delayed home-based administration and task tidy up before our next trip to Edinburgh in November and then the excitement of Christmas.

*^{Autumn Colour (In This Case, The Incongrouously Named Black Bryony)}*

September was certainly busy and was capped last weekend by a long-delayed visit to us by my Dad and my sister. That was quietly relaxing and allowed my Dad to catch up with developments in our house since his last, pre-Covid visit, and meet up with a few other local relatives. It also allowed us to jointly celebrate Middle Son (MS) and his partner moving into their newly-purchased, pretty, terraced house in Bristol. A few days ago, that hard-won purchase suddenly seemed in jeopardy as the Government made a big misstep that caused interest rates to surge and mortgage deals to be pulled from the market. Our very happy afternoon with MS and his partner was blessed by Virgin Money’s forbearance and lovely sunshine.

Earlier in the month, not only did I manage to visit London and Edinburgh, but I also attended Long-Suffering Wife’s (LSW’s) college reunion with a bunch of her fellow physiotherapy students 40 years on from their graduation in Leeds.

The reunion was held in Buxton which I had not visited for decades. We stayed in a very comfortable and central hotel (The Buxton Crescent Hotel) which produced substantial breakfasts and very good evening meals for the group. The whole event over a long weekend was an enjoyable mix of free time, a long walk across the local Peak District, and organised eating, drinking and socialising both in the hotel and in nearby bars and restaurants. There were a few other (non-physio) partners of LSW’s fellow graduates in attendance so I didn’t feel too out of place. There was a wide variety of personalities, and everyone was interesting in some way. It was a nice thing to do and LSW really enjoyed the mass catch-up.

^{On The Three Shires Walk Near Buxton (Starting In Mist At The Cat And Fiddle Pub, Finishing In A Bit Of Sun)}

Buxton itself is a lovely spa town with many impressive Georgian and Victorian limestone buildings – like a smaller version of Bath, which we know well, and similar to Harrogate which we visited on the way to Edinburgh last year. The evening/night life was surprisingly lively and well catered for by a large number of busy and interesting craft beer bars. We sampled a couple of those with and without the reunion entourage.

*^{A Variety Of Attractive Buildings In Buxton}*

On our ‘free day’, LSW and I went off for a fairly long but pleasant drive to Hardwick Hall. It’s an impressive late-Tudor building surrounded by attractive gardens that I recall – as I do Buxton – from holidays with my parents very many years ago. The weather was kind, the afternoon was lovely and it was great to get value from the life National Trust Membership that my parents bought us so generously when, I think, we got married.

Back in our home village, my schedule has been peppered by the normal smattering of walks, gardening, short shifts at the local Food Bank, my team’s football matches and Men’s Mental Fitness nights (which have helped salve the depression cause by the poor football results!).

*^{A Local Walk Under A Luminous Autumn Sky}*

LSW and I also went to a film showing – ‘Drawn to War’, a film about the life and work of the painter and Second World War artist Eric Ravilious. It was our first cinema outing together of the year and was very enjoyable due both to the content of the film and the novelty of the evening outing.

However, the recent Autumn highlight in the village was a substantial, superbly organised and hugely entertaining 50th birthday party of a friend of ours. The invitees were a mix of her relatives, long standing friends and more recently acquired friends from the village like ourselves. The entertainment was a combination of a bar, a wonderful buffet, an open sided marquee with a dance floor, a DJ, a couple of fire eaters (believe it or not – see below!) and varied, if increasingly inebriated, conversation. I’ve not danced so much for a decade and LSW and I both had great fun.

September has also been a time when I have reaped a harvest of onions and potatoes. Both have been surprisingly productive given the lack of rain during much of the summer. That shortage of rain hampered bean germination but judicious watering has saved some of the squash and chard.

*^{A Fraction Of This Year’s Garden Produce}*

Also, the dry, hot summer enabled me to grow a lot of tomatoes in an open vegetable plot for the first time since I left my allotment in London 25 years ago. Inevitably perhaps, most of the tomatoes are very green but, with our climate inexorably warming, I will try tomato growing again next year.

Finally, as I have in previous years, I find I have to comment on the late summer/early autumn flowering of our remaining two dahlia plants. I have simply never enjoyed cutting flowers and then displaying them in our kitchen/diner so much as I have these Café Au Lait dahlias. Their blooms are large, subtly coloured and, once they start, simply go on and on until the first frost. Now we are in October, those frosts will come soon enough but, for now, these dahlias continue to be a splendid echo of summer and a thoroughly rewarding aspect of Autumn.

Cornelia Parker At Tate Britain

September 23, 2022 / fgrtommo / 2 Comments

I had only vaguely heard of Cornelia Parker before my brief trip to London last week (primarily to see my dentist and my football team). Long-Suffering Wife informed me that this artist had done a work involving an exploding shed and I did vaguely recall that. It was enough to encourage me to book a visit to her current exhibition at Tate Britain and, yes, the exploding shed (called ‘Cold Dark Matter: A Exploded View’) is indeed on show as part of a career-to-date retrospective.

*^{Cornelia Parker’s ‘Cold Dark Matter: An Exploded View’}*

My visit didn’t start particularly well. After a now familiar, but nonetheless lovely, breakfast of kedgeree at Ozone, I strolled to Tate Modern. Once inside, I floundered around like an idiot for a few minutes before realising that the Cornelia Parker exhibition was at Tate Britain not Tate Modern. The upside of this rookie error was that, to even get close to my ticket booking time, I had to travel by Uber-boat down the Thames to get to the right side of town. It was a very pleasant ride on an almost deserted ferry.

*^{Views Of Tate Modern And The Houses Of Parliament From The Thames Uber Boat}*

The Cornelia Parker was at the back of the Tate Britain building and the route to it took me past an enormous display by Hew Locke called The Procession. I was late and in a hurry but as I walked past I could see that the installation was full of a sense of carnival but also images of slavery, colonialism and imperialism. It was certainly an impressive and very colourful use of the main, central space in the gallery and I spent a little more time viewing it on my way back from the Parker exhibition.

*^{Views of Hew Locke’s ‘The Procession’ At Tate Britain}*

The Cornelia Parker retrospective was a bit of a surprise even though I only had hazy ideas of what to expect. It was posed those perennial questions about ‘what is art?’ through display of part-manufactured goods, used products and repurposed objects. It was an exhibition revealing process as well as end result.

For example, she worked with a police force to obtain a shot gun that they had destroyed by cutting it up. The several parts had been placed alongside a strip of rust grains from another rusted and destroyed gun in a way that implied blood caused by firearms. Violence was implied by a number of other objects such as the steel template of a gun from the earliest stage of gun manufacture.

Other works included piles of black lacquer cut from discs to produce vinyl records (‘Negatives of Sound’) and piles of silver left over from engravings (‘Negative of Words’). Another weirdly attractive set of works were cloths stained from rubbing silver spoons belonging to famous/infamous persons such as Davy Crockett and Guy Fawkes (see below).

In one room there were a series of suspended pools of crushed silver objects apparently collected from flea markets and then collectively flattened by a steamroller (‘Thirty Pieces of Silver’). Another similar exhibit was of flattened brass instruments hung in a circle like a huge silver mobile (‘Perpetual Canon’).

*^{‘Thirty Pieces of Silver’ By Cornelia Parker At Tate Britain}*

*^{‘Perpetual Canon’ By Cornelia Parker At Tate Britain}*

‘Cold Dark Matter: An Exploded View’ was the centrepiece of the exhibition and was an arresting sight. As the accompanying blurb pointed out, it both looked like a moment of explosion but also, as one stood back, felt like an implosion; like a moment in one of those films of something exploding put into reverse.

*^{Close Ups ‘Cold Dark Matter: An Exploding View’}*

It was great that the exhibition wasn’t crowded and I spent quite a while peering into the exploded shed at the diverse and disintegrated contents. The explosion, when organised by Parker with the Army School of Ammunition and a chunk of Semtex, had clearly followed some degree of cramming of the shed with strange objects from toys to clothing and from tools to cable. As with some other works on show, the shadows were as impactful as the substance. Nicely done!

On my way home I stopped in opportunistically at the White Cube Gallery in Masons Yard which I had not visited before. This gallery is smaller in scale than its bigger brother White Cube Gallery in Bermondsey but follows a similar pattern with very large, starkly pure white rooms.

*^{Leon Wuidar at The White Cube, Mason’s Yard, London}*

On the walls were numerous works by a Belgian artist called Léon Wuidar. The works had a pleasant simplicity and some had very warm, comforting colours. It was a more straightforward art experience than that Cornelia Parker and the Tate had provided earlier in the day but I’m glad I popped in to see it.

My Retirement Journey

I've Retired! What Next?